“Pull My Hair Out” video from back in 2004 when Samantha Ronson had hair and body fat.

I feel so bad for people over the age of thirty.  Because really, the past few years of movies, television shows and music are just a rerun of 1960-1990.  And there are no signs that it’s stopping.

Michael Douglas and Oliver Stone are back together again with a sequel to their 1987 hit “Wall Street.”

Douglas is reprising his role as Gordon Gekko and Stone is on board again to direct the sequel, which for now has the working title “Wall Street 2,” said 20th Century Fox spokesman Gregg Brilliant.

Brilliant said the project is timely and relevant given the state of the world.

“We need to keep the story line under wraps, but it’s literally ripped from today’s headlines,” Brilliant said. “It’s going to be very big and very cool.”

With the economy and financial markets in a tailspin, it will be different times for Douglas’ Gekko. In the original film, corporate raider Gekko was a symbol of Wall Street greed and corruption during the boom era of the 1980s.

Gekko has endured because audiences give him the “same kind of respect we’ve got for the great white shark,” Douglas said in an interview Friday with Associated Press Television News for his upcoming life-achievement award from the American Film Institute.

“He’s a villain. Gordon Gekko is a great, old-fashioned villain,” Douglas said. “And, interestingly enough, if you look at most actors’ careers, their biggest achievement, not necessarily success, but (achievement), is playing a bad guy.”

Academy Awards voters agreed. Douglas earned the best-actor Oscar for Gekko.

The sequel is scheduled to start shooting this summer. Edward Pressman, who produced “Wall Street,” also is back for the sequel, while Allan Loeb (”21?) wrote the screenplay.

How many times has this been discussed?  When people are losing their homes and jobs, they want to watch Segway-ing mall cops and movies with entire casts of animals instead of people.  People do not want to go watch a “story literally ripped from today’s headlines.”  People are living that.

If Stone expects this movie to succeed, he better find a way to work some chihuahuas into The Chronicles of Bernie Madoff Wall Street 2.

Evil Beet Gossip is going green today and totally recycling this story as originally reported back in December 2007 when these two crazy kids filed the first time.  They eventually reconciled in April, 2008.

Now here we are.  It’s April, 2009, Robin Wright is still wearing boring black dresses, Sean Penn is still a dick and they still hate each other.  In other words, nothing has changed.

Penn (again!) filed for a legal separation on April 24th.  They have been married for thirteen years and have two sons, Hopper Jack and Dylan Frances.

You know, now that Madonna is single, and every production from the 1980’s is being remade anyway, maybe we can see a Sean and Madonna revival.

It was November 2007 when Prison Break star Lane Garrison was sentenced to forty months in prison for a coke-fueled DUI that left one teen dead and another injured.  Yet he is free today.  I really don’t understand jail math, but his early release has something to do with getting one day off for every day he served or something like that.  Some sort of buy one get one free deal like they have at Payless.

A condition of Lane’s freedom is that he must enter a rehab program.  And really, what better way to catch up with all your Hollywood chums?

Lane, good luck with the reality TV show that you will inevitably participate in.  Let’s hope you can keep your nose clean.  Literally.

Oh, Jon Gosselin, father to many…

Hot on the heels of February’s drunk and cheating Jon Gosselin story with pictures, there is yet another drunk and cheating Jon Gosselin story with pictures.  And before seven hundred and fifty three of you respond with, “That’s not him!” he’s already acknowledged being out at 2 a.m. with his “friend.”

On April 18th, while wife Kate was in Bellevue, Washington peddling her new book Eight Little Faces, Jon Gosselin went to some club called Legends.  Before I go any further, how does a father of eight get to go clubbing?  I have three kids and find it difficult to get to my hairdresser once every ninety days without my darling little encumbrances.  Rant over-back to Jon.  Eyewitnesses at the club say that he arrived at 11:40 and stumbled out a back entrance around 2 a.m.  The term, “could barely walk” was spoken.

Jon was then heard yelling to a woman, “Hey, babe! Babe! Give me my jacket!” before hopping into his Nissan Nismo with aforementioned “Babe.”  Upon being confronted with the flash of cameras, they sped off without turning on their headlights.

As it turns out, Jon was just letting Babe take his unit car for a test drive.  In an emailed statement Jon said, “I went to Legends to speak to the owner. A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car.  Yes, I have female friends — but that is all she is. I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on TV.”

I don’t know what’s going on with the Gosselin union, maybe it is all just innocent, but Jon was also quoted in May’s Ladies Home Journal saying, “I always thought I would be, like, 54 years old and marry a 19-year-old or something.”

Now, if Jon is actually cheating on Kate, she’ll kick his ass out of that $1.3M manse before the next solstice.  I’ve seen her vicious attacks on dust bunnies.  There’s no way she’ll tolerate a cheating husband.  She hardly tolerates a breathing husband.

Ewwwwwww ew and ewwwwwww!

Total scumbag!!!

Just weeks after Mel Gibson’s wife filed for divorce because he’s a cheating asshole loser, he showed up at the LA premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine with his new penis clamp, Oksana Grigorieva, who may or may not be pregnant with his child.

It kind looks like someone pulled a Wolverine on this woman’s face.

I take some comfort in the knowledge that his Robyn is going to walk away from this nonsense with a cool $450 mil. I can only hope she uses a portion of that to put a hit out on her douchebag ex-husband.

Well, I suppose this is one way to put the break-up rumors to rest. Despite being hounded this year by talk that their relationship is crumbling, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick announced today that they’re expecting twin girls, by a surrogate.

The couple, who already have son James Wilkie, 6, announced Tuesday they’re “happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed.”

Sarah is 44 and Matthew is 47, so my guess is that they used a surrogate to avoid fertility treatment and possible complications. Still: What is it with the twins? I know multiple births are a possibility when you’re implanting a bunch of fertilized eggs, but do the odds of multiple births increase somehow when the fertilized eggs belong to someone famous? Are the little spermies all like, “Oooh, hells yeah! If I get born to these people, it’s a life of Ed Hardy T-shirts and doing cocaine off a model’s stomach. I better hurry up and get inside that egg!”? Because that’s sure how it looks to me.

As a side note, if we’re spending all this time and effort implanting eggs in a surrogate’s uterus, could someone take 15 minutes out of their day to implant some hair follicles on Matthew Broderick’s head?