The Terrorists Have Some Demands
August 19th, 2008 by Evil BeetHere’s Joe “Dead Eyes” Francis announcing that he’s suing the people who kept him in a Florida jail to the tune of $300M.
“I recently experienced an unbelievable miscarriage of justice that made a victim not just of me, but of all Americans who cherish their constitutional right to free expression … If this can happen to me, it can happen to you.”
This dude is so, so creepy. It’s like, if you’re one of those people struggling to grow spiritually, and you feel like you can’t quite grasp exactly what a soul is, watch Joe Francis in this video. And when you ask yourself, “What is it that seems to be missing with this guy?” just know that the answer is “a soul.”
Before you leave a comment, please make sure you've read our Guide to Commenting. It could save you a great deal of embarrassment.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
SO FUCKIN CREEPY. its almost like a bad bad badddd trip.
beetie your so right. i do see him lackin a bit of a soul. omfg..
August 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Well, apart from his satanic-eye-stare, this is what happens when an unintelligent idiot gets a lot of money. Kinda of similar to McCain!
August 19th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Wait I can’t believe that his company has the word “Film” in its title. Since when is drunk girls showing there boobies a film?
August 19th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Don’t stare in his eyes - he will try to steal your soul. His eyes are truly vacant. Very creepy.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
looks like he has trouble reading from the tele-prompter lol.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
When the director said, “Stop looking so rapist-y,” that is not what he meant.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
creeptastic!
August 19th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
There were so many things wrong with that video. I don’t know where to start.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Let’s just put him back in jail. Or a dungeon. Eww eww eww.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Beet, your writing as always is brilliant. You always manage to be insightful, real, and extremely funny. Kudos!!!
August 19th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
This seriously isn’t a joke? I couldn’t stop laughing.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
[ just know that the answer is “a soul.”]
I love the way you write….
He really is creepy as hell… ya those eyes will def steal your soul.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
I only made it a third of the way through - that is patently offensive.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
To be the founder of Girls Gone wild, he sure sounds gay. ( I should know) Maybe that’s why he came up with the Guys Gone Wild series…
August 20th, 2008 at 1:11 am
This may sound really….really evil, but he will die a horrible death. Just think if god really is a woman….. oh man does he have it coming. Yes, it was my friend that you recruited off of the beaches in mexico and she did see your house in “paradise” that was filled to the brim with booze and cigarettes, aka lung rockets. May you suffer from the complications of having some weird obsession with lizards and have then one bite and the rest eat you whole. horrible, horrible man. Rott, Rott, Rott!
August 20th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Beet- I would not worry so much about becoming an adult. It may only be a vision of what is to be, but is NOT yet. I can not see how you can talk about this guys eyes being soul-less when this free speech issue in your present line of work should be of tantamount importance to you. As it is in this country, since the present administration took away the right of habeas corpus, they can really drag any of us away and not have to tell anyone about it. The right of habeas corpus set us apart from all the banana republics and the beasts in this world. It no longer exists for us.
What happened to this guy should not happen to a dog. It can only happen because people worry more about dresses and shoes and forget they have a responsibility to keep their government on the straight and narrow, by paying attention, offering support to important issues, and giving all that as much energy as thinking about shoes and dresses.
It may be time for all of us to grow up an notch and keep America they way we know it. It does not just happen by itself. Once you figure that out, you can consider yourself a responsible adult.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Hey ladies, don’t hate cause you couldn’t get on “Girls Gone Wild” HABEAS CORPUS, BITCHES!!!!
August 20th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I was watching TV and dont really care what Joe Francis has to whine about so I watched this without the sound and somehow I imagine it to be even creepier this way. He kept smirking almost soooo strange. and so very ceepy.
August 23rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Creepy bastard. I’m sorry, with all due respect, I love the constitution especially when it applies to me and though I’m of the female persuasion, I like a good set of tits as good as the next bisexual person. But Joe Francis is a no-account fucktard just out to use the “Freedom of Speech” as a scapegoat to justify his own means because he was in prison. Yes, one night in jail was terrible enough for me, but even though I didn’t mean to have a knife on me especially a LEGAL one, I didn’t go around trying to get the judge canned. Sure there’s unlikeable people, but if I was the judge, I’d have no mercy on someone who was trying to become the new Larry Flynt.
Maybe he saw the movie one too many times and thought he liked his famous line of “Why do I have to go to jail for YOUR freedom?”
But someone should shoot him.