Here’s Orlando Bloom wandering about in various states of undress on the set of his latest film “Sympathy For Delicious”. Personally, his sexy peaked for me when he was Legolas in Lord of the Rings. Something about those silky blond locks and pointy ears really got to me. I think Jakey G has him beat on the whole “shirtless-movie-set-posing”  but he’s not half bad. 

The whole celebrity clothing line shtick is played out.  I say this because this man..

..should not under ANY circumstances be dressing other people. 

Toby Keith has decided he has style to spare (HA!) and is launching a clothing line called “T.K Steelman” (a porn name just waiting to happen) according to People Magazine. The line will be comprised of  ”casual duds for average dudes” and Keith plans to market to stores like Kohl’s, Target, Walmart and Macy’s. Toby’s impeccably coiffed internal fashionista has designed a line chock full of t-shirts, polos, sweatshirts, jeans, cowboy hats, baseball caps, bandannas, belts, leather wrist straps and the piece de resistance – several styles of sleeveless shirts.

Can’t wait to drag my man down to Walmart and outfit him in some oil-rig emblazoned “‘country sexy’ aesthetic”.

More evidence that Toby Keith needs to deal with his own fashion difficulties before moving on to others:

Spaghetti Cat is hitting the big time!

Keds, the brand that Mischa Barton supposedly represents, has created an actual Spaghetti Cat themed shoe. The “bold piece of leisure footwear” features the bottomless green orbs of  the famous carb loading feline the oh-so-original words “Spaghetti Cat” embossed beneath in some sort of Windows 98 script. Yes – they’re completely and utterly serious about this. The best part? They’re only available online through Zazzle U.K for the unbelievably affordable price of $150 a pop. Yes, that’s right – your favorite pasta masticating feline is not only branching out into footwear – he’s crossed the pond bitches!

Via Eonline

It goes against everything I believe in to have three Mischa Fierce posts in one week, but she’s all over the place during Paris Fashion Week.  It cannot be avoided.  She’s obviously attending the shows and certainly not lunching.  Girl looks good!  Yes, you heard me right.

Remember when Linda Evangelista said she doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000?  I think she needs to revisit that number based on her current condition.  And let me save you the trouble; no, it isn’t a snatch shot.  Trust me, I zoomed.

Also, make sure you check out the close up of Dita Von Teese’s shoes, or you know, torture devices.  No wonder she only grimaces.

I’m in that kind of a mood and I’m feeling more than my usual disturbed.

Am I off base, or does Dakota Fanning look way too adult for fourteen?  When I look at these pictures of her at the Push premeire in LA, she looks like a woman.  She’s even doing that Annie Leibowitz/Miley Cyrus over the shoulder glance thingy.  Her face looks young and thankfully she hasn’t had her teeth capped or whitened; it just seems like so much skin for a ninth grader.  As the senior citizen here at The Beet, I’m willing to accept that I’m probably just a prude.

Also there was Kimora Lee Simmons.  She’s knocked up by Djimon Hounsou who has been in Spielberg movies and shit, but will always be the hot guy from the Janet Jackson “Love Will Never Do(Without You)” video. Fugged up Rumer Willis appeared with red hair and Camilla Belle has solidified her position as my new girl crush.  If I was Joe Jonas, I totally would have picked her over Taylor Swift, too.  Okay, I gotta duck out of here before I get the “beet down” for bashing Tay.

Just yesterday, Michael Lohan was freaking out on his blog about the fact that Lindsay was hanging out with the devil incarnate- Samantha Ronson.  More likely, he just doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.

Today the awesome Karla emailed to let me know that Samantha has been working at Mansion in Ontario for the past couple of days and there has been no Linds in sight.  She even got a couple of candid shots of Sam with nothing but her turntable and a pail of beers!  I hear there was elbow touching too, but I’ll let Karla share those intimate details if she swings by.

Thanks K!

Jennifer Aniston needs to start consulting sperm banks if she’s serious about wanting kids.  Because she’s not getting any younger and it looks like John Mayer is the asshole I suspected he was.  Life & Style’s email newsletter reports:

Either John Mayer has split from Jennifer Aniston or they have a very open relationship. The musician was spotted on an intimate date with a beautiful blond woman at Marix Tex Mex Restaurant in Santa Monica on January 28. “They were obviously on a date,” an insider tells In Touch.” He came in with her another time too and I’ve seen them out together.” While the two keep their romance under wraps, John couldn’t hold back his feelings for her when saying goodbye. “He gave her a long kiss before they left,” adds the insider. “John has been here six times in the last two weeks but never with Jen.”

Of course he hasn’t been there with Jen.  Of course he’s making out with a beautiful blond.  I knew when they were staying in Mexico, together yet apart for New Year’s Eve, that this relationship was off in the ditch.  I’ve dated enough talentless, pasty-faced, closet gay commitment-phobes to spot one anywhere.