Betty White has been so awesome these days that it’s going to suck even harder when she dies (I know that’s morbid, but c’mon. I know there’s someone else out there who was thinking the same thing.) I think she’s getting funnier as she gets older or something, it’s just ridiculous. Case in point: The teaser for her new Snickers Superbowl ad. Her face, her outfit, her impressive knee flexibility for a person her age… how can you not love this bitch? I can’t wait to see* the rest.

*I don’t watch foolsball. I’ll wait until it’s on the Internet.

“I hope you die, so I can be the last Golden Girl!”

- Betty White’s “get well” note to fellow former Golden Girls cast member Rue McClanahan, who is recovering from a stroke.

As if I even have to say it: Betty White is so legendary. I don’t think I’ll be as amused by anything else I read this week as I was by this little tidbit.

Betty White gets top billing, both because she is awesome and because I know she’d appreciate me putting her picture immediately under the heading “The SAG Awards.”

Betty received the lifetime achievement award at the  such-n-such annual Screen Actor’s Guild Awards (do you really care what number it is?) which are being held as we speak. Well, as I type.

And Betty was also the most badass bitch on the red carpet.

Diane Kruger and Helen Mirren both looked lovely and classy as well, while Jeff Bridges cleaned up nice in a sharp tuxedo.  Everyone really classed it up tonight. The worst dressed person was probably Drew Barrymore, and she didn’t really look bad, just disheveled, as she is wont to do.

Betty White dropped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon this past Thursday to play a little beer pong and outshine everyone in the universe with her geriatric awesomeness. Golden Girls fo’ eva!

As a child I loved Golden Girls. It didn’t matter in the least that they were all senior citizens and I was approximately seven years of age. Their unwavering friendship and golden deliciousness crept right into my tiny child-size heart. Now I can relive a portion of that because TV Guide is reporting that Betty White will  return to TV this Spring playing “a crazy witch lady that’s always lived in town and who everybody has always been scared of.”  in an episode of  ’My Name is Earl’!

 Betty White looks frail, but she’s spry as a kitten. I almost died when she roasted William Shatner.

It’s not the multiple years people had speculated she might do.

It’s not even the 40+ days Paris Hilton got for driving on a suspended license.

No, Lindsay’s plea deal stipulates that, for her second DUI in less than a year, she will do around four days in jail. It’s the Nicole Richie sentence.

She just struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI (driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher). By law, Lohan becomes a second offender (with two DUIs) and must serve a minimum of four days in jail.

Lohan also pled no contest to two counts of being under the influence of a controlled substance (two separate incidents) and reckless driving — all misdemeanors.

The judge just said Lohan will serve 36 months probation and attend an alcohol education program for 18 months for the first DUI.

Looks like the Paris Hilton thing was just a blip on the horizon. Celebrity justice is back in full effect.

Elliot Mintz is that little man that always follows around Paris Hilton, trying to clean up her messes. He is always denying her ho bag ways and I’m guessing he gets paid quite a lot to do it. After Paris’s little fight with Shanna Moakler he came out with this statement,

“I can’t say for certain why this happened, but Moakler is known to be upset by rumors that Paris is dating Travis Barker,” Mintz said. “Those rumors are not true. They are not dating.”

Ok, so they are not dating. But according to the pic above they are doing something. Maybe they are just “friends with benefits?” They recently took a little trip to Amsterdam together where I’m guessing they just, you know, looked at art.

Here is another awesome Elliot Mintz lie. When Paris was caught with that baggie of leafy green stuff (ie WEED) here was Elliot’s statement,

I just want to get something clear,” said publicist Elliot Mintz. “Paris Hilton rolls her own tobacco cigarettes. It was tobacco.”

I feel sorry for this guy. Paris is a public relations nightmare. Deny Deny Deny.