Caption This. I Think It’s The Least You Could Do For Me.
April 8th, 2009 by Wendie
Mischa Barton in the Spring 2009 edition of the magazine you’ve never heard of, Genlux. To give you an idea of the target audience, per their website, they are “the only luxury fashion and beauty magazine created expressly for today’s affluent Southern California woman.”
Now, caption it, bitches. You owe me.
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Dude: “Why is she forcing me to smell her vagina?! It’s fishy! Wait, maybe if I breathe with my mouth instead of through my nose I won’t be able to smell it. Yes, success!”
I said nonfat milk in my latte!!!!
Now, breathe in my death vapors, maggot!!
If I play dead, maybe she won’t bite my head off after sex.
Come along slave, I really need to get a better dog collar.
Mischa(struggling): See…how much the boys love me? can’t get…him away from me….(pulls on tie, whining) c’mon, you said you’d do this for 100 bucks.
Poor Hapless dude: oh god, kill me.
“Eat me!!! I said EAT ME dammit!”
Love it! That is the only thought that came into my mind!
The extremes mischa will go to to get her snapper licked, i mean uh… snapped by the paparazzi
“But mischa please stop!” “I don’t care that your butter face broke my camera!” “Just stop forcing me between your thighs” “It feels like a gumboot full of porridge!”
Say it! Say it! “I will never publish a photo of you looking like a raccoon again” Say it!
“micha rapes and takes photos of innocent business man”
“I’m a sexy girl on the cover of GENLUX, bitches!!! Jealous!?”
HELP!!! Mischa’s monster snatch is trying to eat me!!!! Quick, somebody get the shark repellent……
“I WILL have a career damn it, and you’re going to help me!”
LOL I like yours the best
“Okay, fine! I do recognize you from the O.C.! Let me get on my way to the water cooler…yes… you’re hotter than a water cooler? Are we done yet??”
look at me! i’m totally high fashion. i can pin a guy down, yank on his tie, take a photo of him with my fab camera, and pose for this shoot all at once! because i’m mischa barton.
Know we know what it takes for Mischa to get a photo of a “friend” on her MySpace page!
I like yours the best def.
“Fuck me now or I will queef in your face! Okay, I will give you $20 if I can give you a blow job.”
If only I had photoshop at work and a side shot of Wendie and we would have yesterdays ‘200 word article’ in photo format…
Mischa Barton forced to wear tasteful clothes. Savages reporter who photographed the once-in-a-lifetime event. Demands cocaine and headband.
haaaahaa
Look, I’m THE Queefa Farton, so never mind “No” – I need a photo of you sniffing my bad stuff for the next cover of GENFUX
Is this your way of punishing us for you having to write what you like about Mischa? Having a story about her be the only one for the day??
M: ” ‘You are beautiful Misha’, say it! “, Guy: “Uhh, I…uhh…my momma taught me not to lie, miss!”.
:))))))
~LIA~
“Mischa attempts to resuscitate career by strangling others.”
Misha’s thinking: So, maybe if I kill someone on the cover of a unknown magazine, I’ll be famous again!
Ok, that was lame :( But I least I tried! Im the freak who tweeted you last night saying how beautiful your kids are :].
xoxo!
MENFUX
“I’m going to take this picture, see, and then, I’m going to show it to you, to prove why I’m going to kill you. I cannot suffer people who are prettier than me.”
“Suck my overpriced rag, bitch boy!
I like mine strangled, not stirred.
lisa jane leave him alone
is it just me or is that a guy who was on the VH1 show Tool Academy? it kinda looks like one of them named Tommy.
See, I can get a man?! See???! HA!
“I wish I’d worn a skirt.”
I am an affluent Southern California woman. That means I only owe a few (hundred thousand) bucks more than my house is worth.