He Could Have Been Mine
October 27th, 2008 by Evil Beet
My last chance at a blissful marriage just slipped through the cracks. Actually, that’s probably a really bad metaphor in this case.
The world’s fattest man as of 2007, Mexican Manuel Uribe, has married his friend’s widow in a televised ceremony the Discovery channel dubbed My Big Fat Mexican Wedding.
Despite shedding 230 kilograms (570 pounds) from 590 kilograms early on this year, Uribe, 43, had to be carried by a crane on his bed, where he has been confined for years, to the makeshift altar at a venue 30 minutes from his home on Sunday … The wedding reception had a “low-calorie banquet” with meat, cream of mushroom and buttered vegetables.
Congrats to the happy couple!
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…waiting for all the fatties to get pissed at your fat jokes… While I laugh=)
Hes so fat one of his nipples went missing!
And yeah, cream of mushroom is totally low in calories, along with those buttered verggies.
Is that huge blob one of his balls?
Seriously? Cream of mushroom and butter? I want a low cal diet then
The mattress is already worn out and it’s not even his honeymoon yet.
funny, but that mattress looks like something you’d wake up face down on after a night of watching donkey shows in tijuana while licking tequila off a middle aged mexican hookers sagging breasts. not that i’ve ever done it, mind you.
i bet she got him life insurance…..
I don’t even understand how someone gets like this. I understand being a bit chubby or a bit thick, but this? I mean it’s so unhealthy and frankly dangerous. Best wishes for them though. To each his own.
wow!!!
OMG Beet! Couldn’t you have a least listed this as NSWE (not safe while eating)??I almost chocked to death!!
woohoo – there really were not any fat jokes in the post. why dont you make some and then the pissing can commence?
his leg looks as if it is about to split open, eeek!
Dr. 90210 needs to get in there and cut off some skin and lipo like heck.
Beet… wtf is up with u always stealing my men?!??!?!?!?!?! U wanna take this outside????
Thank God for that white towel….
Raven, is that you?
That guys so fat he fell in love.. then broke it=)
I’m going to hell
LMAO AT WENDIE
@ indigo – I so agree – gag!!
Well, he looks happy AND he’s already lost 570lbs (Yow!).
It looks like he’s sweating to the oldies.
beet.
you skank.
i was expecting matt felker.
i just threw up a little in my mouth.
has anyone contemplated their wedding night?
icky
WTF???…..
I knew “love is blind” but I didn’t know it was coked up on crack too.
I’m mad….How come I wasn’t invited??? Did he wear a tux? Cus I have a Sea World Fun Pass and that expires next month…
Oh well… Did they throw rice or was he on Atkins?
And what’s with the damn turban covering his wee wee???… If that’s Osama Bin Laden under there, I want my cut of the reward!!!
Does that mean Perez is the fattest single Latino on the planet now?
Ahh…Fuck the wedding, I want to know who makes that bed. That’s quality shit right there!
Ok…I’m gonna go post this picture on Craigslist personals with the title, “Ha…This guy’s married and you’re ass is still single!”
i have no idea what ya’ll are talking about. he’s dead sexy.
Hey, no jokes here, people, okay? I used to look like this. Then I cut back from 47 Snickers bars a day to just one a week, and I feeeeel great!!!!!
TSS, you’ve got a million of ‘em. :O)
I know I’m going to hell for saying this, but when I read Wendie’s post I nearly shot sweet tea out my nose from laughing so hard. lol
oh my god look at his right foot.
and wendie’s comment made me crack up XD
well, we know who’s going to take his turn breastfeeding the babies.
I hate it when my thighs chafe.
If you look at it from an angle, it kinda looks like Kim Kardashian….pre-lipo.
I don’t even want to know what happens on their “honeymoon”…. lol!
I’m glad to see somebody overcoming personal handicaps to achieve their goals. Despite upsidedown-wrongside eyebrows, Manuel continues to try to fly by holding out his arms and making “vroom, vroom” airplane sounds.
One day he’ll fly right out of Shawshank… one day.
Waiting for the hot wedding night XXX video to come out…ay chihuahua!
@Catlass: More like the hot wedding night DCCLXXX video!
on the bright side, at least his wife has plenty of places to hide her drug stash now.
How did his right leg get so lucky?
beet, can we start this over and just have everybody guess what he smells like? i’m guessing soured milk, like most fat people.
when his new brides 15 minutes of fame is over, she has this to come home to. why did one side of his body get more fat than the other?
@ censorthis…
rotton fajitas!!!
OMG
beet, I think you could still have him. there’s plenty enough for two! you could start on one side and his wife on the other. You probably wouldn’t meet for several hours!! I have a strange desire to watch Star Wars: Return of the Jedi!
hahhaaa @ TSS’s craiglist thing and wendie’s comment…
good lord.
well… at least he’s lost weight… I don’t understand how he hasn’t died yet
LOL wendie!!
props to whoever can find me a pic of him pre-losing weight
@Dmarie: Here ya go, a video: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=i8aagA5oLok. It cuts out when Princess Leia chokes him with her bondage chain.
It looks like you could take a box-cutter to that fucking thigh and he’d lose 150 pounds….
i absolutely love this picture.
why was the man naked? did he just finished doing the dirty deed on that bed? how did he stand at the avatar.
i love seeing fatties.
See, ladies? There is a lid for every pot! The secret is lowering your standards! Geez – even Chang and Eng got married, for pete’s sake!
jabba the hut is alive and well in mexico.
Ok, I was watching a doc on this guy on my couch eating chocolate icing by the tablespoon and I took the spoon of icing out of my mouth and threw away the entire tub of icing and I will never buy icing again. You guys don’t understand, he used to be a computer programmer in the US then he was eating fast food and getting really fat, so he went home to Mexico thinking he would lose weight, but his mom – the enabler, kept feeding him and he just got fatter. His girl she’s a trooper, when he couldn’t leave the bed, she would clean him and i dont want to go into disgusting detail but i do mean clean him. Even though he’s bed ridden he exercises by dancing (wobbling) around in his bed and working his arms. That ball is a massive fat deposit, I can’t remember the term but its basically a lump of fat.
poor guy i feel sorry for him
cool zo dik ben ik niet hah!!1