Phelps Takes First Olympic Gold!!!
August 10th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Here is my promise to you, darling readers: for every gold medal Michael Phelps wins at the Olympics, I will run a new photo of Michael Phelps’ pubic bones.
Because I’m in love with Michael Phelps’ pubic bones.
I’m in love with all of Michael Phelps.
I went to this party tonight that a girlfriend invited me to because she thought there might be some good eligible bachelors there for me. It was at a freaking gorgeous house that sat directly on the lake — and I would marry the house, probably, if that were possible — and the dude who owned it had a bunch of boats and a ton of money and so did all of his friends. The problem is, all they wanted to talk about what how many boats they had and how many houses they had and blah blah blah and it was so unbelievably obnoxious. Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing wrong with a guy who owns boats — but if I’ve known you for less than ten minutes and you’re telling me how many boats you have — and I haven’t asked — trust me, dude, I’m not gonna fuck you. Because that’s just obnoxious. This is not to say I won’t pretend like I’m going to fuck you, so as to gain access to said boats, but I promise, bud, I’m not actually going to fuck you. It’s like they see me checking out the boats and they’re literally like “Oh, you like boats? Yeah. Boats are cool. I have five. At my house across the lake. Where are you from?” I tell them that I just moved from LA. “Oh, LA, yeah. I just sold one of my houses down there. Yeah. I have five houses.”
I mean, I bet Michael Phelps doesn’t introduce himself to chicks like, “Hi, I’m Michael. I like your necklace. I have necklaces too. Except they have Olympic gold medals on them. Yeah. I have lots of Olympic gold medals. I’m famous.”
I want a guy like Michael Phelps. At least, like the Michael Phelps I have created in my head based 100% on his pubic bones.
There was a point here.
Oh, right.
Michael Phelps kicked some ass at his first meet of the Olympics, handily taking home the gold in the 400m individual medley, and breaking the world record by over a second while he was at it.
Not bad for a day’s work.
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damn.
i too love michael phelps’ pubic bones.
You crack me up!
hahahah i swear your the funniest person ever.
i love your stories.
Yeah, if I was built like him I’d walk around all day everywhere in a speedo to attract the chicks… but I’m not, so I tend to have to attract them with my charm… and my boat collection. ;-)
He has beautiful hands, as well.
The Michael Phelps I have created in my head is based 80% on his pubic bones, and 20% on the 15 seconds of his commentary on how much he loves his dog from that commercial awhile back. What commercial was that?
speedos are redeemed in my eyes. lord have MERCY!
Actually the US fencing team took the first gold of the Olympics, along with Silver and Bronze.
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/fencing/news?slug=ap-fen-womenssaber&prov=ap&type=lgns
I just love your stories too, seriously don’t change you way of presenting the news , it’s just puurrrfect!
Can you have a daily dose of Phelps pubic bones photos? It would make everyone happy!!!!!!!!
He has an amazing body!
Thanks for the yummy photo, Beet! Also, thanks for the great big belly laugh, per usual. :)
You said the one thing they can’t have: LA they’re up there, and as you know it’s a different world down here.
Don’t be fooled by the guys with small one’s!
(as you weren’t : )
Good luck Beet!
Thank you…Hopefully, there will be 8 amazing pictures of his pubic bones. He seems so laid back and appreciative of every win. Nothing about him seems arrogant…and he loves his Mom (and dog : D)…what else could one ask for?
Best idea EVER. This photo seems like it would be hard to ‘beet’ though. ; )
i have been admiring phelps since 2004
i remember him going on trl afterwards and showing off his abs
he makes swimming so much more attractive
his body is just a work of art
I love my daily beet :))) I had a similar recent experience but wouldn’t know to write about it that well. :)
i have 10 boats!!!
hahaha
I can’t tear my eyes from that beautiful body.
does anyone else think he looks like eli manning?
I’d fuck him until the cows come home.
I just set this as my desktop background. Now I can have a bit of Michael Phelps every day. I’m relying on you Beet, to give me an extra dose!
Beet, please post pics of the US women’s gymnastics team.
hey beet, and fellow posters…i hate to burst your fantasy about michael phelps, but being a u of m alum and having gone to a few parties with him (as well a very close friend of mine being on the swimming and diving team) he’s actually quite the opposite of what everyone talks him up to be…also, trust me, you REALLY don’t want to hook up with him…he is an awesome swimmer tho, so i’m def rooting for him in the olympics.
i am also in love with michael phelps’ perfectly sculpted pubic bone.
and after careful examination of the area surrounding his speedo i realized that he has a tattoo of the five olympic rings on the right side of his pelvis (i think it is his pelvis…) anyway you can see a tiny bit of it sticking out in the picture above. soooo hot!!!
so, I love swimmers, and I used to swim competitively, but the thing about male swimmers that always got me was the waxing/shaving. I mean look at him, hes got less hair than I do! So he’s hot, but I like my men to loko like men, not ken dolls
@ nina,
i’m interested.
are you saying he’s not a nice guy?
and does that mean you’ve hooked up with him?
Dang u r funny and yes i would like to butter his fly too.
i wish his underwear was a little lower
micheal phels is so sexy
i LOVE MICHAEL SO MUCH!!!!!!!! i WANT TO RIP OFF HIS SPEEDO WITH MY TEETH AND MAKE SOME LOVE TO HIM ALL NIGH LONG… FOR SEVERAL WEEKS… AND THEN SOME!!!!!!!!!
ouuop
I like Michael