Evil Beet Is Hiring
September 17th, 2008 by Evil BeetHey kids,
We’re looking for a weekend blogger around here, because working seven days a week every single day of my life for the past two-and-a-half years has been getting a little grating. So if you have free time on the weekends and are interested in making some extra cash writing for Evil Beet, here’s some more info:
This is a PAID position.
Qualifications:
- Weekend availability
- Comprehensive knowledge of and love for celebrity gossip
- Strong, well-developed, unique writing voice
- Impeccable spelling and grammar
- Computer know-how (you don’t have to be a genius, but you need to know your way around a computer and be able to use some basic image editing software)
If you’re interested, please send at least three writing samples and a cover letter to evilbeet@gmail.com, subject line “EB Job Application”. Deadline for application is Friday, September 26.
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Paid position
What do we get… the 12th season of Little House on the Prairie box set?
I wood do it, but I don’t meet any of the qualificatins.. eccept that I have inpeckible spellin.
I nominate TSS for this position.
i second that nomination.
Hahaha, as soon as I saw this post I thought to myself, “I need to nominate TSS for this!” But you guys beat me to it. :)
ok, i guess you do deserve to have the weekends off, but i’m not happy about it :(
i’m a selfish bitch, i know, i know
I have a feeling Beet pays in sexual favors. You know, I guess a handjob or two a month from her would be worth writing a few stories every weekend about The Horse Headed Goblin a.k.a. Mr. Michael Phelps.
I fourth that. Evil Beet and TSS: A Force Unstoppable Until They Kill Each Other.
Wow. You think you know someone. Will this pay more than current job as Ombudsman for Marie Claire? If so I think I could be lured. I currently pull down $8.50 an hour. Plus tips.
Whatever. I’m off to ladies’ lunch.
PS- I’m also a little alarmed that I only truly meet the last qualification. Sigh. I need to go to a VoTech or something. Maybe become one of those commercial divers.
You should hire me. I have a laser like ability to make people feel small. Like real small. Like Vern Troyer’s kinky pinky toe small. But alas I’m too tired to fill out an application. Same reason I’m not ruling the world right now. Laziness. My downfall!
I fifth (of vodka) that. TSS for president.
Hopefully soon Sarah Palin with be available for the job.
Thank god some new ideas will flow on this website. Pleeeeeze…write about Wentworth Miller and Prison Break cast….24 cast…etc.
Wentworth Miller? Prison Break? 24? Hell no.
More Buffy the Vampire Slayer, please.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Was that serious?
is this real? are they really hiring?
If the pay is in sexual favors and beet is my boss, put me down for a position… or two.
Beet has more wit than let’s say, TSS. She also seems nicer, but still sarcastic. She needs someone SIMILAR to her so not to lose readers. Beet is also self-deprecating where TSS is self-inflating. No offense, TSS. But reallly, you should start your own site.
@ TSS It would be cool; people would log on just to get verbally abused by you!
I’ll do it.
I vote for Spiteful Lars! If he’s serious.
(Please be serious!)
I ::heart:: him.
Pick me
Sign me up for that shit.
But Beet I come to you for celebrity gossip!
I want Spiteful Lars too.
yo, how much are we talking about here? I need to know how hard to try…
I so would do this but I don’t meet all the qualifications… how ’bout you pay me to comment the shit out of all the posts??? I’d so be willing to do that!!! J/k… kinda….
Rita, yes that was serious. I LOVE Buffy the Vampire Slayer to death. Check out my tattoos!
http://img502.imageshack.us/my.php?image=img0919iy2.jpg
http://img517.imageshack.us/my.php?image=btvsclnv3.jpg
Hmm… I would definitely do the full application process if I didn’t work every Saturday. And I have no celebrity hook-ups, being in Canada. Lol
hey beet, how old do you have to be to apply?
spiteful lars, hell yes!!!
tss would be way too boring
Actually, Wentworth Miller appeared on an episode of Buffy – the one about the Sunnydale High Swim Team – so Josh and ThickMascara can find some common ground, and isn’t that what life is all about?
str,
Your momma didn’t say I was boring last night…
but then again she did have he mouth full.
Omg!! get the paddles, I’m about to code. You could have given me a little more warning in the title ie: “Sit Down Because I’m About To Reach In And Pluck Your Little Beet Wannabe Heart Out Of Your Chest” Yikes!
o my gosh. TSS you MUST apply. I LOVE reading your comments and would love even more to read a whole article!PUH-LEEZE!
Wow, I wonder what that must feel like to be the “big man on campus” in virtual reality. TSS? Do you walk around with a new spring in your step? Or just in your fingertips?
Hey Jojo,
It’s awesomeness…. just like the spring in your pants and the douche stain in your panties during your virtual reality sexy times.
See JoJo this is why we want TSS and not you. His sarcasm is funny, yours is just bitchy.
I’ll totally do it!
TSS for the job!
if TSS gets the job maybe we’ll get more celebrity snark and less diet updates!
dlisted is very funny; check it out.
The bits of Beet’s personal life are one of the reasons I prefer this blog over others. It shows that there’s a real person behind all of it, unlike other sites whose writers seem to be machines programmed to write snarky articles.
Spiteful Lars!!!!!!!
i love reading your posts!!
I hear ole Dubya’s soon gonna have some spare time… Never before was there a finer wordsmith and elite specimen of grammarian!
um…..
on second thoughts, perhaps Spitefull Lars would do a better job…