Yay, everything is so happy and fun!!!

Chris Brown was spotted jet-skiing in Miami this weekend, smiling and flexing.

No Rihanna in sight, although she’s rumored to be there with him. At least they weren’t dumb enough to be photographed together yet.

I used to really like Chris Brown. Now I can’t believe how nauseated I am by him. He still hasn’t issued a formal apology, or made any statement to indicate the seriousness of domestic violence, and now he’s grinning on a jet ski?

This is in such poor taste, dude.

You can buy all the jet skis and necklaces and watches on the planet, Chris. You can’t buy class, and it’s obvious you’re now the same human scum as the man who used to kick your mom’s ass while you were growing up in Shitsville, Virginia. You clearly lack the strength to break the cycle, coward.

Stoners and sufferers of chronic pain are celebrating together this weekend: Barack Obama’s Attorney General, Eric Holder, announced this week that the Drug Enforcement Administration would end its raids on state-approved marijuana dispensaries. During the Bush administration, the DEA repeatedly ignored the states’ decisions to legalize medical marijuana by raiding distributors.

“What the president said during the campaign … will be consistent with what we will be doing here in law enforcement,” said Holder. “What (Obama) said during the campaign … is now American policy.”

“My attitude is if the science and the doctors suggest that the best palliative care and the way to relieve pain and suffering is medical marijuana, then that’s something I’m open to,” Obama said in November 2007 at a campaign stop in Audubon, Iowa. “There’s no difference between that and morphine when it comes to just giving people relief from pain.”

What this means for you?

If you live in one of the states where medical marijuana is legal, just find a “friendly” doctor and complain about some sort of chronic pain or anxiety and you’ll be puffing away at the good stuff, totally legally, right away.

Thanks, Mr. President!

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr were caught going at it on the balcony. You can tell it’s all steamy passionate due to the face clutching we see going on in the photo. Either this is a blatant photo op or these kids truly are crazy about each other.

Engagement announcement on the horizon perhaps?

Ah, no. My bad. That’s just Annalynne McCord modeling the world’s worst tan. With all the bikini pics of her out there you’d think she was getting enough sun to not have to resort to this. According to wiki she’s only 21, but this makes her look twice that, easy. She’s the color of the crunchy edges of baked macaroni! I don’t get the fascination with fake tanning. If you’re pale, just be pale and deal with it. Don’t give yourself age spots and a reverse raccoon in pursuit of something nature didn’t intend for you to have.

She couldn’t have evened that out with foundation or something?  Yikes!

..and people are just now noticing.

Doctor’s say McMahon is in serious condition, but his spokesman, Howards Bragman, had this to say:

“Ed’s a big, strong, hearty guy and his family and I are hopeful and optimistic about his prognosis,” he said.

Yes, he’s as “hearty” an 85-year old as there ever was. His birthday is March 6, and given how much Ed’s already been through I’m confident he’ll see that day. If he’s spry enough for the ‘Cash for Gold’ commercial he’s spry enough to  beat pneumonia.

Get Better Soon, Ed!

I thought we were in a recession…?

Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark will make it’s Broadway debut on February 18, 2010 at The Hilton Theater. The show is directed by Tony Award-winning Lion King director Julie Taymor and features music & lyrics by Bono and The Edge of U2 fame.

The production will cost a reported $40 million, making it the costliest Broadway production to date. Part of the enormous price tag stems from a massive cityscape set that includes skyscrapers for the web slinger’s acrobatics.

40 MILLION dollars? When I heard they were doing a Spidey musical I was like ‘meh’ but Bono rarely disappoints so maybe this’ll be the show that saves Broadway. The best part though is that title. Spiderman, Turn Off the Dark?! Everyime I say it aloud I see jazz hands on the edges of my vision.

For real, though – who the fuck is going to go watch a musical about Spiderman?

Kendra Wilkinson is telling anybody who’ll listen about what an old-fashioned girl she is. Once she ties the knot June she’s taking  on her new hubby’s last name and immediately dropping into prime babymaking position. She and fiance Hank Baskett already have the names picked out.

She claims it’ll be ’Kaleigh’ for a girl and ‘Hank Baskett IV’ for a boy but we all know she’s going to try so slip in some shit like ‘Lycra’ or ‘DEEZ NUTZ’ and hope nobody notices.