I Am Going to Start Automating the Amy Winehouse Rehab Stories
October 26th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Seriously, you guys, rather than write these things every month, I’m just going to create a software program that knows to pump them out every 4-5 weeks. I’m going to patent it and sell it to all other news agencies.
Here is a rough look at the pseudo-code:
printf("OMG you guys! Amy Winehouse went to rehab! She had some trouble with the cops because of $police_issue and so she checked herself into rehab at $london_clinic with the help of her good pal $other_druggie. Her father, Mitch Winehouse, said Amy was just going into the clinic because she was struggling with $fabricated_illness.")
WHERE
$police_issue = { 'failing to appear at a court date' | 'involvement in bar brawl' | 'ingestion of enough illegal drugs to kill Keith Richards' } && !{'cooperation'}
$london_clinic = { 'Harley Street' || 'Focus 12' || 'London Clinic' } $$ !{'jail'}
$other_druggie = { 'Blake Civil-Fielder' || 'Blake Wood' || 'the cab driver'}
$fabricated_illness = { 'chest infection' || 'pneumonia' || 'rabies' } && !{'crack in her lungs'}
Best of luck to ya, Amy, but I've still got you as tops in my death pool.
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thats fuckin funny
Why is she dressed like Laverne DeFasio and who is Underbite Boy?
LOL I love it!
Ok call me behind the times. but i just saw the Rehab video.. and well putting 2 and 2 together.. that’s freaken funny.
I’ve had Pete Doherty on the top of my list since before Amy was famous for singing….that fucker is still alive too.
Good God, her teeth are hideous. I don’t know how some people can think she’s pretty. Ugh.
HAHAHA. That’s hilarious. I wish other gossip bloggers were as creative as you.
pak31, she USED to be pretty. The drugs have ravaged her good looks and it’s a crying shame, it really is.
lol…
look at her jacket: “Amy Wooooooo!”
You should be covering the OTHER Amy Winehouse!
Hilarious
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1080701/Bewitching-Courteney-Cox-casts-spell-A-List-Halloween-party.html
Why is the front suddenly so gigantic. Did I do something?
Font. Why is the font so big?
Looks like she’s ready for VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab”. Well, guess she’s been ready for some time. Have you folks seen this show? I’m not a fan of reality TV, but this one’s a car wreck on the 405. This season’s got a great combo of Gary Busey, Jeff Conway, Rod Stewart’s kid, one of the guys from Gun ‘n Roses, and Rodney King. OMG, I’ve never felt better about myself than after watching this show! Jezuz H, how these people manage to f*** themselves is an art and a science. So tragic, but yet so intriguing.
PAK31 of course, is beautiful…
Hahahaha, you made computer programming funny. Geeky, but still funny.
Bah hahahaha. You will be a billionaire.
Is that Sam Ronson with her? Looks like her!
Thanks a lot Beet! I actually had a dream last night that Samantha Ronson died of a drug overdose because of you!