Despite the fact that the former love of her life is currently facing life in prison, and an InStyle issue on how much she loves him hits stands next week, Anne Hathaway is all half-smiles at the Mexico City premiere of Super Agente 86 (aka Get Smart).

Spanish titles of American films always crack me up. I remember in high-school Spanish class we’d always laugh when our teacher told us about them. I seem to recall that the Spanish title of A Walk in the Clouds translated roughly to Put Out or Ship Out. Maybe I’m making that up. My all-time favorite is the Will Smith opus Yo, Robot.

The other thing I remember about high-school Spanish was that one of the vocabulary words in our book was the Spanish word for Abominable Snowman (”El Yeti”). I threw a fit. I was like “Seriously? This is what we’re learning about today? You can’t possibly think of anything more useful to occupy this particular space in our brains? This is very sad, people. A true scholastic tragedy.” I was not always especially well-liked by my high-school teachers. It was all that expressing of opinions that I did.

But then one day my Spanish teacher, Mr. Nunez, accidentally locked himself in his office, and it took the school the better part of the afternoon to get him out. And during the same afternoon one of the senior boys, Mike Klauss, was stuck in the principal’s office while they decided how to best discipline him for inviting the entirety of the freshman class to an thinly veiled sex-and-alcohol party. The fliers distributed to the freshman class called it a “Freshman/Senior Mixer.” The fliers distributed to the senior class called it “Meet the Fresh Meat.” Anyway my boyfriend at the time decided to plaster the walls of the school with signs he’d printed out in the computer lab that said “FREE NUNEZ/KLAUSS ‘98!!!” and it was pretty much the funniest thing ever.

What was the point of this story?

Oh, right. So after that Mr. Nunez couldn’t really get upset with any of us for anything. If he started to lecture us about our behavior, we were just like, “Hey, Senor Nunez, remember that time you locked yourself in your office and you were stuck there for like four hours?” and that would shut him up real quick. I loved Senor Nunez.

And Mike Klauss got suspended for two days and later ended up having sex with several freshmen girls anyway.

And, while we’re at it, is that a fucking capelet, Anne?

I kid, I kid.

After spending the better part of the day shooting down rumors that she and Ben are divorcing (which we didn’t report here because they were bullshit), Jennifer Garner takes her adorable kiddo, Violet, and her wedding ring out shopping in Brentwood.

Violet has a boo-boo on her knee!!!!

How freakin’ cute is that?

I love this little girl.

Little Abigail Breslin wears a Marines T-shirt when she arrives to film a spot on David Letterman.

Cute!

Madonna’s kids — Lourdes, Rocco and David — play in Central Park with their nannies.

There are actually three nannies here — you can see the legs of the other two behind the one that looks suspiciously like Jessica Biel.

A nanny per kid!

Brilliant!

Kate Gosselin, are you paying attention here?

[Image via Splash]

I have to admit I like Anne Hathaway a LOT more now that there’s actually some drama surrounding her. As you’ll recall, Anne spent awhile in a serious relationship with Raffaello Follieri, who was arrested yesterday for some really shady investment shit. The two had recently broken up.

But they didn’t break up recently enough, it seems. The issue of InStyle, which hits newsstands next month, has Anne gushing about her relationship with Raffaello.

“I enjoy living with him so much, but we’re in his apartment - and we’ve decided that it’s time to find where our home is going to be,” she said. “If we get a house as opposed to an apartment, the first two floors will be a bit more traditional for him to be able to receive people, and the top two floors will be whatever I want.” She adds that there’s no pressure about marriage because, “we’re quite happy . . . I’m [not] sweating out a proposal.”

My, how things can change.

Anne’s friends say that “she’s heartbroken. She was really in love with him.”

Oh, Anne. You TOTALLY dodged a bullet here.

Yeah, that’s right, Mini-Me has a sex tape. It was reportedly stolen from his apartment, which he used to share with a live-in girlfriend. The two have since broken up. (And, no, the girlfriend isn’t a Little Person.)

TMZ has a brief (okay for work) clip of the action here.

SugarDVD has reportedly offered $100K for the video. Shit, it’s worth way more than that. Little Person sex???? I would pay so much to watch that. Do Little People have normal-sized penises? Or is he dealing with a pinky-sized member?

Brooke Hogan — who is rapidly transitioning from a celebrity I detest to a celebrity I adore — did a photo shoot for Maxim recently. Despite all the recent drama, her dad was on-hand to watch (weird, right?) but this video of the shoot is pretty endearing. At one point Brooke actually does a back walkover on the beach, which I found quite impressive. I could do those when I was like 10, but became pretty much incapable of anything involving flexibility once I hit puberty. It’s really such a tragedy that flexibility is wasted on the young. We need it much more after we hit puberty.

This is a fun little item from Page Six:

JOHN Mayer might have broken Minka Kelly’s heart when he left her for Jennifer Aniston - but he had the decency to call her before the news about them hit the press. A Kelly pal said, “Minka [above] received a call from John prior to the story breaking about his relationship with Jennifer. He apologized to Minka, ‘Sorry, but I’m really in love.’ ” She found that interesting as, “during his relationship with her, John mentioned, ‘I don’t really get this Jennifer Aniston thing.’ ” Mayer’s rep declined to comment.

Well, I’ll tell ya, John Mayer’s getting plenty of Jennifer Aniston’s thing these days.

He’s gonna get bored of her so quick.