You Guys Have to Hear About Sophie Monk for Awhile So I Can Pursue a Fantasy Relationship with Matt Felker
October 13th, 2008 by Evil Beet
It’s not that I’ve ever given you a reason to care about Sophie Monk in the past, other than the fact that she’s the chick Benji Madden was with before Paris Hilton, but we’re going to start caring about her around here, and I’ll tell you why: I’m trying to sleep with Matt Felker. Who’s Matt Felker, you may ask? Why, he’s the hot guy from the Britney Spears “Toxic” video, a longtime crush of mine who is also the producer of Sophie’s upcoming television show, Bigger Than Paris. He would like for me to plug Sophie and the show. Now, normally I would be all like, “Um, my opinion cannot be bought. I don’t much care about Sophie or her show, and I’m not going to start just because you tell me to. This is an independent blog and I say what I want.” And it’s true: my opinion cannot be bought. It can, however, be seduced.
We’d like to add that, if Matt is reading this, we would also enjoy some exclusive shirtless photos of him to go along with the plugs for Sophie Monk’s upcoming television show, Bigger Than Paris. Exclusive shirtless pics would help us to better plug the show. Exclusive shirtless pics and tight pants. We’re just saying.
Here’s Sophie — star of the upcoming television show Bigger Than Paris — promoting Hollywood Fashion Shapes in Sydney.
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October 13th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
good luck with matt felker, beet!
October 13th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I think she has a very unique, interesting beauty. The show’s title is kind of funny, no?
Regardless, she is soooooo much prettier than Paris.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Was she in “Date Movie?”
October 13th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
DAMN!
If Beet gets Mat Flekler does that mean Sophie’s Bush will be available?
Beet & Flekler forever!!!!
October 13th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Loves it!
Good luck with Matt, Beet! I’d Felker any day of the week. And by “er”, I mean Matt Felker. Although I’m not normally partial to blonds. So, yeah. Go get ‘em, Beet!
October 13th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Ah Sophie, I remember when you were a Marilyn Monroe look alike in the Warners Brothers Movieworld Parade. So long ago. Time for my nap.
October 13th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
She so looks like Gina Davis!
October 13th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
I understand that Matt Felker is bigger than penis but do we really, I mean really, have to endure shameless endorsements of Mrs. Piggy now. She’s not all that in any way. Except maybe with a paper bag over that head….I’m sensing a trend here.
October 13th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Not having a face full of collogen and botox like Sophie Monk = Priceless
October 13th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
She’s done something with her face and I can’t pick it..
And I too remember her at Movieworld, John. I have pictures with her as Marilyn from when I was, like, eight. Bizarre.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:53 am
Matt Felker is the hottest man on earth!
October 14th, 2008 at 4:01 am
Her cheeks are puffed up with sculptra or restylane or something awful like that. Why? She’s a pretty girl, shat’s with the filler?
October 14th, 2008 at 6:21 am
Yes she was in Date Movie, where she parodies that Paris Hiton ad where she is washing the car…bitch seems to have Paris issues
October 14th, 2008 at 6:44 am
Please, Please, Please, Beet, don’t start refering to yourself (or ‘Evil Beet’) as we!
October 14th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
she looks like my goldfish.
October 15th, 2008 at 9:16 am
bigger than what?
bigger than paris the city?
or bigger than paris the famewhore?
i’m confused. someone please help. thanks.
October 15th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
wtf is wrong with her face!?