Some authority-flaunting young journalist snuck a video camera into the Watchmen panel at ComicCon. I guess some conference attendees waited in line for over four hours to get into this panel. And now you can watch it all on YouTube, wait-free. Enjoy!

“I don’t want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in a way that I would tell people to take their heart and run.”

Jessica Simpson, in a new interview with Elle magazine. The reporter asked her if she’d ever been abused, referring to lyrics in one of her new country songs. The lyrics say “It doesn’t matter how he hurts you, With his hands or with his words, You don’t deserve it, It ain’t worth it, Take your heart and run.”

Why I am certainly 100% in favor of promptly ditching anyone abusive, WTF is Jess referring to here? At what point was she abused? And by whom? Oh, she’s probably talking about John Mayer. There was a time six or seven years ago, where, if I heard “Your Body Is a Wonderland” on the radio one more fucking time I was going to call the police and have ClearChannel charged with abuse. So, I get it, Jess.

After Star magazine printed last week that Matthew Broderick had an on-going affair with a 25-year-old youth counselor, Matthew took his wife, Sarah Jessica Parker, out for dinner in Midtown Manhattan, and they made a very public show of unity. It’s the first time they’ve been seen together since the allegations hit the press.

Sources are reporting that Sarah and Matthew “had been out of love for a long time but remain married for their son … Now they have decided to make things work – especially for the sake of their son, James.”

Awww, I hope SJP and Matty are doing okay. They’re like my shining paragon of hope that long-term marriage can work. I don’t really believe that Matt was cheating on her. He knows she’d kick his ass. Her muscles are like ten times bigger than his.

Eight-times-married Liz Taylor reportedly almost died in the hospital this week after suffering congestive heart failure, according to the National Enquirer — so take it for what it’s worth.

“The doctors thought they were going to lose her. She’s still very sick, but she’s past the crisis,” says a source.

Get better, Liz! I know you have at least two or three more weddings in you!

La Lohan and SamRo are back in LA, and were roaming the streets the other day. And it’s actually come to this — I am censoring a T-shirt. Because there are penises on Samantha’s T-shirt. Because she is cool with that. I want a T-shirt with a penis on it. In fact, I want anything with a penis on it. I get no play.

Uncensored pic is after the jump. I may or may not get an email from my boss asking me to take it down. If the penis is on a T-shirt, does that count as a real penis? I’m not sure. It’s art, Mr. Boss Man. It’s art. See? Like this:

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A cigarette brand has withdrawn their promotional activities at an Alicia Keys concert in Indonesia, after the singer protested their involvement.

A Mild cigarettes, which are made by Philip Morris International, were sponsors of her show in Jakarta. When Alicia learned of this, she requested that the company withdraw their sponsorship.

“I am an unyielding advocate for the well-being of children around the world and do not condone or endorse smoking,” she said.

The company obliged, saying “Whether tobacco sponsorship of music events leads to youth smoking is a matter of serious debate. Having considered the facts in this specific instance, we have decided to withdraw all branding associated with this concert.”

And speaking of smoking — I have had a lot of false starts and stops, but I’m currently going on day five smoke-free! It’s the farthest I’ve gotten with non-smoking in awhile, so I’m hopeful. Plus, my mom is coming to visit on Friday, and there’s no way I’m going to start smoking again with her here (she’ll kill me much faster than the tar ever would), so I figure I’ll get at least a week and a half under my belt by the time she leaves. And that’s a LONG time without a cigarette when you’re basically a lifelong smoker like me. Keep your fingers crossed! (Oh, and I have to give a shout-out to my grandfather, who has relentlessly been shipping me packages with quit-smoking materials, like twice a week since he called me to announce himself as my “quitting buddy,” even though he’s never smoked in his life. I love you, Grandpa!!!)

Here’s Jessica Alba, out and about with Cash Warren, just weeks after giving birth to little Honor Marie (who was not along for the trip).

Jessica looks much less pissed to see the cameras now that she’s lost that baby weight. She shared after Honor’s birth about how desperate she was to ditch the extra weight that made her feel unsexy. How vain is that! Like, I understand wanting to get your body back, but you were pregnant, Jess. The weight gain is nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, I’ve never been pregnant, so I can’t really say for sure, but when I’m pregnant I plan to eat anything and everything I want.

Come to think of it, I kind of do that anyway.

At dinner last night, there were four of us, and I forced everyone to order a dessert — after I’d eaten lobster, steak, oysters, bread, mashed potatoes and asparagus — and my girlfriend and I were going to share one. So there were three desserts in front of us, and I just dug the hell in. As I was scarfing down the chocolate cake, one of my guy friends was like, “Beet, try the tart,” and after I’d swallowed my gigantic bite of chocolate cake, I was like, “I dunno, dude. It’s not really on my diet,” and then I laughed at my own joke for like 10 minutes. Ha ha. I think I’m just going to start telling people I’m pregnant so I don’t have to feel guilty about eating like crap. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t feel guilty about eating like crap. I love it!

Oh, and check out Jessica’s wedding ring. It’s kinda funny-looking. Maybe this is just a bad angle.