The Paris Hilton Superhero
August 20th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Is there anything Paris Hilton can’t do? (Don’t answer that. Don’t even try. You have other things that need to get done at some point today.)
This time, she’s becoming a superhero.
“I’ve created a superhero with Stan Lee, which is based on me,” Paris told the magazine San Diego City Beat. “And we’re doing a cartoon right now with MTV.”
Oh, man. She makes it so easy.
Okay, guys. What is Paris Hilton’s superpower?
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Blinding bad guys in the eye with the poisonous spray of her coochie juice!
This picture looks like a wax figure of her from Madame Tussauds. No real comment about the story because she’s so lame.
Her superpower must be “Being Hot”.
the gravity from her massive vagina pulls people into it to be liquified by her pussy juices. kinda like in “aliens”
her vag becomes wings to let her fly…like Arther from the tick
Damn all of the preceding posters on here who stole all of my vagina jokes! I say she can launch herself 100 ft. in the air with one queef.
It is a well known fact that all superheros have one thing that can tear them down, i.e. Krypton. Therefore, her superpower is that she can suck men in with her vacuum powered vag and then sucks all of their brains out for her own use. Her downfall, each time she says “that’s hot” she loses the brain power.
She uses her droopy nose to sniff out photo opportunities.
give herpes to the bad guys! THAT”S HOT!!!
She looks so much like her mom now… mmm plastic
ooh! I know! I know! Krabbe Power! You can’t see but you can feel. Now that’s hot!
Is this going to be like when Pam Anderson had a superhero cartoon, but less funny?
This picture frightens me.
Her powers, she can open beer bottles with her snatch.
Her weakness, camera flashes make her weak and therefore have to open beer bottles with her a$$hole.
Her superpower:
The amazing ability to stun and hypnotize her opponents with her wonky eye allowing her to attack without interruption.
Wait, wait. Maybe the wonk-eye is her DISGUISE. Like Clark Kent!
…she can suck cock at the speed of light?
GIANT CRABS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
super blowjob
Cum-Guzzling!
These comments made me laugh resulting in hot tea squirting from my nose. Damn you all.
she can digest vast amounts of cum
and down fall
it gives her gas
If you look close enough at this picture, you can see that her eyes are actually brown. Those contacts suck.
i just lost all respect for stan lee.
Her superpower, obviously, is sluttiness (and since she’s a *cough* great superhero, it manifests in gazillions ways. Her sidekick could be Crabby (have you ever seen him? He’s on gallery of the absurd’s pics of Paris, he’s lovely).
I agree with Asta, the wonk eye is her disguise. That chick is so altruistic, she will tolerate a blemish on her face to preserve her identity!(though I disagree with bluciano, according to everything we’ve seen of her, flashes actually fuels her powers, and when they reflect on her glittery stuff, they blind her opponents!)
Her enemies are meanie judges who put her in jail, Firecrotches who try to steal her turf (they have the exact same powers as her, except that they have rehab instead of jail), and her own self (vote or die, bible reader/good girl phase, etc…)
Man, that could actually make for a real amazing story, her dueling with her own self… A deeply conflicted airhead like we love ‘em ;)