Lindsay Lohan Suddenly Realizes That Her Canned Tan Makes Her Look Atrocious
May 1st, 2009 by Wendie
Last night was the Sephora store launch of Lindsay Lohan’s self-tanner, Sevin Nyne. Linds appeared looking as patchy as ever and was joined by an attractive older woman or, you know, Ali Don’t You Know Who I Am? Lohan.
Maybe it’s just me, but if I was charging $35 dollars for what is essentially orange spray paint the face of a revolutionary new tanning product, I’d exfoliate. Or wear pants. My feeling is that Lindsay will be headed off to rehab soon. Do you think they could add a thirteenth step to the program that outlines the importance of sloughing?
Lindsay was just not meant to have a tan. Not from the sun. Not out of an aerosol container. It’s the worst look for her and I encourage her to embrace her porcellaneous epidermis.
And speaking of distancing oneself, which I wasn’t actually speaking of, Harry Morton has denied having dated Lohan back in 2006. Do you remember him? For a while you couldn’t navigate onto any celeb website without seeing pictures of his tongue tapping her vulva uvula. Now he’s told Inked magazine that they were never even a couple. He must be trying to get a job as there is certainly no one out there who cares whether he dated, screwed or exfoliated Lindsay Lohan three years ago. But distancing oneself from Lindsay would be the best career-building strategy at this point. Ali, are you listening?
Before you leave a comment, please make sure you've read our Guide to Commenting. It could save you a great deal of embarrassment.
THE ONLY PICS THAT i CAN SEE FOR THIS MORRON (Harry Morton) ARE WITH LINDSAY.
Her shoes are awful.
They’re the same color as her terrible skin.
Um, if you actually tried the spray you would realize that you’re talking shit, which of course is nothing new . I have bought it and tried it. It doesn’t make you orange and smells great. It’s actually gives you a really natural tan look. By the way it’s also getting great reviews.
She wasn’t as much insulting the product as Lindsay.
This isn’t a product review blog, it’s celebrity gossip.
I’m assuming you knew that when you came here.
if your right then lohan hasn’t been using it!
To be fair I can understand why Linds wears tanner. I suspect that it is not so much because she is pale as clear porcelain skin would be a major selling point for her and looks great, especially with the red hair.
But she has lots of freckles and often resembles an anaemic trout. In fact you could probably play join the dots with her freckles and spell out the names of all of her ex lovers ….. however, it would take quite a while.
Why is she wearing a curtain?
Didn’t she just spend about a week in Hawaii swimming and sunning? That’s probably where she got her tan. Ali looks dreadful. Actually in the one pic they both look like they’re in their late thirties.
Her ‘tan’ looks uneven to me.
You know what I love though? I love Beet & Wendie alternating posts on Lohan. It’s like this good cop / bad cop thing. Mixes it up. One day sympathy one day derision. Keep it up kids.
Wendie, I am a huge fan of your posts on here as well as on your own blog, but there are too many of them on here with certain comments with the line through them. They are funny, it just reminds me too much of stupid Perez Hilton. You are so much better than that.
Oh come one, Oxy. Wendie’s line-throughs are 100 times wittier than Pezzheads!
That should have read “come on”, although “come one” does have a certain ring to it
ALL THIS MESS IS A RESULT OF BADDDD PARENTING.
PS IF I SEE ANOTHER PICTURE IF HER SUCKING ON HER DIRTY FLU FINGER I’M GOING TO BE SICK.
Is it really necessary to wear dresses that short?? I think it is tacky and if my friend tried to wear that with patchy legs I wouldn’t let them go out. Lindsay obviously has no one to tell her that she looks like shit. Real friends know when to tell you when you have made a big mistake. Most around her probably like seeing her look bad. She is amazing looking just needs to dress it properly
she looks absolutely horrible. its sad.
hopefully things get better for her.
What is this anti-freckle thing? Freckles are cute, it’s those scrawny arms that frighten me. They look like they could be snapped in half.