A rare shot of Woody Allen and his adopted daughter/wife, Soon-Yi, at the afterparty for the Vicky Cristina Barcelona premiere in LA.

Also there: Scarlett Johansson, looking like she descended from a completely different universe than Woody and Soon-Yi.

It’s another slow news day (which is so sad, because yesterday was fun!), and that’s the only reason I’m bringing you Audrina Patridge on the cover of Six Degrees magazine.

She looks really stupid, IMHO. Like she’s trying to be a “real” model and just ends up looking dumb.

She’s got nothing on Taylor Momsen.

“I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle. She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

Michael “Bad Person” Lohan, on rumors that Sam and Lindsay might be tying the knot.

I don’t know why I’m so genuinely sad about this, but I am. Like, reading it hurt my little evil heart.

Actor James Doohan — who played Scotty on Star Trek — was one of 208 people whose ashes were supposed to be sent out to orbit in space following Saturday’s launch of Spacex’s Falcon 1.

Unfortunately, there were technical problems with the rocket, and flight contact was lost only three minutes into the flight. So his ashes never made it into orbit.

This is the third failed attempt by Spacex — a private space flight company — to put a rocket into orbit. Spacex has sent a ship out to try to recover some of the lost payload, but the ship will likely be focused on tracking down the three satellites — from the DoD and NASA — that were on board, and not on finding Scotty’s ashes.

I used to work down the street from Spacex. It was one of the 8000 aerospace companies clustered in the tiny town of El Segundo, California, where I worked in my former life. I remember it. It wasn’t on one of the main streets, really. It was kind of on a little side street, a tiny, white, run-down building, set low to the ground with blocked-out windows, and just a big “Spacex” sign out front. I was like, “Eh, whatever they’re doing in there, it’s probably not going to work.”

This makes me so sad. I wish this had been able to happen for James Doohan. I met the man once, less than a year before he died. He was amazing and gracious, and he wanted this so badly. You’re in orbit in my heart, Mr. Doohan!

It’s rare that we see them out in public together, but Jerry Seinfeld cozied up to his wife of nearly nine years, Jessica, at a luncheon she co-hosted in Amagansett, New York.

You know, I totally didn’t know this, but I just read that Jessica Seinfeld (nee Sklar) had just returned home to New York from a three-week honeymoon in Italy with her first husband when she met Jerry at the gym. She promptly divorced the guy she’d just married to be with Jerry. Ouch! That’s pretty dirty, yo. I was never a big Jerry Seinfeld fan to begin with — I mean, this is a guy who dated a teenager while in his late 30s — but I just surrendered every last bit of respect I had for him. And this Jessica chick? Forget about it. What a dumb gold-digging slut.

Anyway. Gwyneth Paltrow was there, too, sans Chris Martin, per usual, as was Diane Kruger.

Heh.

It looks like Lauren Conrad will be at a presenter at this year’s Emmy awards.

No, wait, it gets worse.

The models who hand out the awards?

Will be wearing dresses from Lauren’s clothing line.

Heidi and Spencer must be furious.

But I can live with this, as long as Lauren Conrad does not, at any point, actually win an Emmy. I mean, do you think she could submit herself for Best Costume Director for her work on The Hills?

As rumors swirled Monday morning that Mary-Kate Olsen was being uncooperative with DEA agents — and implying that she may have been responsible for selling him the OxyContin that contributed to his overdose (I like how I say this as though I weren’t one of the people spreading the rumor) — Mary-Kate’s lawyer was quick to fight back.

“Despite tabloid speculation, Mary-Kate Olsen has nothing whatsoever to do with the drugs found in Heath Ledger’s home or his body, and does not know where he obtained them,” said Olsen attorney Michael C. Miller.

So, um, why doesn’t she want to talk to the Feds?

What is she hiding?