Even though I no longer write for the Beet I often send the Beet weird stuff I find on the internet because my brief blogging career lead to a bit of an internet gossip addiction. To add fuel to the fire I got an iPhone from my new job that I mainly use to constantly refresh Evil Beet Gossip, sorry work. It is a problem I tell you…until Beet goes out of town and and I can share some of my love with you…

I never introduced myself properly to y’all because I am actually in the field of entertainment and have shamelessly used some of my friends as tips. Oops. If you care, however, who my celebrity “twin” is, check out the video below. Seriously, I think I may during my free time today write “Evil Beet the Musical.”

From her MySpace blog:

DRUG FREE
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Life

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that’s what i have believed my whole life- don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going…

If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).

He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME. Why he feels the need to comment on anything in my life that i may want to keep private, is beyond comprehension- If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.

Can really blame her. Guy is a total knob. Between this and her girlfriend starting to look human life is looking UP for double L.

How about a little Thursday funny? I love the detail work in this. Molson!

Hi there.

You may have just read Beet mentioning that I (and maybe EvilT??) are going to fill in for a few posts. Exciting stuff, right? I know, I know, I suck and every time I fill in some big name celebrity dies. So my apologies in advance to the readers AND the dead people.

However, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go off on a slight rant.

I know you guys get a ton of EB telling you about her personal life. From her preferred method of sexual intercourse to how many people Leo peed on in a given day - you probably feel like you’re reasonably well informed on our Beet. I felt that way too.

But given what she told me before she went out of town I’ve got to ask: What is going on with our girl??

Let’s look at the facts.

She used to live in L.A. Now she lives in Seattle. She used to be bleach blonde. Now she’s a vivacious brunette. She used to sit inside and surf the net for porn like some sort of weird deviant. NOW SHE’S HIKING OUTDOORS???

Do you see my concern here? I mean, you think you know someone and then they go off hiking on you. And picking berries?? The Beet I know wouldn’t have risked scratching those perfectly manicured hands to pick a goddamn berry. She would have paid someone to bring the berries to her mountain lair. That was Evil Beet style. Now? I don’t know. I assume she’s off doing pilates in a forest. Clearly the world has turned on its axis.

I guess I’m not mad so much as alarmed. I mean, what’s next? Will she be getting some tribal art on her arm? Perhaps volunteering to help plant trees? I used to call her and she’d be at Les Deux. Now she’s not getting service because she’s “connecting with nature.”

Anyway. That’s all for now. If a gossip story jumps out of my computer today I’ll post something hateful about it. Rest assured I’m NOT going outside today. You ever been to Seattle? It’s like fucking Mordor right now.

Yours in love and loss,

Spiteful Lars

Hey kiddos.

I’m peacing out for the next couple of days to, ya know, actually go on the kind of vacation where I’m not checking in on my blog every four hours. I may be around here and there, but, in general, I’m leaving you in the very capable hands of Spiteful Lars, and, if we’re lucky, maybe even Evil T will swing by for old time’s sake.

I’ll be back by the weekend.

Smooches!

Here’s the very first music video from Disney up-and-comer/Miley Cyrus nemesis Selena Gomez.

What’s the verdict, kids? Does this girl have what it takes to be the next Miley Cyrus? Maybe she needs to leak a few sexy pics before we can really make that decision.

TEAM MILEY!

HOW HOT is the DVD cover for the Gossip Girl screener sent out to journalists?

Oh Chuck Bass.

If I had even a shred of virginity left in me, you could have it, baby.

Uh, so The CW has posted a few clips of the girls from the upcoming “cycle” of America’s Next Top Model. Of course, the one who’ll be getting the most attention at the start is Ms. Isis, who’s single-handedly taking the “menstrual” out of the “cycle” this time around. She’s transgendered. Her clip is above.

In general, though, the girls this season really seem to have been fished out of the shallow end of the gene pool. There’s not a one of them who doesn’t come off sounding at least mildly disabled in her interview. And there’s no plus-size contestant this cycle. In fact, I’d be surprised if any of these girls gets a regular period, considering their body-fat level. It’s like the producers were like, “Look, okay, we’ll stick a she-male in there, but, in exchange, all the rest of the girls get to promote unrealistic body images. Fair?”

After the jump, meet Sheena, Clark, McKey and Lauren.

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