What Paris Hilton Needs Is Another Fucking Dog
March 9th, 2009 by Evil Beet
So thank goodness her new boyfriend, Douche Reinhardt, got her a baby teacup Pomeranian for her 28th birthday, in addition to a bunch of other shit she’ll just end up dumping on the household help.
“He probably got me more presents than any guy ever,” she said in Las Vegas before a belated birthday celebration Saturday at the Hard Rock Hotel’s Body English. “He’s sweet.”
That’s right, Paris. The older you get, the more men just naturally assume your affections are something to be bought. You’ve grown into that “I’m kind of a whore” vibe so effortlessly.
Anyway, Paris and Doug sucked face all over Vegas this weekend in celebration of P-Dog getting a full year less relevant. Here are some pics from her most recent party, at Body English at the Hard Rock. Ya know what’s funny? Back in the day, a Paris Hilton birthday party would have more A-list celebs in attendance than Paris could count on her labia folds. But this weekend? Pretty much just Paris and The Douche. Que triste!
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Can’t the SPCA put together a special SWAT task force or something and raid that bitch’s house and emancipate all the poor VICTIMS she has??? I mean come on!! Don’t shows like Animal Cops go to people’s homes and take the abused animals??? Having Paris as an owner HAS to qualify as abuse…
I misread that as TWAT task force. lol.
…and God dammit, why can’t she fix that wonky eye!
I can’t believe she’s almost 30 and still acts as a teenager
Since it isn’t clear if Paris will age well or not, I say we all stop talking about her, writing about her, or thinking about her for forty years. Then, we all get back together, right here, and find out how she turned out.
She’s got a new dog; Do(u)g.
!Ohhhh, burn!
I have the perfect plan! Paris should bail out Michael Jackson, and buy Neverland Ranch! Then she could have all the room she needs to properly house all her pets, and she can just stay in that compound riding rides and petting her animals and throwing carnival parties all day that we would never have to hear from her again! Perfect.
If you notice in just about EVERY picture taken of these two, he acts like he’s making love to the camera lens! Seriously, this guy cannot get enough of his picture taken, which is why he’s probably with Paris, they equally love the superficial attention they get from the Paparazzi. He’s a douche and she’s a ditz, so together they can admire eachother’s beauty and talk about nothing of substance!
i followed the link, and dude! how did u not do something with that last quote: “She’s amazing, both inside and out”.Theres gotta be a vagina joke in there some where.
She’s only 28, geez!!
for as much as i don’t like her, this is one of the only times what she’s doing is completely boring. it’s not even fun to make fun of her. she needs to come out with some bizarre addiction, like inhaling compressed air in a can. did anyone else see that intervention? it was awesome….
“Back in the day, a Paris Hilton birthday party would have more A-list celebs in attendance than Paris could count on her labia folds”
Best. line. EVER.
I love you Beet.
I just LOVE her necklace. Can’t see anything else.
Please reflect:
http://www.digitalspy.com/showbiz/a149146/hilton-boyfriend-exposes-lip-synching.html
They were made for each other!
How about instead of dropping a few grand on some yappy little thing, you go out and ADOPT a dog.
You should be so lucky to be one of her dogs, Are you kidding she takes better care of all those dogs than people take care of their own kids. So unless you have any proof otherwise Shut the F- – - Up ! Bunch of losers who have nothing better to do than bitch at every one. Get a life losers.