“These are stories that have been written about everybody. Of course we’re the new girls on a hit show so we’re plopped into these little boxes. And people buy it. It makes me totally second guess anything I’ve ever read about anybody.”

90210 star Shanae Grimes, disputing rumors that she’s an anorexic party girl who’s difficult on set.

Honestly, I’ve always thought Shanae just looks like one of those girls who eats healthy, exercises and is just naturally really thin — plus, she’s 19 years old. It’s easy to be that skinny when you’re 19 years old. Jesus, when I was that old, if I wanted to lose 10 pounds, I’d eat salad for a week and go for a couple jogs and it was done. I never understood how people had trouble losing weight. It’s was like, “Dude, it only takes a week, get on it!” Now, at 26, I’m running like 4 miles a day and eating salad and fruit and whole grains ONLY and it’s been 3 weeks and I can’t drop a single pound. FUCK THE AGING PROCESS.

It’s almost the start of the holiday season, and this is about the time that I completely stop giving a fuck about doing work and totally phone it in. This was an especially dangerous time, for the country as a whole, really, back when I used to write the code for fighter jets. Thank goodness I have been quarantined in the world of celebrity gossip now.

But some moron PR flack sends me an email wanting me to run a contest promoting the Hello Kitty album, since apparently you guys are all seven years old. And I’m like “Holy shit, what the fuck is the Hello Kitty album?” And it’s real, and it exists, and the MySpace page is here, and it contains this gem of a music video. And I’m sitting at my desk listening to it and Laremy walks by. He stops dead in his tracks and stares at me.

“There’s a very good explanation for this,” I say.

“Don’t tell me,” he says. “It’s much better this way.”

Listen up, people. New rule. We do not cover Heidi and Spencer on this blog anymore. Not until one or both of them dies. I am so unbelievably sick of their famewhoring.

Never again.

OK! magazine may brag that it costs 50 cents less than Us Weekly or People, but that comes at a price.

The magazine misspelled Ashlee Simpson’s name — on the cover.

“It is highly embarrassing and, sadly, someone will probably be fired,” said a rep for the magazine.

The infamous DUI-er gets out of the car holding a copy of Get Out of My Life for the paps to see.

Cute.

Twilight hottie Kristen Stewart has the early makings of a gossip column mainstay — photogs caught her smoking a bowl on her stoop in broad daylight.

You’re gonna have to get smarter about this stuff, Kristen! You’re famous now.

Here’s LiLo wandering around LA yesterday after a doctor’s appointment.