This Is Too Good to Be True
October 27th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Starpulse magazine — the barometer of journalistic integrity — is reporting that Paris Hilton has booked a seat on Sir Richard Branson’s first Virgin spaceflight, scheduled for next year.
Paris is reportedly a little apprehensive about the trip.
“I’m very scared to do it,” she says. “What if I don’t come back? With the whole light-years thing, what if I come back 10,000 years later, and everyone I know is dead? I’ll be like, ‘Great. Now I have to start all over.’”
This has to be bullshit, right?
Even Paris Hilton wouldn’t just hand the blogging industry so many ready-made jokes, right?
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So, being a Virgin is not a prerequisite for those flights? Whew! I’m booking one right now!
hahaha good joke…Beet’s pulling all our legs…clever girl…lol
to paraphrase buzz lightyear: “to insanity and beyond”
She cant be that fucking stupid. the whole light year thing! Shit I apparently missed some important scientific discovery over the past month about light speed! NOOOO… lol
and why in this picture of her does her face looka likea man?
is she really a Transvestite?
This is perfect a spaceflight for the number one space cadet!!!!
Wow. Lay off Paris you guys! Come on! It’s really painful for her to use her brain in any sort of way! Have some compassion!
Did the space monkey have the day off?
Is she going to wear that dress??
xoxo
-Sarah@MaterialBITCH
Like we needed another excuse to make fun of Paris.
This is why it’s a good idea to actually graduate from high school.
Or have a library card.
She doesnt come back for 10 000 years?
Oh don’t tease me.
Wouldnt you just love to be stuck in the middle of space with Paris Hilton? It would make you empathize with those animals that eat each other.
I just checked out the site for the flight, and it seems to me that you like just shoot up like a rocket and then float from the momentum and then glide down until you hit gravity again… its not like your traveling around up there. Paris needs to read the fine lines…
hey Paris , say “hi” to Charlton Heston and the chimps on your way through the ’space time continuum’.
….and make sure you bring `em some news from home ,huh?……cos they`ve been away for awhile.
and if you find data’s head in a cave. . .oh wait– that’s time travel, forget it.
Is it April first already?
She is obviously confusing light years with ‘dog years’.
For some reason what really tickles me is her concern that she’ll have to “start all over”. I wonder what she means by that? The mind boggles… make new friends… find out what the new cools clubs are… get a new boyfriend…
lol @ Joan
Well technically the two could be related, I mean say they traveled at warp nine to a planet, and then found Data’s head in cave…they could technically also travel time….
ground control to major paris…
light years? SRSLY PRS?! SRSLY?
Paris is much more intelligent than we take her for. Obviously she meant that remark as a joke. She knows how to get attention, and, frankly, I think she snickers at the fact that the majority of the public takes her stupidity seriously.