Since her ex Ryan Reynolds has begun blogging for the Huffington Post (and I won’t get into this in much detail, but his stuff is so overwritten and irrelevant and annoying — we get it, Ryan. You know big words and you’re a famous actor. Big props to you, buddy.), Perez has offered Alanis an opportunity to blog for him!

We’d like to offer Alanis Morissette her own little online outlet to talk about whatever she wants.

Write an essay for us!

Alanis writing for Perez!!!!! I love it. Come on, Alanis. After So-Called Chaos, you owe us.

Also, this is the slowest news day ever.

Hilary Duff’s new single is pretty addicting. Kind of like Vicodin. When you’re Nicole Richie. [popbytes]

Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds must have received the letters I’ve been writing them, begging that the natural order of the universe be restored, and that Ryan Reynolds genes of total hotness not be mixed with Alanis’s weird pear-shaped ones. They’ve split up. [Hollywood Grind]

I hate covering stories that involve Katie Holmes talking. [Defamer]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan. [The Blemish, The Superficial]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan’s mom. [Hollyscoop]

Yes, we have pictures of Denise Richards’ labia. This is very good news for Heather Locklear in the maintenance and improvement of the voo-doo doll. [The Superficial]