Quotables

August 9th, 2009 by Kelly



Ashton Kutcher, MENSA member

“If the fat people just gave the skinny people more food, we could all just eat… We could solve obesity and hunger at the same time.”

Nobel Prize winning genius Ashton Kutcher on his plan to end world hunger.


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65 Responses to “Quotables”

  1. mhmm says:

    HAHA this was so funny! He said this while on Late Night with Conan, I believe.

  2. Saya says:

    Ashton is such a loser.

  3. Hautie says:

    He really has become the King of Douche’s.

    It is not even this comment… but everything that comes out of his mouth, just drives home the fact he is as dense as Paris Hilton.

    For the life of me… I am still wondering what the in the world did Demi Moore saw in him? Another child to raise?

    • kiddo says:

      For the life of me… I am still wondering what the in the world did Demi Moore saw in him? Another child to raise?

      ///////////////////////////////

      Yeah cause she is doing a stellar job isnt she. Wasnt it her kid with the pack of cigs and being held up by friends recently in the gossip rags?

      a gaggle of losers they be!

  4. Anonymous says:

    yeah. you know what? i think what he means is that if we distribute the resources, it would be better for everyone in the planet.

    • kiddo says:

      No I think he meant it as a slam against obese people.

      Obese people usually are an easy target and normally he would get a laugh. Bad timing as it now being discovered the govt Obama care has it in for overweight people as well.

      I agree with other, he is a loser.

      • Adrian says:

        fat people are easy targets for one GLARINGLY obvious reason… finger it out. Obama having it in for fat people and wanting to reduce obesity are two different things btw.

    • OMG says:

      If that is what he meant then he should have said exactly that.
      He is retarded. I wish some brave soul would shove his laptop up his twat.

    • Andi says:

      Yeah, well he should start with his resources. Maybe save a house or two for some unfortunate souls by keeping his wife out of the plastic surgeon’s office.

  5. elli says:

    sounds like something michael kelso might have said!

  6. rita says:

    What an ignorant comment he made.

  7. cj says:

    He probably meant it metaphorically but still….yeah, what an idiot.

  8. jennb says:

    OMG. Really people. It was a joke. I really don’t think he genuinely meant that’s the way to solve obesity and hunger. A joke. Lighten up. WOW.

    • Jennb is a dumbfuck says:

      Honestly, you little tard! It was a stupid joke. Only a little twitt like yourself would see humor in it. Who the fuck is still interviewing the jackoff?

      You are a prime example of how worthless the youth of today really, truly is.

      Maybe you should read a book you dumb ass? No? Too busy twatting out your incomplete thoughts on Twittwer? Shopping at the mall? ASS!

      • mireee says:

        “You are a prime example of how worthless the youth of today really, truly is.”

        This worthless youngster could tell you to go fuck yourself you pathetic excuse for a human in the four languages she speaks, but you aren’t worth the time.

        • Anonymous says:

          The youth is truly bringing this website down. Can’t wait until school is back in session.
          ^ whatever- is faux British slang one of your “languages”?I would say Anglophile, but that doesn’t cover your fakeness.
          Cheery-o mate!

        • JennB says:

          Thanks mireee.

      • Jennb says:

        I know this is the same person who typically writes pathetic, worthless comments after every thing you write. I haven’t responded to you in a while, which I guess really bums you out, since you probably don’t have much going on for you in your pathetic, worthless existence.

        What type of loser just writes antagonistic comments on the thoughts of other people while hiding behind generic names and fake avatars. YOU ARE A SAD EXCUSE FOR LIFE. This is all you have to do? Fuck you.

        “Read a book you dumb ass?” Hmm. How did I manage to graduate high school with a 4.2 GPA and college with a 3.99 while being a complete, illiterate idiot? How did I get into law school when all I do with my time is shop and “twat” my thoughts on “Twittwer?” You don’t know shit about me, but from how you act I can tell a hell of a lot about you.

        Yea, I know I should continue to ignore you and responding to your pointless nonsense isn’t helping things. That is what I’ll continue to do. Just don’t assume you know anything about me. Now, go crawl back into your dark, twisted hole.

        Have a great weekend! :-D

        • Anonymous says:

          Oh shut the fuck up you 4.2 gpa asshole bitch! You’re the type everyone loved to hate in school. UGH!

        • pufinstuf says:

          I mean this in the nicest possible way, but if you’re going to be an attorney (or just get along in life), you are going to need to get a thicker skin. If some jerk you don’t even know can make you so defensive that you’re posting your GPA online to prove you’re smart, that’s not a good thing. Like I said, this isn’t so much criticism as it is concern. I’ve let people get to me in my life but now I’m older, I try not to. Most of them aren’t worth the mental energy.

    • kiddo says:

      OMG maybe we can throw some black jokes, Jew jokes and the like. Discrimination is discrimination. He is somewhat of a public figure that young people listen to, he needs to be responsible on how he speaks of people.

      Not a funny joke. Not funny at all. Rather sad that he has to take a shot at people to get attention.

      and yes I used to be fat and I never appreciated jokes like that, just like people dont like jokes about other sight jokes. ie: big noses, big ears, small boobs.

      • Jill says:

        Errr.. not really the same wavelength, is it though?
        You can’t change if you’re black or Jewish. There’s no need to anyway.

        However, being fat is entirely that own persons fault and it never really is “a glandular problem”, is it? I feel that we should be allowed to “discriminate” against the “horizontally challenged” if they’re too god damn lazy to put down the cheese burgers and go for a run. Why is everything so PC these days? God I hate fat people who whine.

        Oh and FYI, Ashton Kutcher studied biochemical engineering at university. Thought you ought to know.

        • mmmhmmm says:

          Did he graduate? NO

        • kiddo says:

          Yes I did know of his schooling. And his brother heart condition.

          To bad the drugs wasted his mind away or was it the booze or both?

          Maybe he got a drink from his stepdaughter he is probably feeling up as his ugly toothless hag wife is going under for more plastic surgery.

          To bad we cant ask Michael Jackson about the color change and what perception did to make him go through all of that. Ask someone who changed religion just to survive because perception and discrimination forced or scared them to.

          Ask a child who will starve themselves near to death not to be “horizontally challenged” . Kind of is the same.

          A perception is a perception. Discrimination is discrimination.

          You openly disriminate against fat people. I openly discriminate against ignorance.

          Now ignarance is something that “Errr.. not really the same wavelength, is it though?”

  9. Jill says:

    Errr.. not really the same wavelength, is it though?
    You can’t change if you’re black or Jewish. There’s no need to anyway.

    However, being fat is entirely that own persons fault and it never really is “a glandular problem”, is it? I feel that we should be allowed to “discriminate” against the “horizontally challenged” if they’re too god damn lazy to put down the cheese burgers and go for a run. Why is everything so PC these days? God I hate fat people who whine.

    Oh and FYI, Ashton Kutcher studied biochemical engineering at university. Thought you ought to know.

    • Jill is fat says:

      You sound like a fatty in denial. Fat ass.

    • Mike says:

      Well, considering that Judaism is a religion, you can decide not to be a Jew.

      Just sayin’….

    • Anonymous says:

      Actually…people who have the propensity to over-eat have a bonified medical condition. Ultimately stemming from an OCD/eating disorder. It doesn’t have anything to do with laziness. Someone who is 15 or 20 lbs overweight may have laziness issues but not an obese person with an eating disorder. Why do people feel sorry or anorexics and run them to a psychiatrist but the fat people slip through the crack? (And yes…’fat people slipping through cracks’ is funny.)

      Now to the point, and as far as what Ashton says, who gives a shit. He is an ass anyway.

      • cj says:

        I agree, but I can’t resist pointing out that the term is “bona fide.” It’s Latin for “good faith” and it means genuine. Not “bonified”–although that is a pretty awesome word.

    • Ashton was no genius in college says:

      Studying Biochemical Engineering and actually passing it, is completely different. Taking one class in Biological Engineering is not the same as studying it. He left college because he was stupid; period. Get your facts straight before you start defending a loser and stop getting your info off of Wikipedia.

  10. Ican't believethis says:

    If the skinny drug addicts just gave their crack to the fat people, we would have a lot more skinny addicts. If the rich celebrities just gave their money to the poor we would have either a better fed population or more drug users. Does any of this make sense?

  11. Beet Czar says:

    Come On! Context, people… he said a joke… No one freaked when Sam Kinison told the people of Africa to move to the water, they live in a freakin’ desert.

  12. V says:

    lol @ the fatties here getting butthurt about this stupid joke.

  13. Lindsay says:

    let me preface this by telling you all that i’m someone who has been on the receiving end of too many skinny “jokes” since i was born. that comment is effing funny! I just gained some respect for mr. kutcher.

    • mmm hmmmm says:

      That doesn’t boast much for your intelligence level, dear.

      I rather doubt it is “fat people getting butt hurt” as another commenter has said. Rather I believe this moron speaks far too much and fart too often about any and everything.

      I cant support anything that comes out of the mouth of a man-child that believes Rumer Willis to be talented and ties to push Twitter upon the world as violently as he does. Perhaps people are truly “butt hurt” because of a Twitter lve being rped up their ass via Ashton and Demi.

      This man is NOT a comedian and he should leave the jokes to people who are actually funny.

      • mmm hmmmm says:

        really cute moderator. Sentence should have been *Perhaps people are truly “butt hurt” because of Twitter promotion being raped up their ass via Ashton and Demi*

        A moderators is to watch for abusive behavior NOT to push a personal agenda.

      • ha says:

        ha, “fart”

        • rayne says:

          “fart too often”

          *snort” the only funny thing i’ve read in this thread so far. what an awesome typo.

    • Anonymous says:

      seriously, you thought was “effing funny” and made you gain respect for ASSton?

      Wow.

  14. pufinstuf says:

    This is the most ridiculous, oversimplistic idea of what causes hunger I’ve ever heard. He is either joking, or he has the mentality of a four year old.
    As a joke, it is at most mildly amusing.
    And yes, I am fat but I’m not offended- he used proper terminology, he wasn’t like “all those lardbos should give up stuffing their faces with Twinkies” or anything.
    And to those who think losing weight is as easy as just putting down the cheeseburger and going running, I hope you never get fat. You will be in for a rude awakening.

  15. hannah says:

    I think if he said skinny people should eat more, without mentioning fat people, noone would have a problem, i think obesity=anorexia, they’re both unhealthy images of what a body should look like. That’s why i don’t get why people get so disgusted when they say aneroxic girls, but feel sorry for the fat ones, that i really don’t get…
    Oh, and i think he meant it as joke, no need to get all angry over a stupid comment like that, it’s not like people listen to him anyway….

  16. Jennb says:

    Why is everyone so PC and uptight? I’m sure NONE of you ever said anything that was judgmental or could be construed in some way that MAY hurt someone’s feelings? Probably every single person reading this site has something that can/has been made fun of: height, weight, appearance, intelligence, socioeconomic background….etc. If we’re going to get upset over every little thing instead of letting some stuff roll of our shoulders then we’re going to be one stressed out, oversensitive society. Well, I guess we already are.

    I don’t think he was particularly hilarious, I just don’t think he was that offensive.

    He was referring to overweight and underweight individuals. He wasn’t picking on particular people or naming names. He wasn’t calling for us to throw rocks at fat people or go after some minority group.

    I stand by my opinion that everyone should just lighten up.

    • Adam says:

      Probably every single person reading this site has something that can/has been made fun of: white male reading a gossip website…./cry

  17. Rose says:

    He behaves like an idiot so often how do you know when he is serious? I subscribed to his tweets until I realized how immature he is for his age, and wondered why Demi needs a forth kid, when she married one. And not only was the comment immature it was hurtful to people who struggle with obesity their whole lives, only to have tweetard like Asshton use their problem as manure to gain himself more laughs. FYI, I would not flaunt your GPA as a way of making someone else feel like and idiot, when you are defending a absolute tool like Ashton.

    • JennB says:

      I’m not using my GPA to make “Jennb is a dumbfuck” feel like an idiot (s/he does that well enough w/o my help). I was using it as an example to show that user that s/he knows nothing about me and shouldn’t judge me, or the rest of our “worthless youth.”

      • Rose says:

        If his/her comment was so far off, why let him/her bother you? Ignore them and just keep posting your comments about the tool Asshton.

        • JennB says:

          I typically do. Of the last 50 times I commented, that person commented like that about 46 of the times. I have been ignoring him/her, but this time it just pissed me off enough. Everyone has their breaking point, but now I’m good. I’ll wait for 50 more uncalled for antagonist comments until next time.

  18. Deb says:

    what an out of touch with reality, self absorbed douche

  19. Rose says:

    BTW, a few people need to take him up on his suggestion, and jump him when he is leaving one of these talk shows and force feed him a few slices of “humor” and a can or two of “laugh your butt off” because Asshton is obviously lacking in these vital nutrients, and is crying out for help.

  20. CrabtownUSA says:

    RE: JennB — WHAAA WHAAA WHAAA —- someone call the Whamubulance because they are picking on your precious Asshole.

    To Asshole Katcher:

    Shut up. You are stupid. Your wife is ugly. Your stepkids are uglier. You are not funny. Not then — not now — not ever.
    Didn’t I tell you to shut up you moron?

    • Anonymous says:

      Yeah, you’re definitely better looking than Demi Moore. (I’ll do you a favor and let you know right off the bat that that was sarcasm, so you won’t be up all night trying to wrap your brain around that.)

  21. ZORR44 says:

    C’mon people…let things be & unite against the real causes of woe in this world. Homos & the French!! Don’t get me started on them French homos..

  22. CrabtownUSA says:

    Demi Moore is ugly. She can have all the plastic surgery she wants. She is still an ugly cross eyed, big beak nosed, giant chinned man-looking beast. Boobs are fake, face is fake, belly is fake, hair is fake. FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE. She came from a trailer park and no matter how hard she tries to “cut” the trailer park out she just can’t do it.

    If plastic is what you like, plastic is what you get. Quite frankly blow up dolls are plastic too, and don’t cost as much. What ever floats your boat. If you drag a $1 bill in front of her, I bet she’ll run for it. That’s how Bruce got her.

  23. CrabtownUSA says:

    LOL, ZORR!

  24. paula says:

    He behaves like an idiot so often how do you know when he is serious?I have seen some related topics on “Militaryflirting.c o m”,where there are so many handsome and promising military singles and so many hot and beautiful military admirers.

  25. OprahWinfrey says:

    The first skinny motherfucker that touches my fried chicken is gonna get their skinny ass wrist snapped like a wishbone. You bitches got that?

  26. Anonymous says:

    Why does Knot-hole purchase and consume the horrendously expensive, healthiest food grown, tended and reaped by the poor and doesn’t scream at the villians he hobnobs with, like the elite rich himself.. leaders of the free world and dictatorships.. , allowing their countries to ‘..give the best to the rich and the least to the poor’ by profitable trade and treaty regulations where some poverty sticken citizens can not even own land in their country to support themselves, go to the doctor.. or to have more than cheapest allocation from meat and produce leftovers ..for their hard and ornerous labor? I love when they visit poorest countries, tut-tut at all the beggars and war in the lands.. in dismay, stay in the finest hotels and gourge on the daintiest fare provided there, enjoy the pristine sites of land set aside for visual awe.. rape and abuse their finest ladies and young men for pleasure without fear, then showcase themselves as generous for a profit and publicity in a charity event to grow richer, live nicer.. eat better.. while the same old same-old situation keeps happening and they wallow in the applause, and YOU donate their continuance in greed and luxury.. don’t you..? I didn’t even go into how they get their cheap medical and drugs there too…

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