Betty White dropped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon this past Thursday to play a little beer pong and outshine everyone in the universe with her geriatric awesomeness. Golden Girls fo’ eva!

As a child I loved Golden Girls. It didn’t matter in the least that they were all senior citizens and I was approximately seven years of age. Their unwavering friendship and golden deliciousness crept right into my tiny child-size heart. Now I can relive a portion of that because TV Guide is reporting that Betty White will  return to TV this Spring playing “a crazy witch lady that’s always lived in town and who everybody has always been scared of.”  in an episode of  ’My Name is Earl’!

 Betty White looks frail, but she’s spry as a kitten. I almost died when she roasted William Shatner.

It’s not the multiple years people had speculated she might do.

It’s not even the 40+ days Paris Hilton got for driving on a suspended license.

No, Lindsay’s plea deal stipulates that, for her second DUI in less than a year, she will do around four days in jail. It’s the Nicole Richie sentence.

She just struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI (driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher). By law, Lohan becomes a second offender (with two DUIs) and must serve a minimum of four days in jail.

Lohan also pled no contest to two counts of being under the influence of a controlled substance (two separate incidents) and reckless driving — all misdemeanors.

The judge just said Lohan will serve 36 months probation and attend an alcohol education program for 18 months for the first DUI.

Looks like the Paris Hilton thing was just a blip on the horizon. Celebrity justice is back in full effect.

Elliot Mintz is that little man that always follows around Paris Hilton, trying to clean up her messes. He is always denying her ho bag ways and I’m guessing he gets paid quite a lot to do it. After Paris’s little fight with Shanna Moakler he came out with this statement,

“I can’t say for certain why this happened, but Moakler is known to be upset by rumors that Paris is dating Travis Barker,” Mintz said. “Those rumors are not true. They are not dating.”

Ok, so they are not dating. But according to the pic above they are doing something. Maybe they are just “friends with benefits?” They recently took a little trip to Amsterdam together where I’m guessing they just, you know, looked at art.

Here is another awesome Elliot Mintz lie. When Paris was caught with that baggie of leafy green stuff (ie WEED) here was Elliot’s statement,

I just want to get something clear,” said publicist Elliot Mintz. “Paris Hilton rolls her own tobacco cigarettes. It was tobacco.”

I feel sorry for this guy. Paris is a public relations nightmare. Deny Deny Deny.

• Kari Ann Peniche(’s publicist) finally breaks her day-long silence about the abrupt and predictable end to her week-long engagement to Aaron Carter.

• Brandon Davis gets in his second fight this week. I think he and Jason Wahler have an agreement to alternate days.

• Would you like to see a (tragically, censored) video of Steve-O urinating on his own red carpet? You’re in luck!

• Paris Hilton is formally charged with that DUI she picked up earlier this month. The maximum sentence is six months in jail, so keep your fingers crossed.

• The new Killers album is available for streaming on The Leak.

• NBC has complete episodes of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Heroes available on its website. Not to be outdone, ABC has most of its primetime lineup available online, too. See, folks? Desperate Housewives may not be funny anymore, but boy oh boy is it ever accessible!