David Duchovny’s Out of Sexhab
October 6th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Eh, it doesn’t quite have the same ring as Isaiah Washington’s “gayhab,” does it?
What else could we call it?
Porn-hab? Blow-hab? Wee-hab? Heh. I’m cracking up over wee-hab, even though I don’t even really know what it means. I really just think we need a kick-ass new term for sex-hab.
Whatever you choose to call it, David Duchovny is out of it. His attorney confirmed on Monday that he “has successfully completed rehabilitation.”
Is there a graduation for sex-hab? If so, how does one become the valedictorian?
I know, I know. I’m being insensitive.
Can I just tell a story I love?
So I’m driving around with my high-school boyfriend, and I’m making him listen to an old Jewel CD. Well, it wasn’t old at the time, but it’s old now, like I am. And the song “I’m Sensitive” comes on and he’s like “Ugh, I’m changing this stupid CD,” and I’m like, “Aww, baby, I want you to appreciate that I’m sensitive, and I want you to be sensitive, too,” and he says, in all earnest, “Baby, I am sensitive … at the tip of my dick.”
Anyway.
Congrats David. Good luck keeping your penis out of places it oughtn’t be.
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hahaha. shit, i did the like multiple haha thing again, but that’s the best story of a guy being a guy that i’ve heard in quite a while. i actually think your old boyfriend is, for his gender, extremely self-aware and should be awarded a medal.
who wants to bet on how many times he stroked the salami while in rehab thinking about some 19 year old intern on the set of his show? he’s a fucking pussy! tia leone isn’t worth going to rehab for. i could understand if it had been some maneater like scarlett johannson, but tia leone? sheesh…. david, let’s face it buddy, you’re just another pussy whipped faggot.
re; beet
i bet you’re awesome in the sack. quit teasing us with this talk and just put the fucking sex tape out so we can all buy it, bitch!
I had to tell that story to my husband. THAT is a classic!
As for David, if you know where I can find him I would like to be the first to welcome him back…perhaps wearing something naughty…
I would react the same way if you wanted me to listen to a Jewel CD, no matter what year it was.
Pervhab?
Out of the mouths of babes (he was a babe, right?)
Ha! that sounds like something my current boyfriend would say.
I would probably flick it, and then ask him how sensitive he was now…..
you meant valeDICKtorian, right? just checking.
this entry cracked me up. go beet!
like alcoholics the do the rehab thing and obviously the can’t drink anymore, so that means that this guy can’t have sex anymore???
How does a sex addict acts, so they hump everything, did David humped Leone’s leg and thats when they realized he had a sex problem??, thats some much bull shit
Why do I found out now that he was a sex addict? Why do I have to find out that now, now that my beloved Mulder has “recovered.” Here’s to falling off the wagon (insert obvious joke about him falling on me).
Sex rehab? What a joke. I’m sure whoever thought that one up is laughing all the way to the bank.
I wonder if Tea Leoni thinks that’s his real problem.
i volunteer to help him relapse!!
hahahhahaha!!! love the story!!! honestly, sounds like something my bf would say.
I, too, dated a man who could time his dick jokes really well.
Nympohab.
Whoopee-hab?
nookie-hab?
prevert camp
Fuckaholic
It’s called: how not to pay massive gigantic huge amounts of alimony if you can help it - cause you’ve only really got a disease!
I’m listening to that same Jewel CD as I type, it’s my favorite.