I’ll make the same comment I always make: Not enough gratuitous shots of Michael Phelps’ penis. I don’t think I can get behind this product. But I sure as hell can get behind Michael Phelps … and in front of him, and on top of him, and on my side and in the shower and in the dressing rooms of the Speedo store and … I should stop now.

Thanks GrumpyGirl80!

“At least she’s learning. It’s a great move. And if she ever wants to come back to us, saying, ‘Look, I made a mistake, let’s do a relaunch with a personal appearance,’ we would absolutely pick it up again.”

Kitson owner Fraser Ross, regarding Lauren Conrad’s upcoming college tour to promote her clothing line. Kitson dropped the brand from their trend-setting store after LC refused to do an in-store appearance or educate the staff about the brand.

From his website:

October 29, 2008 – A big mazal tov goes out to COREY — HE IS GETTING MARRIED!! The lovely lady is Tiffany Shepis! COREY and Tiffany first met 12 years ago while COREY was on set filming FEVER LAKE. They recently reunited at the Chiller Theatre autograph show & the rest is history. The wedding has been set for May 9, 2009!

In other news, COREY regrets that he will not be able to attend the Virgin Megastore bash in Hollywood tomorrow night. He is currently being treated for a nasty case of bronchitis. COREY urges those of you in the Los Angeles area to still attend the show as G TOM MAC is going to rock the house!

Also, COREY wants to let everyone who ordered a painting know that he will be shipping them out to you within about 2 weeks.

Uh … forget the marriage thing. Can we please talk about these paintings?

Apparently Corey makes custom 8×10 paintings for his fans for the low, low price of $350. His website includes this personal note on his artistic endeavors:

PS: I do have one problem though. Like there’s this one fan right now that wants a painting and wants to pay $500,000.00. That’s a bit extreme, don’t U think? And to top that off, she wants me to give her painting in person. That might be possible one day, but as for now, it’s just not.

My statement to Lady-with-the-half-a-million:
I don’t want your money. U either trust, or U don’t trust. And please note that threatening not to pay me unless I give it to U in person isn’t cool. That is not how this works and your threatening tone sounds stalkerish. No thanks. Painting denied. CH

PAINTING. DENIED.

BOO-YAH, MOTHERFUCKER!

Hello, girls.

Oh, I see you’re off to do some partying together.

Before that happens, I have an idea I would like you to seriously consider.

Courtenay, you have an ‘e’ that you’re totally not using. Brittny desperately needs one. Courtenay, please give Brittny your ‘e’. It’s called “sharing,” girls. It’s what friends do. But you wouldn’t know much about that, now would you?

Meanwhile, Courtenay’s been slapped with a suit by a Las Vegas security guard for beating him up while she was wasted. He tried to cuff her and she hit him in the face, screaming “Do you even know who I am, fucking idiot?…Google me, you dumb fuck.”

Oh, Courtenay. It’s impossible to Google you. No one can remember how to spell your damn name.

Everybody’s getting in on the voting action!

Up now: a non-partisan ad from Barbara Streisand, urging women to make it to the polls.

Thanks Babs!

In the absence of actual celebrity gossip in the week preceding, well, arguably the most important Presidential election in American history, the Internet is all abuzz over this viral video of a man swinging a small baby around a room. In fairness, the baby doesn’t seem much to mind. Is this real? Or CGI-style?

The Republican governor released his positions on the California propositions today, and he wants California voters to VOTE NO ON PROP 8.

TERMINATE PROP 8, YO!