THE VERNE TROYER SEX TAPE STILL HAS HOPE!!!!
August 7th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Oh, don’t tease me like this!
Seriously this Mini Me sex tape back-and-forth is like a guy putting it in, taking it out, and being like “You know, I’m just going to stop for now.” IT’S NOT FAIR. I’d rather just fuck Verne Troyer; at least then I wouldn’t know it was in to begin with.
Anyway, in order to prevent his sex tape from being released, Troyer first has to copyright the tape. In order to copyright the tape, he must find a copy. And he’s having some trouble doing that.
[Ranae] Shrider, unsurprisingly, has provided no assistance to her diminutive former better half, with her manager telling the Los Angeles Times she hasn’t seen the tape since selling it to an anonymous man who approached her with a wad of cash outside their once-shared house.
“He just said, ‘Here’s some money,’ ” Shrider’s manager, Holly Bannon, told the paper. “She just wanted to be rid of it, so she said okay.”
Bannon said the transaction, which earned Shrider $5,000, was a simple “cash deal” and that no paperwork was involved.
Ahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I LOVE this girl.
Troyer’s lawyer got all pissed, responding “Come on! Some guy just pulled up to the curb and gave her five grand? Was it in a paper bag?” That’s a real quote, not something I made up to be funny.
I WANNA SEE THIS TAPE.
RIGHT NOW.
Before you leave a comment, please make sure you've read our Guide to Commenting. It could save you a great deal of embarrassment.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Hey, at least you got to post that pic again!
August 7th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Every time I see this pic, the look on Verne’s face makes me shudder. It spooks me.
August 7th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
this is an experiment
August 7th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
ok hypothesis proven: y is the jezebel related post being moderated? o my gawd they’re like an demonic squid! their tentacles of evil r every where on the interwebs!!!!!
August 7th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
That’s hilarious, I love the lawyer’s quote!
August 7th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Why doesn’t the Crank this work anymore? This picture HAS to be cranked!
August 7th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I meant the crank “thing”.
August 7th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I just shudder thinking of him peeing in his closet in The Surreal Life. He came off as such an uptight dickwad and pervert on that show… then again, I guess I would be a little messed up if my twig and berries looked like a raisin and two BBs.
I imagine the video would pretty much look like a female Gulliver (she looks like a Ukrainian basketball player) rubbing a Cabbage Patch Doll on her crotch while the doll was making weird sounds like “Erghaeeeee a ha ha eeee!”
@ (not)gossipgurl: Speak English much? What on earth are you prattling on about?
August 7th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
ah, the classic lobster bib photo. still creepy.
August 7th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
lol, whenever I come to your site and see this pic posted I just die laughing…. im sure you’ll have more and more excuses to continue posting it. lol i love you
August 7th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
@down unda
I speak English LOTS. I was prattling on about how when i commented on the the post about danica mckellar ( i know, i probs spelt that 15 kinds of fucked up, but im currently spray painting a lot of stuff so the fumes may have have inflicted some minor damage on my short term memory) this mysterious lil script popped up saying ” my comment was awaiting moderation” .However, that never occured with any of many other comments , like the ones above. what gives? ( this paranoia may also be paint related)
August 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
If you read beets post you’d know that in order to stop the spam she’s moderating comments
August 7th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Courtney Love, that you?
August 7th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
@ abbi
now that ive opened up a lot of windows and turned on a fan what ur saying does make a lot of sense. And now i know why that paint was on sale. whatevs, at least now no one will ever suspect that i found all this furniture in the garbage!!!!
August 8th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
i am in love with you.
im not kidding.
its good to know that someone else appreciates this photo as much as i do