Oh calm down, I’m not talking about Michelle.

The American Kennel Club had a poll to choose the first Dog for Obama and his family. The Poodle won!

In a national poll of 42,000 people, the Poodle narrowly edged past the Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier as the top dog for the Obamas, the American Kennel Club (AKC) said.

Obama has said that he would get his daughters a dog after the election.

What kind of dog would you get for the Obama family?

Well Jessica Simpson has now “reinvented” herself as a Country Singer.

Sigh.

It is a bit creepy how she all of a sudden got the sexy football player boyfriend, a pair of cowboy boots and now she really thinks that she can connect with country fans.

She also has a Maltipoo that she carries in a designer dog bag. Click below to sample. The whole album really isn’t that bad I hate to say. She has always had a knockout voice when she wasn’t trying to be all riffy riffy.

http://www.wqik.com/pages/doyouknow.html

Also Lars, I have missed you. Really do we have to do this in front of all of the readers? It has been too long.

The Beet, however, loves me best.

I think EvilT and I might be in a posting war… she hasn’t said hello to me or anything. And all in a shameless and transparent attempt to win EvilBeet’s love. The truth is neither of us have a chance, T. Give up the ghost.

So then, people have been emailing, calling, and texting - asking exactly what my relationship with THE EVIL BEET is. It’s a fair question. After all, she’s announced who she is publicly while I never will. The sad fact is that the nature of my stature makes it impossible for me to “spill the beans.” After I won that first Pulitzer I signed a non-disclosure thingy saying I’d never bring shame upon the blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, I WAS lucky enough to get it on video when Beet left this morning. I can post this because it doesn’t reveal my identity. You may note that I look a TON like that guy who is now on the hit TV show Lost. But I’m not him. Because I’m a 55 year old Samoan man who has won a Pulitzer and now resides in sunny Seattle, WA.

This is us saying goodbye this morning when her dad came to get her. Man, I really miss that chick already. Come home soon Beeeety!

(note: I’ve also gone to the trouble of captioning this for our Spanish readers because I’m JUST THAT GOOD.)

(**note: okay, it’s actually Portuguese. Alert reader Marcella nailed me on that little “detail”**)

Gold medal-winning Olympic decathlete Bryan Clay looking really really sexy with a gold medal to boot!

I understand a lot of you readers don’t think Michael Phelps has the whole package (ie- he kind of looks like Screech Powers from the neck up) but you can’t deny the hotness that is Bryan Clay.

Clay was the first American since Dan O’Brien in 1996 to win gold in the decathlon. Ah, I miss the Olympics.

Make me laugh bitches.

This came out of left field.

Hilary Duff’s dad has been jailed for 10 days for violating the terms of his divorce. I guess he started selling off assets he wasn’t supposed to and was essentially jailed for contempt of court. Hilary’s parents have been in divorce proceedings now for a while and the whole thing came to a head when Hilary’s mom asked for $25,000 to throw Hilary a 21st birthday party.

Um, isn’t she really rich and famous. I mean…at that point don’t you just pay for your own birthday party or do it in Vegas and get somebody else to pay for it?

Seriously. Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff and Hayden Panettiere’s fathers have all been in jail at one time or another. Forget about these girls going off the handle, we need to worry about their crazy parents.

It is really sad what happens to these families when their kids get famous.

Rafael Nadal has decided not to wear the new “look” that Nike developed for this year’s US Open. On first glance, this doesn’t look like a big story except as somebody who goes to the US Open this is a huge coup. Nike most likely developed a whole line of clothes that would be sold in their stores after he most-likely wins the title this year. Yikes.

Nike is trying to make Nadal into a more “proper” tennis player which makes me mad. Ever since he came onto the scene with his manpris (or as my boyfriend says, shants) and sleeveless t-shirts I have really been a fan. He is Spanish, he is sexy and who really cares what a tennis player wears if he can bring some serious championships? I understand the whole “tennis fashion” thing. Venus Williams is actually wearing designs from her own line at this year’s open. For those players, however, who just want to rock out their own style more power to them.

Go Nadal Go!

I don’t know if or when I am going to get over the whole “I-want-Michael-Phelps-to-be-my-boyfriend-or-perhaps-just-have-dirty-sex-with-me” thing.

This is not helping.