Oooooooomg.

Who wants to have sex with Anne Hathaway?

I do! I do!

Hot, hot, hot.

“I don’t owe anybody my side of the story.There are no sides! There is no bad guy and there is no good guy.  There are no villains and there is no heroine in this story.”

Jennifer Aniston in April’s issue of Elle UK discussing how she isn’t going to talk about her split from Brad.  Which I find ironic since I feel like she is always talking about her “husband.”

Advice to Jen?  If you don’t feel that you owe anyone your side of the story, stop sharing your side of the story with everyone.

Katie Holmes is the cover girl on April’s issue of Glamour.  She shares all the crap about her life that no one is interested in learning about.

Regarding the actresses she idolizes, she inexplicably mentioned Audrey Hepburn in the same sentence as Julia Roberts:

Growing up, I always had my dreams set on being an actor, so I looked up to Julia Roberts, Audrey Hepburn. I also look up to Kate Winslet and Renée [Zellweger] and Cate Blanchett…and Diane Keaton—she’s a genius.

On a day living in an imprisoning compound in her life:

We like to be together, so we use the house for our [business] meetings. [We] play Yahtzee, board games, Scrabble. We grill; have pool parties. We play “The Three Little Pigs” and Suri is the Big Bad Wolf. [Tom] reads story books to Suri and we all laugh. When a good song comes on, he’ll break into dance. We’ll watch movies in bed—recently Madagascar and Cinderella, for Suri. We have a really good time.

On vowing to marry Tom.  Oh, and when she said “fun,” she meant “malleable.”

When Top Gun came out my sisters were like, ‘Oh, my God, Top Gun! Tom Cruise!’ And I very confidently said, ‘I’m going to marry him one day.’ It wasn’t like, How do I get Tom Cruise? It was just: I think I’m going to marry him. Why not? He’ll like me. I’m fun.

Comedy Central’s The Sarah Silverman Project needs a bailout.  The executive producers of the show, one of which is Silverman, were informed that the budget for season three would be cut by more than twenty percent.  Hey, welcome to my world.

Anyway, they have threatened to quit, which would effectively end the show.  Apparently a typical budget for a one-camera is $1.5-2M per episode and they have been producing TSSP for $1.1 per show.  So yeah, being cut to $850,000 is tough-I guess.  Honestly, I know nothing about television production operational costs.  It just flummoxes me that it costs over a million dollars to produce twenty-two quality minutes of Silverman amusing the masses.  Of course, I also don’t understand people who pay $200 to go to a concert, so I may not be the best judge.

The EPs and Comedy Central are at a stand-off but talks are set to resume this week.

Totally unrelated, I have to pay Sarah Silverman a compliment.  There is something about her that looks infinitely inappropriate in a dress-like Amy Winehouse at an AA meeting, it just never looks right.  But you know what?  She never stops trying.  I appreciate her persistence.

Listen, this Chris Brown and Rihanna deal is played out at this point.  There are only so many ways to say it:  Chris is a scum.  Rihanna needs to run.  End of story.  But…

Who are these PR people Chris hired to help salvage his reputation?  Because they need to be fired, yesterday.  The half-assed non-statment, the phallic jet-skiing poses, the reconciliation with Rihanna-any decent public relations firm would not be letting this shit happen.  The only element that gives me a small sigh of relief is that Brown was not seen partying this weekend; it was a look-alike.  Poor bastard, being a Chris Brown ringer.

Chris is not only working to win back his victim, he is also in Miami recording for his newest album which, I suspect, will have anorexic airplay.

If Chris Brown was some anonymous warehouse worker, is there any doubt he would be in jail right now?

Amy Winehouse finally left St. Lucia and returned to Britain so she could check out her new digs.  Whilst she’s been away, a new house in North London has been set up for her in a continued effort to get her in a better environment.  Neighbors are not pleased that there is a new beehive in town.  One neighbor, upon hearing the news of Amy’s arrival, was quoted saying, “House prices have fallen enough without Amy Winehouse taking up residence.”  The people in her new neighborhood will never be able to sell their homes.  Amy Winehouse is an epic liability.

Not only is Winehouse an impossible neighbor, she’s even a pain in the ass at 30,000 feet.  On the flight from St. Lucia back to London, she attacked a fellow passenger that she suspected was committing the unforgivable sin of  looking at her strangely.  I don’t know what that bastard was thinking, glancing in her direction like that.  Winehouse jumped on the dude and had to be pulled off of him.

In conclusion, St. Lucia doesn’t want Amy.  North London doesn’t want Amy.  Every major airline doesn’t want Amy.

My Fave. Z-lister. Evah, Ranae Shrider, attended the Mardi Gras party at the Playboy mansion, and posted a bunch of pics of Hef with his new girlfriends on her Facebook page. Man, the twins sure do look bored and stoned. And the third girl just looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet.

I also included some pics of Ranae as a thank you. She’s always had a rockin’ bod, but her new face looks damn good! Thank GOD someone in LA found a decent plastic surgeon.