Um, so, I’m basically unreachable by MySpace these days. I never check those accounts. (My apologies to those of you who have friend requests pending.) So it’s a relief to see that my old MySpace pal — and Verne Troyer’s former bedroom pal — Ranae Shrider has finally joined Facebook and added me as a friend.

Homegirl is NOT READY to settle for fifteen minutes of fame. She is going to STAY IN OUR FACES, beyotch.

Ranae posted a shitload of new photos and re-started her PR machine today by leaving messages on my wall and Wendie’s and probably every other gossip blogger’s on the planet. I have to admit, though, she looks awesome. I’m not sure if she had work done or if she just got a new hair and makeup person, but I do think she looks really good.

I’m sorry, I just can’t be that mean to her. This is the girl who emailed me this photo once upon a time, and I will forever be grateful. There’s just nothing in my life I love more than this photo:

Oh, no, wait, there’s now one I like better:

Whatever. There’s a soft spot in my heart for any girl who’s willing to sell out pictures of her pint-sized ex-lover in a lobster bib to extend her time in the spotlight. That is my kind of woman.

Ya look damn good, sweetie.

They’ve been dogged by a lot of break-up rumors lately, but Gossip Girl co-stars (and lovers?) Blake Lively and Penn Badgley didn’t seem to mind each other’s company at the DirectTV Celebrity Beach Bowl in St. Petersberg, Florida on Sunday. I’m rooting for those crazy kids!!

Also there: Brody Jenner and his girlfriend, Playmate Jayde Nicole, Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon, Chace Crawford, Joel and Benji Madden, and Christian Slater.

But did everyone watch Puppy Bowl????

Puppy Bowl was WAY BETTER than any stupid celebrity bowl. This year, THEY HAD A PUPPY STREAKER!

Here is the gorgeous and talented Jennifer Hudson singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl game.

J-Hud did a phenomenal job with this.

If only the refs had been equally competent!!!

ZOMG.

The one time in my life that I actually care about a sporting event, and my heart gets ripped out from my chest and stomped on.

This is why I try not to care about things.

I even wore my little Cardinals jersey that I bought when I was visiting my hometown of Phoenix, and went to a big party and wore the 3-D glasses and cheered my little heart out.

It didn’t matter.

I’m so crushed.

If you want to talk about the stupid football game that happened today, this is your thread. I will try not to ban you for saying nice things about the Steelers.

This guy

has managed to bring in some 83 million dollars in the past three weeks. In light of the grim economic outlook January’s movie revenues are a surprise to the industry. North American ticket sales are up 20% compared to the same time last year and ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop’ is a large part of that improved number. I hear security guards are none to pleased with the film, but America seems to be loving it. I’ll admit when I saw the trailer I was like “what in the segway riding mustachioed hell?!” But once I learned it was set in the dirty jerz I had to support it. 

Kudos to Kevin James. In step with Michael Cera he’s slowly changing the “leading man” stereotype and ‘King of Queens’ reruns are still hilarious.

Jesse Metcalfe shot to fame as Gabrielle’s hot gardner/adultery partner on ‘Desperate Housewives’. He spent an inordinate amount of time shirtless looking a bit like this: 

But now that Jesse has “relaxed’ a bit, he looks like this:

His once taut pecs have now puckered into the sweetest of man boobs. No one ever warns these guys that once they spend all that time pumping the pecs up, they can’t quit. As soon as you stop pumping iron they sag into mini mammaries. Somehow I doubt this will get half the publicity of the Jessica Simpson “Weight Gate”. I’m not saying he’s fat, by any means. He looks like the average college-aged guy with a daily pizza/beer regimen and no regular workout. Still cute, just not greased up, hard-bodied, slap your ass and pull your hair hot. 

A few more angles on the new Jesse…

Via: Just Jared

Despite Beets fervent denials, Phelps was indeed smoking massive amounts of sticky icky out of that gigantic bong. 

 

Olympic great Michael Phelps acknowledged “regrettable” behavior and “bad judgment” after a photo in a British newspaper Sunday showed him inhaling from a marijuana pipe.

In a statement released to The Associated Press, the swimmer who won a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games did not dispute the authenticity of the exclusive picture published Sunday by the tabloid News of the World.

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

 

On one hand I understand the big deal and on the other hand – what the fuck is the big deal? Phelps is a role model, sure. But he is also a 23 year old half dolphin herculean beast that has been locked in a watery prison for most of his young adulthood. Even dolphins like to get twisted and wild out every once in awhile. His mistake was letting someone take a picture of it. I don’t think Michael was really planning on continuing his swim career. In all the interviews I saw where he was asked about 2012 he didn’t seem overly enthused. How do you top 8 friggin Olympic Gold Medals anyway? In any case, I commend him on his bong choice. It looks very high tech and is obviously a quality piece. Hopefully the wacky tobaccy slowed down his superhuman sperm enough for he and Beet to bear mortal children.