Shia Talks Size

May 16th, 2009 by Evil Beet



shia_labeouf

Shia LaBeouf is running his mouth again, this time about the size of his wee-wee. Turns out he’s no Tommy Lee. Shia talked to Playboy about losing his virginity and all the accompanying awkwardness:

“I was shaking in my boots,” he says about the romp, four years ago. “Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I’d been naked in the light, in front of a girl, with no hiding place … I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie … [It] put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.

So let this be a warning to everyone: Trying to copy what you see in porn isn’t always the best idea. Also, it makes you look like a porn star. Seriously, folks, if he wants to to spit on it the first time you get down and dirty, he’s not really all that into your personality. Say no thank you and leave.


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26 Responses to “Shia Talks Size”

  1. ThickMascara says:

    The last couple sentences of your post do not make sense.

    • jenn says:

      Well, it makes more sense if your boyfriend has ever asked you to spit on it.

      Actually, WTF! I thought that was totally normal!

    • Anonymous says:

      oh actually, I think she is talking how men spit on women’s vaginas a lot in porn- you know, for lubrication. they always seem like they are so angry when they do it to..

      oh and the pillow thing is a good call- it can align your bodies better so its easier for a girl to have an orgasm.

    • Kevinisstupid says:

      It makes sense to me…

      Spit is an alternative to lube.

    • kat says:

      OMG. If I watched porn I would have known it wasn’t just this guy’s “kink”. Jesus, I could have avoided retarded heartache. I totally thought that was a weird request though. Ugh, the charm of men pre-bedroom. And yes, I am that dense- I prefer to think it adds to my charm!

  2. Louise says:

    Hahaha. I’m starting to like this guy.

  3. DarkEmpress says:

    If I were a girl in hollywood, I would avoid this dude. He just loves telling everything.

  4. baba booey says:

    if he bangs megan fox, all his sins are absolved. end of story. doesn’t matter about a small peen, or some gross spitting thing; he bangs megan fox, and especially if he tells us about it, all will be forgiven

  5. hil says:

    ugh, spitting is so disgusting…. i don’t understand how girls think it’s sexy to spit on a guy’s penis when giving head! or how it helps, i never have any trouble…

  6. Trini says:

    Can we stray from spitting on genitals and get back to the topic at hand???
    Shia isn’t well endowed???
    MY WHOLE WORLD JUST CAME CRASHING AROUND ME!!!
    *sobz*

    • Karina in T.O says:

      I know! I know!!! I don’t need to hear that crap! He’s so…..what’s the word I’m looking for here? TASTY! If he’d only keep his trap shut!

  7. ireadtoomuch says:

    If you look on the “older posts” of this website: http://www.backstagepazz.com/ — you’ll find an account of a girl that was with him. I believe she will dispute the stated size of his…whatever lol

  8. stormy says:

    He says he’s not well endowed? Now we all KNOW for sure the the man is packing some humongous peen.

  9. Karina in T.O says:

    Size, shmize…. It’s all eye candy, man.

    http://justjared.buzznet.com/2008/04/28/shia-labeouf-shirtless-coachella/

    Makes me want to act like a cougar……and I’ve still good a good decade before I’m officially part of that club.

  10. Libby says:

    I used to find this man attractive. And now I just think he’s stupid. Why would you announce something like this publicly? Ewww. Not only penis size, but pornstar move? No can do.

  11. mishele says:

    I’d just like to drag that white boy into an alley and take the innocent look off his face, Mwa-ha-ha=ha!

  12. Tako says:

    What a moron.. Attention seeker.. Who gives a shit if he’s got a big penis or not? come on..

  13. rvh says:

    At least he’s not talking about wanting to bang his mom this time.. ugh.

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