Looks Like I Have to Keep My Day Job

February 2nd, 2009 by Evil Beet


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I love you guys, but, I gotta be honest — I was planning on getting out of this gig pretty soon. You see, I had tens of thousands of dollars invested in death pools worldwide, betting on Amy Winehouse to be dead by the end of the year. I figured she’d kick the bucket pretty soon, and I could cash in and move to a Bahamian island. Actually, no, I’d probably move to Hawaii or something, since everyone just seems to die when they go near the Bahamas.

Except for Amy Winehouse.

While she’s still getting drunk all the time, Amy appears not to be particularly cracked out these days, and has wisely turned control of her money over to the care of her parents.

The pop diva, trying to beat her drug problems on a long Caribbean holiday, signed when dad Mitch flew to see her.

Now she is barred from spending her own money without the say-so of Mitch or her mum Janis.

The move comes just weeks before Amy, 25, is expected to receive a £10million cheque for last year’s sales of her 2006 album Back To Black.

“Everyone is pleased because it means Amy is listening to good advice,” said a source. “It’s still her money and nobody else can touch it. But this stops her doing anything stupid. And it is evidence that Amy is really turning her life around.”

Documents lodged at Companies House show Amy is the only beneficiary of her company Cherry Westfield – she owns all 100 £1 “ordinary” shares in the firm. But on January 16 Amy, who is now being divorced by her druggie husband Blake Fielder-Civil on the grounds of infidelity, agreed “articles of association” which give her parents “B-shares” – and voting rights which restrict her actions.

Her friend Blake Wood witnessed Amy’s signature on the document, which ex-cabbie Mitch personally delivered to her St Lucia villa.

At least one of her parents – who divorced when Amy was nine – must agree to any decisions about Cherry Westfield.

Now, this isn’t exactly the scenario that Britney Spears has — her father has far more control over her life than this document gives Amy’s parents — but it’s a sign that Amy is open to taking suggestions, and possibly allowing others to help her move her life in a non-dying direction.

Which is good for Amy, but bad for anyone who had her in a death pool.

So who should my money be on now?


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16 Responses to “Looks Like I Have to Keep My Day Job”

  1. wendie says:

    Pete Doherty, clearly.

  2. Kataros says:

    Jessica Simpson.

  3. Beet Groupie says:

    Jack Black…a heart attack any day now.

    -or-

    Owen Wilson

  4. spob says:

    meh – dull now. Bring back the glory days of the beehive.

  5. PoliteTia says:

    Amy Winehouse’s body is just too disgusting to watch.

  6. Eloise says:

    MICHAEL JACKSON.

  7. john says:

    as a Bahamian, I take offence to that. Although you could try St. Lucia, that seems to be more restorative than deadly

  8. Delaney says:

    Abe Vigoda or Elizabeth Taylor.

    Or how bout Queen Elizabeth? They’re all up there.

  9. Izzie says:

    is it just me, or does Amy look a little bit like Jason Biggs on this pic..?

  10. Mesic says:

    Lindsay Lohan…
    The difficult thing is deciding whether you should put your money on cardiac failure due to complications from anorexia, lung cancer, or Sam Ronson beating her to death with a rubber dong when Lindsay’s caught with a(nother) MAN!!

  11. Kristin says:

    HOW ABOUT NOT MAKING BETS ON WHOS NEXT TO DIE CUZ ITS FUCKING SICK

  12. slouchy says:

    Adnan Ghalib, under “mysterious circumstances.”

  13. Simon FC says:

    my money’s on Kristen

  14. Simon FC says:

    *kristin

  15. Magic Peachz says:

    Duh, Patrick Swayze

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