He’s Off the Market Ladies…
October 4th, 2008 by wendie
Last night Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky made it official at Le Cirque promising to love, honor and tan together ’til a violated pre-nup do them part. An over-surgeried 50 something marrying an 18 years his junior model…revolutionary!
Other wedding highlights: Sarah Silverman’s ass is a handrest for Jimmy Kimmel, Joan Rivers’ collarbone cracked by massive overload of QVC jewelry, John Stamos can be my Uncle Jesse anytime but only if he’s the perverted kind, Chevy Chase is old and bride raises hand ‘cuz she’s Sure. Billy Joel continues to be a complete fucking bridge troll and Barbara Walters searches Le Cirque’s parking lot in hopes of locating her lost hairline.
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October 4th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Hahaha!! Great piece Wendy - love the captions of the photos!
October 4th, 2008 at 7:34 am
He looks like a curly-coated Chesapeake bay retriever.
October 4th, 2008 at 7:47 am
No offense, Beet, but couldn’t you have picked someone that didn’t make serious grammar errors her first day on the job? (No comma in the title and it’s ’til, Wendie!). Also, please don’t ever use “cuz.” Otherwise, interesting stuff.
October 4th, 2008 at 8:01 am
hey wendie…you say some pretty funny shit!
re; stern. if you listen to his show at all it’s obvious that he ain’t all about the vagina like he pretends to be. my guess is this marginally hot beth chick is quite happy to entertain the boring, ugly fucker for the 10 seconds or so it takes him to get off so she can then head out the door and fuck her trainer from the local gym for an hour or so. i’m sure it’s worth prostituting herself for the million dollar payout she’ll get. too bad she had to sign a non-disclosure as well!
October 4th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Blow it out your ass. Sincerely, Billy Joel
October 4th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Thanks for fixing the ’til : ) Now PLEASE do something about the title. “He’s off the Market, Ladies” would be correct. Although I guess you could say “He’s off the market ladies” now that he has Beth to do whatever it is he can do to and doesn’t have to depend on market ladies … Seriously, though, nice work, Wendie. I’m just a perfectionist.
October 4th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Wow, sounds like Janie was one of the ones that DIDN’T get the job. Makes her feel better to critique… Oh well. I think you are doing a fantastic job Wendie - keep it up!
October 4th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Love him.. I think he is hot as hell… heyyy now!
October 4th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Oh my god Janie, if I were wendie, I’d reach through the computer and slap you. Hard. Every five minutes.
October 4th, 2008 at 11:41 am
I’m on board with Lah-Dee-Dah. Janie is just jealous. Wendie, you are doing a great job keeping us informed.
When I rented the movie ‘Private Parts,’ Howard said that he was lucky that he married his ‘best-friend.’ He and Allison’s character turned their backs and walked away with their children. That was a cliché that even Howard said that men use when they want out of their marriages.
Everyone knew that it was only a matter of time before he dumped his wife for a much younger woman. Imuus was right about Stern.
October 4th, 2008 at 11:42 am
haha, very funny shit, wendie. i definitely did that thing where i snort when i laugh and make my roommate feel really awkward. so congrats to you!
October 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Wow, I sincerely apologize for any feathers I’ve ruffled. I legit believe that Wendie’s doing a great job … otherwise, would I keep coming back here to look at her updates? I’m very sorry if anyone was offended at my suggestions … I was just trying to help. Keep up the good work, Wendie!
October 4th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@ Janie
You know that a lot of authors have a personal writing style, and it’s perfectly fine to have a longer sentences without coma’s.
Your picking her posts apart does make it sound like you might be a little jealous.
October 4th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Wendie… you rock, minus the shit about Billy Joel… Sure his wife is about a second older than his daughter. BUT he sang happy birthday to me once in person and I LOVE him forever!!! So go easy on the Piano Man Bitch!
October 4th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Wendie, I, too, have a writing suggestion for you.
Ignore Janie.
Carry On.
October 4th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
re; janie
tell em to shove it up their collective asses. don’t apologize as it’s like throwing meat to a pack of hyenas. you’re civilized. they’re cavemen. simple.
i’m guessing you’re not jewish.
October 4th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
@ censorthis:
You didn’t capitalize the ‘t’ in “tell em…” There should be an apostrophe before the ‘e’ in “‘em.” Capitalize the ‘d’ in “don’t apologize…,” the ‘y’ in “you’re…,” the ‘t’ in “they’re…,” the ‘i’ in “i’m…,” and the ‘j’ in “jewish.” Also, the mere word “simple” with a period at the end is not a full-sentence, so you might want to correct that. No need to thank me, you are very welcome.
October 4th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
@ Lah- Dee- Dah
rotflmfao
October 4th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
@purplemonkeypaws: that “coma’s” was a JOKE, right? Jesus. Apostrophe protection society!
October 4th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
@purplemonkeypaws: that “coma’s” was a JOKE, right? Jesus. You must have just come out of your coma to spell comma wrong AND injure my eyes by inserting a superfluous apostrophe.
October 4th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
OMG PEOPLE YOU ARE ALL SO AGGRAVATING
Who really cares about a coma here and a period there, or if someone forgets to capitalize…
This is a comment section, not a fucking English essay. You want to pick a fight with some one over the internet over god damn punctuation, then go for it you sad, sad people. Personally, I have better things to do than pick apart everything to find fault.
October 4th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
It’s “comma”.
October 4th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
I don’t understand why she hired this person. I personally am a much better writer, and I applied. Huh.
October 4th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Wow, I haven’t seen anything this petty since my 4th grade slumber party.
October 4th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
re; la-de
i feel like i learned something today. thanks for the rock hard boner i’m about to bitch slap your face with. you’re pal. censor
October 4th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Tuck it in your mattress sweetheart. Lotsa love always censorthis, Lah-Dee-Dah.
October 4th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
oh and also with your latest comment and then “re; janie”: case in point.
October 4th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
@ Lah-Dee-Dah
Seriously, If Beet is ever looking for another writer my vote is on u. You and TSS would make the perfect couple! But I’d def have to go buy a big box of depends before handling both of you together!!!!!!
October 5th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
You can almost hear the sound of a cash register, and see dollar signs in her eyes. I give it less than 3 years.