Some Items of Note
December 27th, 2008 by Evil Beet1) There is absolutely nothing of any interest going on anywhere in the world right now. Trust me, I asked everyone.
2) I’m in Scottsdale at my dad’s house, where the Internet moves at about the speed of the fat asthma kid in fourth grade.
3) I am still sick.
4) Wendie is even sicker than I am, and she has the added bonus of a sick kiddo to deal with on top of it.
5) The result: Not gonna be much posting on Sunday.
If you guys want, you can entertain yourselves by composing haikus about Lindsay Lohan’s relationship with Samantha Ronson in the comments. THEY MUST BE IN HAIKU FORM. I will pick a winner. The winner will get absolutely nothing, but there will be bragging rights, I can promise you that.
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Ronson and Lohan
Grumpily walking everyday
No more leggings please!
maybe i just say it wierd but doesn’t “grumpily walking everyday” have 8 parts instead of the required 7?
grum-pi-ly
walk-ing
ev-ery-day
yeah 8
Oh man…it’s actually got 9.
Grum-pil-y = 3
Walk-ing = 2
Ev-er-y-day = 4
Ouch. Definately not a haiku.
there are actually 9. You missed ev-er-y-day. It would’ve worked had it been spelt “ev’ryday.”
I actually count 9.
Everyday = 4
Ev-er-y-day
change it to grump-ly
i actually think its nine
grump-il-y
walk-ing
ev-er-y-day
i dont know if thats right i say it like ever plus ee
it is 9. ev er y day has 4 syllables.
You could have
Ronson and Lohan
Grumpily walking all day
No more leggings please!
That would work.
The Beet loves her boots
And we love her leggings too
What is next Lindsay?
Lickety Slurp Slurp
Munchety Muff Munch Yum Yum
EW EW IT’S THOSE TWO
HAHAHAHA!! this is the best one, i swear!
agree!
lindsay, oh lindsay
you are such a lesbian
just come out already
what a cute couple
a pretty, troubled actress
and sam ronson, huh?
Samantha Ronson
Fucking smile once in a while
Bitchin’ boots, Lindsay
loves it
my favorite!
yaaaaay hahahahha
Good shit
What a special pair
The “daily lohan” pics rock
Sorry ’bout your dad
that poor Samantha
dealing with Lohan daily
damn she sure is whipped
Nice.
lindsay loves her chick
seeming happy, but really…
shame sam has no dick
hahahah Not gonna lie
I seriously laughed wicked hard at this
The Booty lady ,
the skinny Beast,
and their kiddo – papa Lohan.
~LIA~
oh shit it’s haiku
not one of my favorite things
this makes my brain hurt
Always having lunch
Yet never getting fatter
What’s the secret, girls?
SamRo, don’t forget
Red Bull, Blackb’ry, Ray Bans, hat
Car keys, smokes… & Linds.
I like it!
Lindsay loves vageen
Daddy is a major peen
Look! Samlo sex scene!
I can’t believe you haven’t posted about Robert Pattinson’s new hair. Everytime I go on yahoo, there is a new headline about it.
i have gone on yahoo 80 million times and find this NOWHERE…where is it??
lol
I is in despair
for evilbeet.. is so slow
oh why, samro, why?
Firecrotch burning bright
on this dark December night
will show Sam the way
LMFAO
LOL! I really hope this one wins!
PROPS
Seriously this one has to win.
this better win.
this one has my vote =]
my fave
SamRo and Lindsay
Always in the public eye
Fighting and loving
lo and ro
they’re so so
yet we love em so much mo.
this one made me giggle.
haha so not a haiku, yet so fantastic.
Extensions and butch
Light and dark together
Bringing out the best.
I work all night long
Come in here for a respite
And there is nothing
Lindsay’s “not a lez”
But she likes Samantha’s poon
Oops, guess she’s a lez
You have my vote! LMAO
totally has my vote
hahhahaha OMG shannon I LOVE it!
ok ill think of one later
Lilo Samro kiss
Father Michael not bless them
Christmas teeth unwrapped
Its far to early
for me to be creative
Lindsey and Sam = GAY
I smell fish
Do you smell fish?
Oh, hi Lindsay
HAH thats terrible,
Fish smell jokes are pretty low
Why am I laughing?
Linds used to do men
Lesbian SamRo is close
Baby steps for Linds
Our love has survived
My father can not stop this
Sappho love does rule
What’s orange and white
Plaid and legging’d all over
Lilo/SamRo Love.
I don’t care about
What anyone has to say
Lindsay has great tits
Hundreds of people just died in Gaza…I know we’re not in the business of politics here on evilbeet (amen to that) but its hardly fair to say that “nothing” is going on in the world…
BUZZKILL!
im sure Beet meant nothing in the entertainment world.
Your name shames me.
My thoughts exactly
GO AWAY
who are you saying go away to?
i agree with you
Samantha, Lindsay
Thy love is like a river
Swift, wet, and gushing.
damn i wish you could add a ‘dis’ to that gushing
Hahaha.
SamRo and Lindsay
One’s a DJ, one’s a Star
Friends with benefits
I love Evil Beet
I come here every day
Hot gossip’s my thang
nothing interesting going on? israel is at war again.
as usual!
I cant think of a poem but I have to say my little brother is a fat asthma kid in the fourth grade and he is pretty damn slow, lol
Red sapphic child star
And her dirty butch girlfriend
Lurch and smoke all day
Her crotch is on fire
Can Samantha put it out
The flames burn wildly
That’s a good one.
Omigawd! STARCASM! This sounds nerdy but I am a HUGE fan.
BA HA HA HA HA HA
A+
LOVE it
Hot Lindsay Lohan
is dating an uggo dike
she could do better
She’s Lindsay Lohan
Not Hillary DUff
She totally in love
With Samantha’s muff.
this is in NO WAY a haiku
your dad is fuckin’ nuts
grumpy djays are her thing
extensions so tangly
Where is the Lindsay
That was an alcoholic
And a raging whore?
Remember Mean Girls?
Remember Freaky Friday?
I weep, and I mourn.
Pasty homeless man
Warms hands over burning trash
Sam on Lindsay’s vag
I have to nominate this as the winner. It has not only the structure 5-7-5 but the imagery and most importantly the distillation of the zen moment that characterizes haiku. ‘Trash’ functions as the kireji, cutting the preceding metaphor from the closing reality and also contains a second meaning, i.e that celebrity media (or possibly even Lindsay herself) is trashy.
Nice haiku.
Israel under fire/
Rather write about lesbians/
Long live firecrotch
Israel under fire?
How strange, my newspaper says
Palestinians dead.
It’s a war. Both sides have casualties.
Teeth sinking
Into an abysmal
Firecrotch
Anorexic Sam
Rehab veteran Lindsay
The two can’t go wrong!
Lindsay “firecrotch”
Fell in love with “DJ” Sam
Lesbo “love” affair
What the hell is a haiku? Beetie you are sick so much and have been getting so healthly…waz up with that, you drama queen.
#1 Lynn!!
There is only 1, #1.
AND YOU’RE NOT IT.
We need a naming convention beet, posers are running amuck
What the hell are you babbling on about?
Maybe I’m just stupid, but I couldn’t form anything coherent or relevant from those two posts. What the fuck?
I know, I’m J,
My letter has been used.
Perhaps I should switch to lower case.
But I won’t.
beet!!!!! change it to limericks… that would be sooooo much more fun. i’m sure it would be hilarious.
There once was a talented deejay
Whose crabby-ass sister was gay
To everyone’s shock
Lindsay gave up the cock
And Sam got a big rise in pay.
I hereby declare mcbiscuit the winner of the Limerick contest! HOORAY!
Concert T-shirt grunge
Hair, leggings, boots looking hot
Lindsey, why oh why?
Hey now you bitches
Giving lezzies a bad name
Quit the act Lohan
Get it right bitches
She is not a lesbian
She just prefers breats
Freckles and fierce boots
Used to do lots of cocaine
Fish and chips are good
I am loving this shit!