In their rushed efforts to create a new Miley Cyrus before the original’s sex tape leaks, Disney appears to have greenlit a Wizards of Waverly Place film, which will throw relative newcomer Selena Gomez onto the big screen and deeper into the hearts of pre-teen America.

Selena also continues to hawk her Shia LaBeouf crush, repeating her request that he make an appearance on her show. “I’m, like, begging, but it’s not happening. I know I’m a nerd! Please, Shia, come on my show!”

Wonder what Nick Jonas thinks of all this nonsense. He’s probably too busy worrying about his big-screen debut, co-starring a flatulent dog. OMG! COULD WE GET MILEY CYRUS TO PLAY THE DOG???? That would be so awesome.

Hi, guys! Sorry I was gone all afternoon. I was very busy getting me and Leo ready for Halloween. Leo is going to be a ladybug. Why? Because it was all that Target had in his size. Also: it comes with a little hat with antennae, and, honestly, how can you pass up an opportunity to make your dog wear a little hat with antennae? Leo is wearing it right now and he looks absolutely precious, if a tad bit miserable.

I am going as Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. I have no idea who Luna Lovegood is. I have never read a a Harry Potter book nor seen a Harry Potter movie. Actually, I should amend that: I have never seen a Harry Potter movie sober. The whole Film.com office is going as Harry Potter characters, and this is my involvement. My coworkers seem to think I look like this person. Nothing could be less true. I have a way better rack than that chick. My idea for us was that our movies editor, Laremy, should go as “Caremy Bradshaw,” and then all the girls would go as Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda and our bald boss, Mike, would go as Stanford. I even offered to create Laremy’s “Caremy” costume. It was a very good idea, just not in anyone else’s mind. So of course I’m being all whiny about this, like, “How am I supposed to make some Harry Potter chick slutty? It’s not Halloween if I can’t be slutty,” and the guys in the office were all like, “Dude, we trust that you’ll figure something out.” So I go to the costume shop today to buy my long blond Luna Lovegood wig, and, much to my surprise, they already have a slutty Harry Potter girl costume for sale. It barely even covers my ass cheeks! SUCCESS! Of course, I’m supposed to be on Team Ravenclaw or some shit and the costume is in some other team’s colors so I had to go to Target and buy a blue and silver tie so I could be all Ravenclaw4Life. And that is where I found the ladybug costume for Leo. So basically I am going as slutty and my dog is going as homosexual. Perfect.

Here are some photos from the new Bond flick’s premiere in London. They are NOWHERE NEAR AS AWESOME as my photos will be on Friday.

GET. READY. AMERICA.

Just days before the election, Barack Obama has opted to sit down with Mario Lopez for an episode of Extra! airing on Thursday, where he will talk about “his mother, and his workout.”

Now, if he wanted to secure the undecided vote, he would be asking Mario Lopez the tough questions, like why he’s such a fucking tool, and how in God’s name he keeps getting work.

Fresh from BritneySpears.com: new pics of Britney in dance rehearsals!

Yay Crazy Conservatorship Britney!

Get down with your legally insane self!

I’m still a little bitter with her for announcing at the VMAs that anyone who doesn’t wear a promise ring is a slut, but, still. Jordin Sparks actually was looking quite good at this Avon charity event in NYC. It’s amazing what a team of stylists can do, isn’t it?

If you, like me, have been waiting anxiously for the opportunity to drop $70 on a Native American-style bracelet designed by a socialite — who is, uh, native to America? — you can finally breathe a sigh of relief!

Nicole Richie’s jewelry line, called House of Harlow, is now available at Kitson and online.

In fairness, most of the pieces are under $70, and some are as low as $12.

None really stand out as being particularly attractive to me, though.

People should be protesting this outfit no matter what.

Jessica looks like hell these days.

At the Macy’s 150th birthday celebration in NYC.

As this election winds to a close, Barack Obama is ramping up, with an appearance on The Daily Show on Wednesday and a rumored appearance on SNL this weekend.

A major-party Presidential candidate doing The Daily Show just days before the election?

Dude, when Jon Stewart started out his silly little fake cable-news show, who would’ve thunk it? Amazing.

Above, find a clip of the last time Obama appeared on The Daily Show.