The ‘A’ in A-Rod Stands for Asshole
March 22nd, 2009 by Kelly
Alex likes the whores
After I mentioned that I’m a sports fan, someone requested more gossip on sports celebrities, specifically hockey players. But until Sean Avery fucks up again, or puts out another video of him shopping for womens’ handbags, you’ll just have to satiate yourself by reading about the latest major league baseball player to shove the great American pastime even further into a needle-filled toilet.
It seems doing copious amounts of nut-shrivelling magic muscle juice just wasn’t enough for Alex Rodriguez. While he was pounding the roids, he was also pounding the whores.
Kristin Davis, the New York pimp who also tattled on Governor Eliot Spitzer, reports that A-Rod became a regular client after he tried (and failed) to pick her up at a gym. He bunted a few balls at some of her whores, then sent Davis a few pathetic attempts at flirting via email:
Rodriguez: “Thanks for setting me up with Samantha. She was gorgeous. But she is not you. When can I see you you are gorgeous . . .”
Davis: “Hi Alex. You don’t want to see me. I’m no fun. lol. Just because your (sic) so sweet, here are some pics of me and I appreciate the compliments. Your (sic) a doll. Thanks, Kristin”
Rodriguez: “You have been playing hard to get for a year now, your (sic) killing me.”
Davis: “It’s not playing I am hard to get. Maybe you should try harder.”
Rodriguez: “Kristin, I definitely will and I love the pics. I put the one on my cell so I can look at you all the time. Alex.”
Davis: “You are too sweet. I’ll let you know when I get someone you like.”
So just how long do you think it’ll be before he claims sex addiction?
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Either they’re both retarded spellers or this is the same person.
Notice how they BOTH used the wrong spelling of you’re.
She’s just mad cause she’s out of the limelight now…
Are you talking about the writting in pink? That’s not her. That’s from the Madams email.
LOTS of people write your instead of you’re. I know this because it drives me INSANE.
Kelly…you have had a killer first weekend. You crack me up with your imaginative funny descriptions of the world we call gossip. You have made many laughs happen for me and others…Thanks!
Oh, and I must say the stitching in A-holes jacket is amazing.
Kelly – I love your writing and will be looking forward to your weekend posts!
ugh, I can’t believe I used to like him. Like, back in the ’90’s when he played for the Seattle Mariners and my dad was teaching me how to play baseball in the basement.
It’s so easy to talk about hockey players… they just do the most insane things.
If you can bring us a few of their transgressions here, I will officially be a Kelly-ist.
I already love you, you’re going for the gold here eh?
most men have whore fascination
some of them are not gutsy enough to go to them
others cannot afford them
this is no surprise, really
I looked the madam up on google images. Blerggh.
I agree with everyone in regards to you, Kelly! I already look forward to your posts after one weekend. You’re a huge improvement.
:)
here is a grammar question about his post. What the hell does (sic) mean? I missed most of my elementary education
It is used after a word or phrase that seems to be wrongly spelled or not accurate, in order to show that it was quoted accurately.
The sign said ‘Skool (sic) starts at 9am.’
The (sic) shows that the word ’skool’ is incorrectly spelled and you don’t want anyone to think that you spelled it wrongly.
yep, it’s the exact quote
meaning it’s not an error made by Kelly, in this particular case
Especially after the earlier post….you’re/your wouldn’t be missed twice in a proof.
A-Rod is all you’res (sic) and SICK!!
It means the original quote had grammar problems and then someone corrected it to make it readable.
no :) it means literally, just like Grandizer said.
Speaking as a man, most men like strange…
If you haven’t had it, you want it.
You wonder if she works it differently than someone else works it.
You want to increase your own self importance by thinking how easy it is for you to get some women to eff you in the shortest amount of time
and effort on your part.
You use it to gauge how famous you are by the # of women that come up to you to ask for sex.
You then call other people in your position and tell them what places and how many people you scored there…
Not all men are like that though. These fools do make it harder for us real men though…
And those women don’t make it any easier for us either.
I guess I know what you mean
and I guess it follows my theory in its own way
for instance:
why would a guy, who has all kinds of sex he wants at home, and says he has a movie kind of sex life, have interest in strippers, or girlie bars or even watch porn movies??
that’s probably men’s nature, and I don’t want it to read judgmental or something,
I just mean you gotta live life not caring much about such stuff
and its consequences
:)
niiiiice…bring on the athlete gossip…
and AWESOME dig at AVERY….Kelly I think I’m in love…
I like to think I was the commenter who whined for more hockey gossip. I know some, so i’m sure u know some Kelly…and not about Mr. “sloppy seconds” avery…
Anyways….great job writing Kelly! :)
A-Roid:…But I’m all man…Madonna can tell you
Davis: Yeah, well…I had a talk with Vadge…I mean Madge and she said,
A-Roid: That I’m all that…Right?
Davis: Weeellll…
A-Roid: Well what? U R killing me here!
Davis: Weeelll…She said your little winky is even littler from the stuff you took…I think you need to try harder…
A-Roid: It is hard! Can’t you tell by the pics? And I’ve got these new pills…
Davis: Sweet but…I’ll let you know when I find someone like you who swings a bigger…Bat.
I guess I can understand Davis’s hesitation, because I wouldn’t want to sleep with A-Rod for money, either.