Tara was at the big fashion trade show in Vegas this week to show off her new fashion line, called Liposuction by Tara Reid.

Okay, okay. I’m kidding. It’s called Mantra. But how great would it be if it were called Liposuction? I would buy it then.

Mantra, which Reid is debuting today at the Project show in Las Vegas, features T-shirts, dresses, bikinis, ponchos and hoodies decorated with trinkets, charms and beads in eight bright colors that are meant to inspire emotions. “It’s about putting into the universe what you want in life: Red means love, pink is friendship, green is lucky, black is protection,” says Reid, who found inspiration in her longtime hobby of making charm bracelets. “You’re gonna have a story when you wear this bikini or when you put this dress on: You’ll either get love or meet a new friend or you might meet a guy.” Indeed, her two-piece swimsuits — which come in string, boy short, halter, and bandeau styles — also feature flirty messages like “Catch Me If You Can” or “Single and Ready to Mingle,” and her T-shirt dresses have cut-out backs strung with hand-made chains. And while Reid hopes to see the items (priced between $65 to $180) in major department stores by early next year, she admits that she’s just happy being creative. “I feel like I’m in a really great place in my life, and I love what I’m doing,” she says. “I love acting but I can’t hire myself. If this works, then we’re in business. If not, I tried.”

Heh. You have to give poor Tara props for being like, “Well, I’d rather have a film career than be hawking flimsy dresses, but I pretty much self-destructed under the weight of my drinking problem, so this is what we’re doing instead now.”

And, listen, dear readers, should you happen to spot anyone out in public wearing a garment that says “Single and Ready to Mingle,” and that individual is not some manner of small dog or illiterate foreigner, I implore you to shoot him or her in the face. There’s just no excuse for wearing something so stupid. We don’t need those people on our planet. The cops may give you shit at first, but, once you explain your motive, they’ll understand.

Okay, okay, this is really old, but it just came across my inbox and I had to share it. I’d never seen it before.

It’s Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston, many, many years ago, in a training video for Windows 95.

Yes, it’s every bit as painful as it sounds. And you wonder how much they got paid to do this.

But is it more painful than buckling down and finishing those expense reports you’re supposed to be working on?

Only you can make that decision, dear readers.

Part II is after the jump.

Thanks Marc!

(more…)

Nastia Liukin may have beat her for the all-around gold in Beijing, but, back here in the States, Shawn Johnson is out to prove she’s still the more fuckable of the female U.S. all-around gymnastics competitors (nobody’s even trying to compete with Alicia Sacramone).

I know, I know. She’s still underage. And, at sixteen, she probably still doesn’t get her period. So you may think it’s wrong of me to say things like that. But if you think for one second that details like that are preventing the adult men of America from masturbating to her image, you, my friend, are the one in the wrong.

She’s so small. So compact. So perky. So bouncy. Wearing such short shorts.

So who’s hotter, guys? Shawn or Nastia?

Congratulations to Snoop Dogg, who is now considered non-threatening enough to enter the country of Australia.

In fairness to Snoop, it’s not that he got less badass, it’s just that the government in power when he was banned was a little less immigration-friendly than the current administration, which removed the ban.

“He has now been assessed under the character test as having passed, so he will be given a visa,” said an immigration official.

With the ban lifted, Snoop plans to tour in Australia starting October 21 along with Ice Cube.

If you guessed “Kirsten Dunst and Justin Long together at Sunset Junction,” you’d be correct.

However, if you guessed “Recently rehabbed Kirsten Dunst at the beer garden at Sunset Junction with an alcoholic beverage in front of her and Justin Long at her side,” well, you’d be even more correct.

I wonder if Justin dates exclusively women who have had failed attempts at sobriety.

Sigh.

Is she going to be pregnant forever?

Okay, so I’m still technically Team Miley, because I don’t like Selena Gomez (no, I don’t have any reason for this, I just don’t like her, because I’m 26 years old and I have nothing better to do than develop allegiances in a romantic triangle involving two 15-year-old girls and a pre-pubescent boy-bander and what the fuck are you gonna do about it?), but I am developing a growing admiration for Demi Lovato.

Here’s some footage of her totally eating shit at a concert in Chicago on Sunday (the fall happens at 0:26) and she picks herself right up and laughs it off. She didn’t appear flustered in the least. I’m impressed, Ms. Lovato.