Penance
March 4th, 2009 by WendieNow see? This is what I like to see. Rob Van Winkle, or Vanilla Ice, apologizing for the fuckery he spewed all over the pop culture of 1990. I graduated high school the same year, let me do the math for you-I’m 37 this year, and this horrible Queen/David Bowie rip-off will forever be intrinsically tied to my every memory of acid wash and prom. Sadly, he did not apologize for having striped eyebrows or for beating the shit out of his wife. Oh well. Baby steps; I’m working on forgiveness.
Other celebrity apologies I feel we are owed-and feel free to add your own:
1) Lil’ Kim for her face.
2) The entire cast of Ocean’s Twelve for Ocean’s Twelve.
3) The Olsen twins for charging $1700 for a pair of pants from their collection, The Row.
4) Scarlett Johansson for singing.
5) Oprah Winfrey for every single word that has ever come out of her mouth. Hey, did I mention I set up an “I hate Oprah” group on Facebook?
Thanks Ignatius!
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Wendie have a I ever told you how much I love you?
I am off to join your Oprah group right now and put it on my page so that everyone I know will join it and so it will piss off my “oprah is practically god” friends.
I agree with a) how great Wendie is and b) an anti-Oprah club! Can’t. Stand. Her.
WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. beet i thought you were 26???? you cannot be 37. there is no fucking way you are almost FORTY.
ok. i will be the first to say it. i am a retarded sack of shit. i didn’t realize wendie wrote this. now i am not surprised. now i am calm knowing that beet ist 37.
No way! Every time I hear the beginning of Queen’s ‘Under Pressure’ I secretly hope that it’s going to be Vanilla Ice! Get on board, that song was awesome!
I disagree with you on the Oceans 12, Wendie. The plot sucked, but who needs a plot when you have both George & Brad all decked out in suites & ties? How could you even pay attention to the plot anyways? Total hotness! No apologies needed for the eye candy! I hope they make another one just so I can pause & stare.
Wow you must feel very powerful and Godlike to make these wiser judgements?!
First off, Wendie your too funny. I too am going to join your “hate Oprah” group! I bet by the end of all these posts your going to have a long list of things that needed to righted.Anyone remember the 90’s??!!
are u guys really serious about the hating oprah thing…..cuz i loveeee oprah!
Of course they’re not serious! How could anyone possibly disagree with you?
I don’t care about Oprah, but I like Scarlett’s album.
Why on earth would anyone hate Oprah, she’s so generous and genuine. Seriously Wendie, get a life. How old are you that you have a facebook group dedicated to hating a successful hardworking woman? That is something I wouldn’t even have done in my first year of university and there are a lot of celebs that grate on my nerves, but Im an adult and im not going to dedicate my time to a group about bashing them. That is honestly pathetic. If I had the time energy or interest maybe I would create an “I hate wendy with an IE” group because of all the fuckery that you spew, but you’re not successful, wealthy or famous so no one would even know who you are.
Why would anyone hate Oprah? Because she’s so sanctimoniuos and full of herself maybe?
I hate Oprah almost as much as I hate Rachael Ray.
Oprah “Holier than thou” makes me sick! And yes, slouchy, just like Rachael Ray.
Ahhhhahahahaha!! DarkEmpress that isn’t exactly a mature response. Matter of fact that’s kinda up there with “I knoooow you are but whaaaat am I”….
i have never gotten the vibe that Oprah is sanctimonious and preaches to people. If anything she always says that she has made the same mistakes as them and that she wants to learn from them. For everyone who has gained weight that she tries to help loose weight she tells them she is fighting the same battle. She has been depressed about being sexually abused, she has had problems with spending, she has been in relationships with men who used her and treated her badly. I dont think there is anything that she gives advice on that she hasnt experienced herself. Most of the time on her shows she has experts giving out advice and she is asking the questions. I feel like people think it is a sin to be successful and confident. i think women like her are role models.
Gayle? Is that you??
Wendie I love you! It’s funny that DE thinks you should “get a life” when your job entails writing stuff that she enjoys reading (as is, gossip blog material). At least Wendie is getting paid to bitch. DE. You are giving it away for free.
Oh and I seriously thought, from your pics, that you were at least a decade younger.
Agreed WHOLEHEARTEDLY Dark Empress!
What a sack of shit. “I hate Oprah”… for a 37 year old, you’re really immature Wendie. I hope you don’t have kids or anything. ‘Stupid’ might be genetic and we can’t have anymore of you walking around.
I am thinking of making an I hate Wendie group on facebook because you are so mean and bitter and I hate reading your post. Every post you make is just dripping with bitterness.
I’m thinking that both Wendie and GreyEyes have some low blood sugar issues. Tangerines are on sale, you guys!
ignore the haters, wendie. your writing style and your dislikes are a-ok with me. and oprah sucks!!
I enjoy reading this site because of you and Beet. Your blog is the best thing to read…evah. I get your humor and thouroughly enjoy it. So… thank you.
Let’s not forget Kanye West for his assault on my ears and generalized assholishness.
Remember when Rob was on The Surreal Life and the whole gang went to a karaoke bar and he got ALL bent out of shape when some girls sang “Ice Ice Baby”?
Glad he’s finally found a sense of humor.
> “beating the shit out of his wife. ”
Did he? According to the link he only shoved her. There is a world of difference.
Not defending him or saying it was acceptable in any way.
Can you like BOTH Wendie and Oprah? Or is that impossible?
I like Oprah – I loved her in ‘The Colour Purple’, the book being one I discussed in my thesis. I think she has done much good in the world, certainly more than myself.
Agreed! I have never felt like she is “full of herself” or any of that nonsense. I will say that her give-a-way shows are ANNOYING! That aside, she is good through and through and if she put her stamp on this blog, well, let’s just say Wendie and Beet would be set for life. That woman has super-powers! haha.
I fucking HATE seeing your avatar. It’s ugly as sin.
Wow
that
sucks!
I would like apologies from the following:
1) Madonna for losing her Justify My Love sexiness and doing that Frozen video which led to several more horrible videos
2) Britney Spears for doing so many songs where she says she isn’t a little girl anymore
3) Paris Hilton for… everything she does
4) Angelina Jolie for making the same female assassin movie over and over again
5) Richard Gere for aging and not being Zach Mayo for life
Oh alright, I can’t blame Richard for that…
I could go on and on…