Um, remember when Broadway was a haven of respecting thespian professionals and not a place for reality TV stars to chill out when they don’t become the next pop phenomenon?

Yeah.

Aubrey Fucking O’Day will be appearing in Broadway’s production of Hairspray starting July 18. She’ll play Amber Von Tussle, Tracy Turnblad’s arch-nemesis.

Now, I’m not saying Aubrey O’Day’s not qualified to play an annoying little brat, but seriously? Aubrey O’Day on Broadway? Next thing you know Britney Spears will be taking on the role of Lady MacBeth with the Royal Shakespeare Company.

Here’s Jessica Simpson performing her new country track, “Come On Over,” on The View.

Um, is that dress her idea of what you wear when you’re singing country? Because it’s my idea of what you wear when you’re in dress rehearsals for Little House on the Prairie.

I love PR folks, and I love it more when they want to give you guys cool free stuff.

In case you haven’t heard, the states of California and Washington are going “hands-free” on July 1. This means that you can be cited and fined if you’re holding your cell phone up to your ear while driving. In California, the fines can range up to nearly $200, and in Washington it’s around $125. Even if you don’t live in these states, cell phone use is the number-one cause of distracted-driving accidents, and California expects the new legislation to save 300 lives this year alone.

To help you prepare your vehicle for the upcoming legislation, EGO has a bunch of great hands-free car kits (check them all out here), and they’re giving away the EGO Cup to one of you awesome EB readers (all together now: “Thanks, EGO!”). It sits in your cupholder, plugs into your cigarette lighter, and connects to your cell phone via Bluetooth. You can just order it around with voice commands, so you don’t have to wear one of those silly headsets.

If you want to win the EGO cup, just shoot me an email (evilbeet@gmail.com) filling in the following sentence:

The celebrity with the biggest ego is ______________ because ___________________ .

Please make the subject line “Ego Giveaway.”

All responses must be received by noon PST on Thursday.

So basically everything on ICanHasCheezburger.com is the funniest thing ever. I ::heart:: that site. But when I came across this one I almost fell off the couch laughing. Had to share.

Naomi Watts and her baby-daddy boyfriend Liev Schreiber go for a romantical walk in New York City.

Check out the Birkenstocks on Liev. I haven’t seen a celeb sporting those in awhile. Love it.

Jaclyn Smith brought an adorable puppy to the Shear Genius season two launch event. I have no idea why she brought this puppy, but it sure was an effective way to get me to write about her.

This puppy is not as adorable as Leo, though, who has quickly made my old, fat cats his new playmates, much to their chagrin. He follows Max around the house, sniffing at his ass. It’s like the funniest thing ever. It looks like Max has a permanent ass growth — this little puppy who just trots along behind him with his nose up in his ass. It doesn’t seem to bother Max much, though — he seems to understand that Leo’s just a baby and he’s going to do weird things. Josie, on the other hand, kind of hates Leo. I think this is because Josie’s always been the one who’s most attached to me, and she doesn’t like sharing me with Leo and Leo doesn’t like sharing me with Josie, so there’s a lot of hissing, barking and swatting going on there. Ashley, predictably, is way too cool to be involved with any of it, and can usually be found sleeping far away from any drama.

With the success of Camp Rock, Demi Lovato is a certified Disney starlet.

And of course her semi-estranged father is taking advantage of it!

He gave an interview to Star Magazine, where he blabs about his relationship with his daughter, no doubt in exchange for a nice sum of money.

“She’ll always be ‘my partner’ — that’s what we’ve always called each other,” Patrick Lovato tells Star in an exclusive interview. “We have a special relationship that’ll never change, no matter how big she becomes.”

Patrick shares details about meeting Demi’s mom, Dianna Hart, an ex-Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and country music singer, and how they married soon after and started a family in Texas. But their marriage ended in 1994, and after Patrick later moved to New Mexico and suffered some health problems, a wedge developed between him and Demi. For four years he didn’t see his daughter until she made a surprise visit in February.

“I was at my dad’s house when I heard a knock on the door, and he yelled out that someone wanted to see me,” says Patrick. “I walked out of the bedroom — and there was Demi! I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was.The first thing she said to me was, ‘Hey, partner… I love you!’ We threw our arms around each other and began to cry.”

A young, pretty girl with an uninvolved father who’s already selling her out to the tabloids?

Oh, Demi’s just begging to hit the clubs.

He has to compete with Paris’ heels!

If it weren’t for that big-ass hat, Paris would look way taller than him. She kind of does anyway …

Here’s Paris and Benji doing some shopping in LA.

Paris recently clarified that story about her trying to buy a puppy for a photo shoot, saying that “I wasn’t looking for a new pet. I wasn’t even at a photo shoot that day. Puppies are not accessories or toys.”