Let’s talk about Kanye West’s new girlfriend, Amber Rose, who accompanied Kanye for some shopping and lunch on Sunset today.

I can’t even tell you how jealous I am of this look.

I wish I could wander around LA in February wearing a see-through half-tank with no bra, faux denim hot pants and fuck-me heels. And don’t forget the cigarette!

What a radical departure from social norms, Amber! You’re so awesome. I wish I had the guts to show up at uber-expensive restaurants looking like I just finished my hooking gig at the trailer park. Looking respectable is so passe. You are totally the future of fashion … at the Bunny Ranch. Airforce Amy is going to take a break from blowing lines to call Kmart and see if they have those heels in stock. That’s the kind of trend-setter you are.

Holy shit!

Teri Hatcher looks like she ate at some point this year!!

She’s still quite slender, but I’m finally not afraid she’s going to snap in half. This is a much better look for her. She has curves and tone and definition. She looks like a woman and not a pre-pubescent boy. Whatever she’s doing, I hope she keeps at it.

At a benefit for the Lou Ruzo Center in Las Vegas.

At the Cesar Awards in Paris on Saturday.

This is VERY scary stuff! A former Miss North Dakota — and a Miss USA top-ten finalist — has been detained in Iran for almost a whole month after being arrested for buying wine, which is illegal in the Islamic Republic.

Roxana Saberi, 31, has not been heard from since her last call on Feb. 10, her father, Reza, told The Associated Press on Sunday.

“We haven’t heard anything,” he said. The family decided to go public, he said, “because we wanted to get some information.”

Officials in Iran have not publicly confirmed the arrest. A duty officer at the U.S. State Department said Sunday officials were looking into an AP request for information on the case.

Roxana was working in Iran as a journalist for NPR and was planning to write a book about the country. NPR said Iran revoked her press credentials more than a year ago but apparently let her report short news stories.

Our thoughts and prayers are with Roxana. Get home safe, girl!

So LC was paid a shitload of cash to “write” a “novel,” and here’s your first look at the cover art for L.A. Candy.

Wanna hear about the “plot”?

Conrad’s publishing debut is a fictional story about a 19-year-old girl named Jane Roberts who has not-so-subtle similarities to the author.

“Roberts can’t wait to start living it up,” the official book synopsis says. “She may be in L.A. for an internship, but Jane plans to play as hard as she works and has enlisted her BFF Scarlett to join in the fun.”

In the novel, the two main characters are approached by a producer who wants them to be on a reality version of Sexy [sic?] and the City.

The book is about “what it’s like to come of age in Hollywood while starring in a reality TV show, written by a girl who has experienced it all firsthand,” the synopsis says.

Yeah I’m sure Lauren wrote every damn word of this herself.

Coming soon: My “novel” about a fictional character named Shnevil Tweet who writes a celebrity gossip “plog” and is very jealous of the star of a reality TV show called The Lumps because there are lots of very talented writers out there dying to get a publishing deal and this girl lands one just by getting drunk and accusing all her best friends of betraying her for six years straight.

I know that by now you’ve been inundated with the ‘Chris Brown vs Rihanna vs the World’ controversy, but this kid keeps making an ass of himself. He’s out partying, showing absolutely no signs of remorse, and just generally being an asshole. 

He stepped out in Miami to attend a party being thrown by Young Jeezy  in the Gansevoort South hotel. Rihanna was nowhere to be found.

 

“He walked in and didn’t try to hide,” an eyewitness told RadarOnline.com. “Some people looked shocked he was there and he seemed to love the attention.”

He hung out at the pool until around 7:30 p.m. and no mention of Rihanna was made near him.

 

I don’t care if you didn’t sign up to be a role model – I believe that people need to pay more attention to raising their own kids, and less to what celebs are doing. But how much of a douchetard does one have to be to NOT understand that going out in public (to a PARTY no less) is just in bad taste -especially when details about blood being found in the car where you brutalized your girlfriend are being leaked to the press?

First she’s hanging out at the IHOP at 5am and making citizen arrests and now she’s gettin her poker face on at The 7th Annual World Poker Tour Invitational.

Who is this person? 

Also at the Invitational were the likes of Benji Madden, Jennifer Tilly, Shanna Moakler, Don Cheadle (whom inexplicably appears to be wearing a turtleneck), William Hung (nice to see he’s still getting invitations) and Daniel Baldwin. Mandatory positive: Daniel has very pretty eyes.