Celebs Raise Money for AIDS Research, But All I Care About Is Their Expensive, Hideous Clothing

May 23rd, 2009 by Kelly



paris-hilton-amfar

And now comes the point in the evening where I take a break from playing Punch Out to look at pictures of celebrities in expensive, but not always beautiful clothing.

Several celebs turned out for the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS Dinner held as part of the Cannes Film Festival. I wish I were the kind of person who opts not to say snarky things about celebrities when they’re actually doing something good and magnanimous, if not exactly altruistic. But let’s be realistic here– if I were that kind of person, I wouldn’t be writing for this blog.

While there were some attractive, well-appointed attendees– Claudia Schiffer looked adorable and Robert Pattinson actually managed to look alluring, not creepy– there were just as many couture trainwrecks.

Diane Kruger fell into one of those giant layer cakes that strippers pop out of and liked the feeling of buttercream between her tits so much that she decided to cover it in fabric and wear it to dinner. Zoe Saldana, who plays Uhura in the new Star Trek movie, couldn’t find a suitable dress, so she cut the tops off of several pairs of extra extra large nude pantyhose, draped them around her shoulders, tied them in a knot, and hoped no one would notice.

Meanwhile, Paris Hilton showed up wearing something that looked like a tinfoil cupcake wrapper mated with the seashell themed accessories decorating your Aunt Dee-Dee’s bathroom. She then proceeded to spread her legs and lean at awkward, 70 degree angles– either because she was posing for photos or because someone was holding a limbo contest just off camera.

In all seriousness, amfAR is a worthy cause, and I’m glad that these celebs took time out of their busy schedules of partying and wearing fancy dresses to party and wear fancy dresses for a cause. I just question the choice of fancy dresses.


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20 Responses to “Celebs Raise Money for AIDS Research, But All I Care About Is Their Expensive, Hideous Clothing”

  1. Eat it! says:

    Beet is an ugly, wanna be educated bitch that wears a Rosary daily and isn’t catholic! Bite me beet! Go lick Mini me’s ex gf!

  2. Jinxy says:

    Ah, that isn’t nice, what are you 12? Perhaps that was from Paris herself, it’s retarded enough.

    The dress that Paris is wearing, or giant clown pants which is more likely, is pretty ugly and not the right size, so it was a loner – but what is with that zoot suit that douche Reinhart is wearing? It’s two sizes to big as well. If you are getting free clothing, shouldn’t you at least not look like you’re wearing your parents hand me downs? That’s funny! They look like chimps dressed up for a show. Well at least they aren’t dry humping, so that’s a relief.

  3. Ashley says:

    Hey Donatella! Lisa Rinna wants her lips back!

  4. Andi says:

    I would think that AIDS would high on your list of important issues to back – second only to gay marriage.

    • Amanda says:

      Wow, that is a really smart thing to say. Its like you live in 1981! Most AIDS cases occur because of unprotected, heterosexual sex (go to the CDC’s website) – or did you not take sex ed. in high school? I’m thinking you probably didn’t graduate from high school.

      • Andi says:

        Hey, checked out that CDC site you recommended & found that in 2006 53% of AIDS cases were related to man on man sexual contact. Nothing to shrug off. Don’t be so naive.

        • Ashley says:

          I think you are looking at statistics in the US. (The chart I saw for 2006 showed 50% – not 53%.)

          However, if you look at world-wide statistics (yes, there are other countries), you will find that the ratio is different.

          For example, in sub-Saharan Africa, women make up over half of the population living with HIV/AIDS in many countries. Children make up a much smaller, but significant percentage. (Source: http://www.avert.org/subaadults.htm)

    • meg says:

      It really annoys me when people don’t take the time to see which editor wrote the post…This is written by Kelly. Evil Beet is the one who commonly posts about gay marriage news. So why don’t you check your facts before you bash someone.

  5. meg says:

    Heyyyy where’s that Robert Pattinson picture you promised?? ;-)

    • Cat says:

      I was thinking exactly the same thing.

      …But it’s not like I was disappointed or anything.

      *shifty eyes*

  6. Priscilla says:

    outfit gets a big ol “thumbs down”
    paris sucks ass

  7. Kaitlyn says:

    Man, Robin Wright Penn sure is looking old these days. Probably cause her husband (ex husband? husband?) is such a douche

  8. mcbiscuit says:

    Paris is rockin’ some I Dream of Jeannie shit.

  9. Lina says:

    Where’s the Robert Pattinson picture?:(

  10. Manda says:

    LOVE Dita’s dress!!! <33

  11. YoMomma says:

    Hate to be mean but….what is that thing on top of Mike Meyers head?

  12. JodiOdie says:

    You say he looks hot and then you dont put his picture in the post?! Give me some Robert ASAP!

  13. cacahuatita says:

    god…tacky really IS priceless

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