Things That Disney Will Love: Miley Cyrus Offered $1M Contract to Rep LifeStyles Condoms

Talk about thinking outside the box!

And by “thinking outside the box” I of course mean “thinking about 15-year-olds having sex.” Which is kind of like thinking inside the box, actually. Thinking inside the very underage box.

LifeStyles has offered Miley Cyrus a $1M contract to be a spokesperson for their condoms.

“Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to discuss the subject of sex,” said Carol Carrozza, VP of Marketing for LifeStyles Condoms. “With recent reports showing that one out four teenage girls has an STD and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set—and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.”

Yeah, dude. Teens are totally ready to discuss the subject of sex. You can tell that by reading the 8,000 comments on Perez Hilton referring to “lindsey lohan” as a “totl slutt with an uggly cuchie but id still let her suck my dik lolollllol first1!!.” Yes, teens are ready to discuss the subject of sex. Just not in a mature or even marginally productive manner. I’m all about educating teenagers about safe sex, but sometimes I think we need to put less emphasis on safe sex and more emphasis on spelling and grammar. Gonorrhea or not, you’re still pretty screwed in this world when you can’t read or write. But I digress.

In addition to the $1M, LifeStyles will also provide Miley with a lifetime supply of condoms, for whenever she chooses to have sex, which was last year.

Miley hasn’t agreed to do this, and probably won’t — in fact, this is almost certainly a publicity stunt on the part of LifeStyles — but still. I kind of love the idea.

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This entry was posted on Monday, July 28th, 2008 at 2:07 pm and is filed under Miley Cyrus. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.