Life on Mars???
January 15th, 2009 by Evil Beet
Very cool!
NASA scientists are expected to announce today that they believe they have found life on Mars!
The scientists suspect alien microbes are alive and kicking just below the soil of the big planet, after large quantities of what is believed to be the organisms’ waste products were detected.
The organisms – called methanogens – are suspected to have been living in water beneath underground ice, where they are disgorging tonnes and tonnes of methane.
On Earth, methane is produced in massive quantities by animals such as cows, sheep and goats.
Giant telescopes from Earth and NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter have spotted a haze of the gas surrounding Mars, and according to some scientists this can only point to the presence of life on Mars.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
So, in laymen’s terms, we spotted life on Mars because it was farting.
BRILLIANT.
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That was exactly the same way I determined there was life in
New Jersey! BRILLIANT!
Oh a Jersey joke is very clever.
Ive never heard a comedian use a jersey/cloud of gas joke before.
Lame
Damn ButtHole, your following me all over this site. Is it my ButtHole that attracts you? If you get any closer you may very well get to know my ButtHole quite intimately. Are you tiring of your fathers ButtHole? Need a change?
well whatever is out there is okay by me as long as it doesn’t want to eat. i’m 19 and still afraid of the dark. you can verify with my first-year roommate at school. haha
oops! i meant to say as long as it doesn’t want to EAT US*
Ohhhhhhhhhh they are gonna announce they have found a whole mess of suir cruises running around acting a fool and throwing hell holy fits out there! BWAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA
the life is microscopic
Like your brain apparently!
WTF is your problem?
Have we met?
Do I owe your ass some kind of alimony?
Freak
No ButtHole you don’t.
So how about you leave me alone Jack Ass?
I will never understand you internet nut jobs.
I like Beet, I come here to give her hits.
So kindly fuck right off and let me be
lol
Wow! your sensitive. A delicate ButtHole aren’t we? You need to hook up with Donkey Punch on this site. He hates scientologists as well. Believe me I am no fan of scientology either but why would you say anything about Suri Cruise “acting a fool” or “throwing hell holy fits”, if you aren’t just being hateful of scientology or, even worse, innocent children? Do you know the child? Are you her nanny? I’m a sarcastic and even sometimes mean spirited fuck on this site as well but at least I discriminate between innocence and idiotic adults.
lmao.. good one, SimpleJack. Oh Beet.. just when my job has me wishing I was in a coma being waited on hand and foot, I check your site and you just make me happy to have the ability to waste company resources to check in on you every so often. The graphic you used to accompany this post made my day
Excellent interpretation to layman’s terms!!
pppffffffffffffffffffffffffttt
I hope my tax dollars aren’t paying for this crap. We need to be concerned about life on planet Earth. We should not be chasing Tom Cruise’s dream.
You don’t think finding lifeforms on another planet is important?
It should certainly not be top priority at this point in human existence. How can we possibly claim “we come in peace” and all that crap if we still attack each other on blogs? :-) lmao Case in point… scroll up a little.
My God! What the fuck is it with the people on this site? “Tom Cruise’s dream”? Oh, like the exploration of space, and the search for extra-terrestrial life never existed before Tom Cruise became a scientologist.
Damn people, being funny/sarcastic and hopefully quasi factual is one thing but to utter fucking complete nonsense/hatred disguised as humor doesn’t fucking work.
I hate myself. I hate myself because my mother never loved me and I have hemroids. I dress up as Katie Holmes at night and stick G.I. Joe up my butt and cry to Xenu about how unfair the world is.
I work for UPS.
I knew it!
Hello everyone I’m “ButtHole” I am a pathetic fuck. I don’t know who my mother is because she was a whore and gave me away at birth for some crack. My best friend is SimpleJack. To satisfy my appetite for feces from a male anus he is kind enough to crap on G.I. Joe’s and then give them to me so I can crawl in a corner and lick them while I cry because I’m worthless and I work for the U.S. postal service.
An UPS man. It all makes sense now. :)
Real cute “ButtHole”. So you used my name to post more of your shit. At least I know who my mother is. Your mother was a whore who sold you at birth for some crack. Please tell the folks the complete truth about why I stick male dolls up my ass. It is because I am your good friend and I am trying to help you fulfill your need to lick feces from a male anus off of dolls. It helps comfort you as you sit in a corner and cry because you are worthless and you work for the U.S. postal service.
LMAO… seriously dude… you need to find a job.
I think Butthole and Jack are the same person
lmao
Farting planet? It’s true. Men are from Mars.
haaaahahahahahaha you are quite clever.
I just let off some methane gas while reading this.
I would just like to ad that Suri Cruise is a little bitch :)
Are you displacing Suri for your mother? You seem to be projecting a disproportionate amount of anger and hate towards a 2 year old. What the hell has she done in two years on this planet that would cause you to get so bent? Your mother, aunt, little sister, niece, or neighbors daughter must have beaten the fuck out of you as a kid to cause your extreme hatred towards little girls.
Whatever it is that you and simple have going on is amusing for the most part but calling a 2 year old child a bitch is way out of line and greatly diminishes your credibility. Just my opinion.
wow, really.. what’s the deal with hating a 2 year old so bad? Only making you look like a pathetic, hateful bitch
Yes, farting AND pooping. :)
No, seriously Suri is really quite a little bitch.
LMAO
ahahaha too funny.
NewScientist totally one-upped their story today with Our World May Be a Giant Hologram:
i think butthole and jack need to meet up and hit it off somewhere
If your talking about me “hitting” a nine iron “off” the side of “ButtHoles” head I would be up for that. I tried golfing before but didn’t like it very much, but I would definitely give it another try if “ButtHole” would be so accommodating.
Ignoring the people who are obviously jacking off while they type in here –
Very funny “layman’s terms” Beet – New Scientist couldn’t have done it better!
Are they sure some space mission didn’t just by accident drop my boyfriend off there?
He is known to cause quite a ‘haze of gas’ himself.
You guys are really smart!
You cant see that any person can log in as ButtHole and Simple Jack?
Its clearly several people taking the piss out of simple jack for being an abusive moron.
Also saying you would like to inflict bodily harm onto another poster should be grounds for being banned.
You have both been reported.
Is nobody reading the Guide To Commenting anymore? *snort*