I plan to get healthier and get in shape this year.  I’ve been looking around for a role model to inspire me.  Someone I can look to for motivation.  I think I’ve found just that person.  What do you think?

Donatella Versace, this week in St. Bart’s.

Of course they broke up again.  Travis Barker and Shana Moakler need to take note.  Because even if you skid off a runway and have critical burns and almost die, it doesn’t make you any more compatible with an ex.  I don’t know why people think near death experiences are a sign from God to go recommit the same mistakes.  Like He sits up there saying “I’m giving you this second chance at life so you can fail, yet again, at the same relationship.”

I am happy to report that DJ AM is now dating some American Apparel model chick which hopefully will thwart any future reconciliation attempts with that other one.

Yes, this is Mandy Moore from seven years ago, but I can’t pass by an opportunity when I see the two most irritating women in Hollywood in the same picture.  I’m not that strong.

Where are you going to be ringing in 2009?  I’m happy to tell you that I’ll be snowed in on a gluten-free bread bender.  But people who actually have lives have some big plans.  Check it out:

Jennifer Anistonis in Los Cabos with John Mayer, Courteney Cox and David Arquette.  Well, John Mayer is staying at a villa located in close proximity to where Jen is staying with the Arquettes.  He totally strikes me like one of those “We don’t need a title” types.  Bleah.

Lindsay Lohan is hanging out with Samantha Ronson at her deejaying gig at Mansion in South Beach.  Sam is feeling more rested since last week’s hospitalization now that she stopped eating at airport kiosks.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are hosting a party at PURE Nightclub in Vegas.  Technically, she’s Ashlee Simpson-Wentz but I’m preparing for the future when she drops him and the hyphename.

A longer list of New Year’s Eve celeb whereabouts is here and please, Denise Richards made this list?  Like one person in the universe was wondering what she was up to tonight.

Oh, and I just tried the bread and I gotta tell you:  Gluten-free bread is so disgusting.

It sounds like there may be another American Pie sequel.  Unlike its predecessors Band Camp, Naked Mile and Beta House, this one might actually make it to the theater before being promptly ushered off to DVD.  Aren’t you so excited?

Anyone want to take bids on opening weekend ticket sales?  I say $1.7M.

Above, Tara Reid at the west coast premiere of American Pie, uh…the first one, in 1999.

Here’s Lindsers heading off to a club in Miami last night.

Check out those stems!

Lookin’ good, Lindsay!

Queen Latifah is the newest victim of jewelry theft.  She has been vacationing in Tobago over the holidays with her girlfriend (the article reads “female friend” but isn’t it a forgone conclusion at this point that Queen is gay?) when she discovered $10,000 in rings and bracelets had been taken from her room. 

Now listen, I don’t get to stay in luxury villas.  The Westin is about as exciting as it gets for me.  But even at the Westin, they have a fucking safe.  And if I had $10k in jewelry and was just so relevant that I had to bring it with me, that’s where it would be stored.  I just don’t get it.  Is this not common sense?  

Being burgled turned out to be one of the hottest trends of 2008.

Just when I think I’ve heard all there is to hear about Amy Winehouse, there’s more.  The end of the year offers an opportunity to look back on the past 365 days and reflect how your life has changed.  Can anyone tell me how Amy Winehouse’s life is one coke gram different than it was a year ago?

Alex Haines, the dude that Amy started screwing when her Blaaaaaake was in jail, has granted a tell-all interview to News of the World.  Can you even imagine what the People Who Share Drugs and Bodily Fluids With Amy Winehouse interview budget must be over at NOTW?  If nothing else, I love that they capitalize all the words that they feel are the most critical.  CRACK!  BREAKFAST!  HIS TOOTHBRUSH!  THROW UP!  It really makes for efficient reading.

On drugs:

Alex Haines tells how the singer smoked CRACK for BREAKFAST from pipes she made out of drinks bottles as she blew £3,500 a week on drugs in her darkest hours.

She was so desperate for every last bit she even frantically scraped the residue out with a SCREWDRIVER so it wouldn’t be wasted.

When Amy woke up the first thing she’d ask was, ‘Where’s my pipe?’.  She often made crack pipes by putting foil on top of plastic bottles and then burning the drug.

 

While she got it going I made toast with butter and a cup of tea for her. It was her normal breakfast.

 

When Amy ran out of the drug it she would cut the bottle in half and sit there on the floor completely wired, scraping the inside to get the residue with a screwdriver.

 

She had to have a heroin and crack pipe near her or she freaked out. She’d keep taking drugs until she passed out. I reckon she spent £3,500 a week on them.

 

Amy’s home in Camden, London, was a hub for drug-fuelled parties—with the singer always eager to impress her fellow addicts.

 

At one party Amy wanted to prove she was used to cocaine. So she did a line that was 20 CENTIMETRES LONG to show she was a big user.

On Amy’s eating disorder:

He also reveals how the once painfully thin diva was a secret BULIMIC—living on McDonalds and up to 10 Crunchie bars at a time. She even used HIS TOOTHBRUSH to make herself THROW UP afterwards.

Amy suffered from bulimia, which is why she looked so thin. She would have a massive McDonalds and then throw it all up in the bathroom. I found my toothbrush covered in sick, and asked her about it.

 

She went really sheepish but told me she suffered from it for a long time. Several times I went into her bathroom and saw sick all over the sink.

 

She lived off Crunchie bars—up to 10 at a time—packets of Haribo sweets and bottles of orange Lucozade Sport. Her heroin problems made her crave sugar.

On sex with Amy:

It was like having my own little porn star. Amy was so dirty—she wanted sex all the time. We did it four or five times a day and she’d even wake me up for it. She was addicted to sex like she was to drugs.  It was 6am. I woke up looked around and there she was. She pounced on me. We made love. Afterwards I said, ‘This is gonna make things difficult,’ but she replied, ‘No it’s not’.

 

We became wrapped up in one another. When I stayed at hers I would be asleep downstairs and there would be this little girl on the bed crawling towards me waking me up for sex.  But Amy could never get Blake off her mind. She would go on about him and her being together forever straight after we made love. I sat there in disbelief. We had few bust-ups over it.

On Amy cutting:

I was my job to look after her. But it was impossible. I thought she wouldn’t survive the year with all the drugs and self-harming. Cutting herself was her favourite pastime.  He was shocked by her self-harming. The first time I saw her do it was after she told Blake we’d had a fling. She cut herself with scissors from shoulder to wrist.

 

And even Amy, 25, was afraid her number was almost up.  She reckoned she would join the 27 club of rock stars who died at that age.  She told me, ‘I have a feeling I am gonna die young.’

The 27 Club is in reference to a group of musicians all who have died at the age, obviously, twenty-seven.  This clan includes Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain.  All of whom were excessive drug users.  It strikes me funny that Amy “has a feeling”  she’s going to die young as if she’s getting some telepathic download on this.

Thanks Whitney!