I’m not sure what’s going on in Tokyo this week, but both Paris Hilton and Kristen “Ungrateful Bitch” Stewart landed in Narita today.

Who looked better after the long flight???

LOL!

This is such a great story! Jeremy Piven is in DEEP SHIT for dropping out of his Broadway play, Speed the Plow, due to “mercury poisoning” from too much sushi. Now he has to actually go and stand trial before the Actors’ Equity union to defend himself.

The producers of “Speed-the-Plow” brought Piven up on charges with Equity, arguing that his abrupt departure in December from the $3.5 million production wreaked havoc with their recoupment schedule.

Piven will appear before a committee of five actors and five producers. He is expected to brandish the results of a blood test given to him by his doctor, and will likely give a blow-by-blow account of his illness during the show.

He called several prominent actors on his own and begged them to replace him, sources said. He was also overheard telling people backstage that he was “bored out of his mind” in the show.

The producers also have a record of where Piven’s car and driver took him after performances, sources say.

Although Piven claimed he was so ill that he often went home after the show, sources say the log shows that he spent many nights out on the town. The producers will also point out that in the past, many ailing stars have taken a leave of absence from a show but have returned when they felt better. “Unless it’s a life-or-death situation, you usually find a temporary replacement and then negotiate a return,” said a producer not involved with “Speed-the-Plow.”

Jeremy is expected to appear in person for the hearing in Manhattan tomorrow. “It’s my understanding that he’ll be there – unless he has too much sushi on the plane from LA,” joked a person involved in the proceedings.

Ha!

Everyone is WAY PISSED at Jeremy about this shit. “I don’t think many theater actors are in favor of what he’s doing,” a veteran producer said. “They take jobs on Broadway very seriously, and he’s a Hollywood actor, behaving like one.”

If he loses at this hearing, he’ll be stripped of his Equity membership (but he’ll still have his SAG membership, so it won’t impact his film or TV work), and the show’s producers can take him to civil court and sue his brains out.

WOW!!

Do NOT fuck with a Broadway show, you guys!!!

Yesterday, I was watching the new Hills trailer with Film.com’s incomparable TV editor and my fellow reality TV junkie, Pamela Sitt. “I think this is the last season,” said Pamela, as we both stared, gaping, at the footage of Lauren and Heidi crying and hugging and Spencer getting into a bar fight. “It feels like they’re winding down.”

“I imagine they are,” I told her. “I can’t believe Lauren Conrad’s willing to do this shit much longer.”

And now we have confirmation — this will be the last season of The Hills. Lauren is calling it quits, she tells Seventeen magazine in a recent interview. “My biggest thing with the show was that I wanted to walk away from it while it’s still a great thing,” she explains. “I always want to remember it that way. I gave MTV a deadline and said, ‘This is as long as I can do it and stay sane.’”

Good for LC! She always did have a good head on her shoulders, that girl. But Lauren’s been on our television sets since she was 17 — is she really ready to walk away from all that? Or will she find a way to show up every week on Spencer and Heidi’s inevitable spinoff, The Assholes?

Here’s a little clip of Samantha Ronson performing a live acoustic set last night in LA at Genghis Cohen.

Sam got “awwwws” from the crowd when she told ‘em “This is for Lindsay,” but the song included lyrics like “I’ll follow you out of control … I’m falling after you, in and out of love.” In her dedication Sam also said, “You get your heart broken sometimes and then you unbreak it and break it again.”

Lindsay was apparently sitting in the front row with a digital camera — and she said the song made her mad. Sigh.

Most importantly, though — can we get Simon Cowell to weigh in on Samantha’s vocal skills? Because she definitely would not have made it to Hollywood.

Thanks Anna!

Just guess.

Think reeeeeeal hard.

Then jump in for the answer — and the drama!

(more…)

Okay, okay, so it’s probably not going to happen, BUT …

Vivid Entertainment, one of the top adult film producers in the country, has officially offered Nadya Suleman $1M to get naked for them.

Do you think they’d make her have a shitload of plastic surgery first??? I mean, she is not exactly super fit right now, after carrying eight babies around inside her. Or are they just betting that people would buy it for the freak factor?

Or, more likely, they know she’ll pass, they just want the publicity …

BUT WHAT IF SHE SAID YES??? You never know with this crazy bitch. If only Angelina had a sex tape, then she’d be doing it for sure!

First off, I would like to say that I hope the President’s little talk was DAMN good last night, because I was all excited for Idol and THEN IT WASN’T ON. Total devastation. How could they just move my favorite television show without sending out a mass email to the whole country and asking if it was okay? Nobody thinks about my needs anymore.

But my little Idol obsession, Joanna Pacitti — who’s not even on the show anymore, due to ineligibility — is already proving to be the most famous Idol so far this season! She stepped out at the Jonas Brothers’ movie premiere last night with her new boyfriend: Dancing with the Stars‘ Mark Ballas!

“She is the most supportive person in my life and she’s been great,” said Mark. “We get to spend a lot of time together [and] we do pretty much everything together.”

Said Joanna: “We both get each other and understand schedules and even on a musical level, I’ve never met someone that’s so passionate about music … that’s what I live for, so it’s amazing to be with someone who gets it.”

And as for Idol? Joanna says she has no hard feelings. “I actually had an amazing time on the show and I met some amazing friends…Everything happens for a reason and it’s opened up a lot of opportunities.”

Yay Joanna! Now go record a good album and stay in the spotlight so I can continue my weird obsession with you.