HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Wow, you guys, honestly, my stomach hurts right now from laughing so hard at all the photos you submitted, and my mouth hurts from smiling. Your pets are ADORABLE. Not as adorable as my dog, of course, but still. Insanely cute.

I tried to group the photos by costume — there are a bunch of bumblebees, some witches and pirates, a couple of prisoners and a handful of chickens. There was also a Yoda, a Ghostbuster, a Batman, Alice in Wonderland (who gets to be the headliner here because her owner is EvilT), a Mermaid, a horse with a cowboy, a frog and a duck, Kanye West and a variety of other creative and hilarious ideas. I sincerely hope these pictures make you guys as happy as they made me.

If you sent me a photo of your pet and you don’t see it here, it is probably because you did not make your email subject line “EB Pet Costume.” I tried to get all the photos, but I get a ton of emails/tips and it’s hard to sort through them all, which is why it’s important you use the subject line specified. So, before I start getting emails asking why your pet wasn’t cute enough, check the subject line of your outgoing email and, if necessary, resend it. Everyone’s pet is cute enough!

An angry teenage boy unhappily poses with his mother, FEARNet president Diane Robina, who has dragged him to the organization’s annual Halloween bash in NYC when he’d much rather be at home playing baseball or listening to Nirvana albums.

Also there: a little-known actress by the name of Lindsey Lohman, who, if you believe the Hollywood murmurings, is poised to be the Next Big Thing.

Oh, what’s that? She always looks like that? Huh. Well, I guess she has to be better than Paris Hilton at something, right? The Other Heiress hosted a Halloween shindig at 1OAK, and no one famous showed up who wasn’t related to her, but that didn’t stop little ol’ Lydia from posing up a storm in her series of costumes. Honestly, I don’t even know what these costumes are. The first one? Might be some sort of journalist. Ah ha ha ha! Oh, Lydia. Look at you! Making fun of those paparazzi who soullessly hound you after you have your people call in tips. All that horrid attention that you in no way beg for. Oh, what a sense of humor you have, young lady! And the second one? WTF? Is that a wood nymph? Oh, God, that’s totally what I should have been. “I’m a wood nymph, yo. Get it? I’m a total nymph, and I give you wood. GET IT???”

Zac Efron rocks a little — uh — bruise on his neck.

As a Halloween treat tomorrow, I’m going to run a photo gallery of ya’ll’s pets in their Halloween costumes. Thank you to those of you who have already submitted photos. They’re making my inbox a more joyful place.

If you’d like to submit a pic of your pet in his/her Halloween costume, send it in an email to evilbeet@gmail.com, subject line “EB Pet Costume.” Try to get it in at some point tonight, although I may be able to do a second gallery during the day tomorrow, but no guarantees on that.

The photo gallery will be up tomorrow morning!

In an effort to detract from the gigantic set of lawsuits they’re currently battling with the MPAA, the RealNetworks corporate blog has taken to talking about — who else? — me. Since I technically work for them and stuff. But don’t tell the CEO. He’ll probably go to court and try to get an injunction against me. That’s just what they do around here.

I sat down with the fabulous, super-smart and super-cool Lacy Kemp, who runs the corporate blog (and has totally promised to teach me how to snowboard this winter!), to spill my guts about gossip blogging. You can check out the full piece she wrote here.

Thanks Lacy!

I’ll make the same comment I always make: Not enough gratuitous shots of Michael Phelps’ penis. I don’t think I can get behind this product. But I sure as hell can get behind Michael Phelps … and in front of him, and on top of him, and on my side and in the shower and in the dressing rooms of the Speedo store and … I should stop now.

Thanks GrumpyGirl80!

“At least she’s learning. It’s a great move. And if she ever wants to come back to us, saying, ‘Look, I made a mistake, let’s do a relaunch with a personal appearance,’ we would absolutely pick it up again.”

Kitson owner Fraser Ross, regarding Lauren Conrad’s upcoming college tour to promote her clothing line. Kitson dropped the brand from their trend-setting store after LC refused to do an in-store appearance or educate the staff about the brand.