Suri Cruise Is Off to Scientology School!
April 13th, 2009 by Evil Beet
According to this article in the Daily Mail, Suri Cruise will be off to Scientolotot Elementary after she turns three this week. She’s heading to the Scientologist school founded by (closeted) Scientologist Will Smith.
The school is staffed by trained Scientologists and lists ‘study technology’ as a key curricular focus. The children eat a low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet, although something tells me that’s about the only positive thing they’ll be teaching the kids at that school.
Meanwhile, Katie’s reportedly been on a much less nutritious diet, the Purification Rundown that Scientolowives endure before becoming impregnated with their little Xenu babies. The diet –- which consists of herbal drinks and a purification procedure to eliminate toxic substances — is rumored to have left Katie so run-down that she was forced to miss the Oscars. Starvation! Exactly what the medical community recommends prior to pregnancy! Katie’s somehow found the strength to be filming her new movie, The Extra Man, in NYC, but she’ll be heading back to LA soon so that Suri can start school and she can get knocked up. (By some manner of “extra man,” I’d imagine — probably the same one that fathered Suri.)
FREE KATIE!!!
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Can someone explain scientology to me? just the basics. I dont really get what it’s about.
HAHA! my avatar looks like Jessica Alba in those Declare Yourself ads.
It does – thanks for the laugh!! I don’t get Scientology, either.
I have wikipedia’d and google’d it so many times… I still have NO idea what it’s about.
Well it’s very confusing to me but yeah they all believe humans on earth have put “toxins” (or something like that) in their bodies and they must purify themselves through diet and other actions and something about how the human races origins are with aliens… each person has a different level of toxins and they get a rating so there is like centers to test your toxin levels…weird stuff
a failed science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard (think star trek) was quoted in a 1980 Readers Digest “If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion”.. This is a ‘religion’ where you have to contribute a specified amount of money to be taught the meaning of live. Enough said
* the meaning of life
I mentioned this a couple of times before, USING A BABY IN THE GOSSIP COLUMNS… REAL ”BAD IDEA! AND TO USE HER NAME IN THE CAPTION/TITLE REAL BAD IDEA. SHE’S JUST A BABY. SO MUCH POOR TASTE.
The look on Suri’s face seems to say to the world, that she well aware that her parents are insane.
Has anyone else noticed that she looks REALLY unhappy in almost EVERY picture published of her?
This is going to end badly; I think everybody knows where this is going, Katie will suffer because TOm is a gay fanatic freak, well, she is already suffering. Does believes, does diets, they are just crazy. The worst thing is that she is not strong enough to fight it/him beacuse if she does, Tom has the power and the money to take their child away from her.
she always looks like a jaundiced mannequin.
Scientologists are nuts as are most religious fanatics. Watch Bill Mahr’s new documentary “Religulous”. It is hilarious and so true.
I don’t feel sorry for Katie. She is filthy stinking rich and she is loving it. If she is starving herself to get pregnant, then she’s a retard.
that whole family looks like they’re made of wax.
I agree: Tom Cruise is a freak, Suri looks unhappy in most pictures, as does her mother, but she made her bed. However, the reason Katie missed the Oscars is that it was on the same night as the last show of “All My Sons” in New York. She made it to the after-parties.
katie and tom look like stepford wives…totally creepy and artifical…