Rock of Douches
March 4th, 2009 by Evil Beet
Idol castoff Constantine Maroulis has a leading role in an upcoming Broadway musical called Rock of Ages, which begins previews March 17, and they let photographers into their rehearsals this week to start creating some buzz. You can learn more about the show here — it’s a love story set to the most famous rock songs of the ’80s — and reviews have been very positive so far. To be honest, it looks like a great show, but I just don’t think Constantine and his co-star, Amy Spanger, could possibly look any more douche-y in these pictures. It’s just a douche extravaganza. “Don’t Stop Douching.” “Here I Douche Again on My Own.” “Wanted: Douche or Alive.”
I could keep going, ya know.
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I have taken the time to ready your “guide to commenting” and I do believe my comments will qualify for publishing. Constantine and Amy are not douches. They are wonderful artists with powerful, melodic voices. Rock of Ages is by no means a “douch extravaganza”. It was wonderful off-Broadway and will be even better on Broadway! Go Constantine & Amy! Rock our Socks off!!
Wow. Hey, I hear Barry Manilow is touring, too. “Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without douching…”
“Well you kissed me and stopped me from douching….”
gold!
Are you Constantine’s dad or something?
He’s so smarmy and she looks bruised.
“Evvvvery douche has its thorn.”
What’s with Broadway casting this butt-ugly talentless hacks?
He totally looks like Gary Sinise!
Love the Douche titles, Beet!
Rock Of Ages is an amazing show! If you are in NYC and don’t see the show, it would be a missed opportunity for a great time. Seriously. The show is hysterically funny as it pokes good humor fun at the rock music of the late 80’s – it’s fast moving with wailing guitars and wailing vocals, as well as lots of heart.
And yes, Constantine is the lead character. He has that role for a reason. And it’s not because he’s a douchebag. LOL He will knock your freakin socks off! Trust me.
This is nothing but a good time!! And nothing like you’ve ever seen on the Broadway stage. This show can single handedly make Broadway cool again…. :)
I smell a fantard. He couldn’t sing for shit on idol.
Does it smell like smegma?
who is this? you sound like you work for marketing or something. “single handedly make broadway cool again”… who talks like that? and broadway never lost its cool. In the Heights is the shit.
I think you are over douching. This is not healthy.
I agree the pictures could be better but the off Broadway show was actually fun. Wish I could see the Broadway version.
This is ground control to Major Douche… lol
In this economy to get paid to be in a douche extravaganza- more power to them. How many others wish they were in the same situation. Call it what you want- they’re working. &I’ll go see it, it looks like fun.
I do the internet marketing for this show; this post is hilarious. Some serious fans are all up on it!
Yeah, the pic didn’t come out as non-douchey as we wanted, but still…, Sasha, you will have to come as my guest and see it for yourself. Just shoot me an email at jglaub@gmail.com and I will hook it up. You’ll melt to the doucherrific songs and douchetastic dance numbers.
Here is the list of 80s songs you will see in the show:
The Douche is Over
Nothin’ but a Good Douche
I Douche Myself for Lovin’ you
We’re Not Gunna Douche it
and the classic
Hit Me with your Best Douche
Douche.
It looks like a cross between Airheads & The Pick of Destiny
every country has its own corny stuff
Not only is this douche on Broadway, but the girl who sells his merchandise at his shows is Jamie on VH1 Rock of Love bus. Jamie got that job by bending over the sink. I would get my shots first before going to that ROA show!
Dont listen to Heatherette. She is jealous of Jamie because of her fame. Constantine forgot about you years ago.
Did Jamie get pregnant with nine babies? That’s the only way I can see that she should be mentioned in this highly intelligent discourse. Jamie who?
Look! A lightening bug!