Paris Hilton has made a “generous” donation toward the construction of a medical building at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles, although hospital officials would not disclose the amount.

“The children I have met through my involvement with Childrens Hospital have truly touched my heart,” Hilton said in a statement. “I am proud to make a donation and lend my name to the fundraising effort to help children who are facing terribly serious illnesses.”

Heh.

You just know she donated a hundred hair straighteners to the chemotherapy ward.

What, Paris? You think this is gonna make me be nice to you?

Fat chance.

Well, at least we know that one thing is big about Verne Troyer: his lawsuits.

Mini-Me has filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against TMZ for running a clip of his sex tape on their website. He says that TMZ disregarded cease-and-desist letters sent both before and after the video showed up on the site.

Troyer has also sued Kevin Blatt (the man who sold the One Night in Paris footage), claiming her purchased the stolen tape and was trying to sell it to SugarDVD for $100K.

I can’t quite figure out how much he’s asking for (you can take a stab at the legal papers yourself here), but it seems to be at least in excess of $20M.

Wonder if TMZ will be reporting on this turn of events …

For reasons I can’t begin to imagine — well, I guess it’s just to generate buzz — the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has released the Top 10 contenders for Best Comedy and Best Drama, even though the actual five nominees won’t be released until later.

I assume this is just a way to boost ratings for the Emmy telecast — to get people talking about it sooner rather than later — but I just think it’s just kind of mean to be like “You were this close” to everyone who doesn’t make the final cut.

Anyway, here are the semi-nominees:

TOP 10 COMEDY SERIES FINALISTS
“Curb Your Enthusiasm”
“Entourage”
“Family Guy”
“Flight of the Conchords”
“The Office”
“Pushing Daisies”
“30 Rock”
“Two and a Half Men”
“Ugly Betty”
“Weeds”

TOP 10 DRAMA SERIES FINALISTS
“Boston Legal”
“Damages”
“Dexter”
“Friday Night Lights”
“Grey’s Anatomy”
“House”
“Lost”
“Mad Men”
“The Tudors”
“The Wire”

Noticeable snubs include “Desperate Housewives,” “My Name Is Earl,” “Scrubs” and “Heroes.”

Mary-Kate Olsen is not toothless!

The tiny twin — who stars in the upcoming film The Wackness — showed up at the film’s screening and actually smiled!

We now officially have adult photos of both Olsen twins smiling.

I never thought the day would come.

By the way, MK makes out with her 64-year-old co-star, Ben Kingsley, in the film, a clip which I sincerely look forward to finding on YouTube soon. “She was completely in charge,” says Kingsley of the make-out sesh.

With her mom in London preparing her divorce from Guy Ritchie, Lourdes is spending the summer in NYC with her papa, Carlos Leon.

Carlos reportedly lost his shit with the photogs just after this picture was taken. “I’ll see you alone one day!” he screamed at them. (Notes the photo agency: “He had just picked up Lourdes and was only photographed for about a minute before hailing a taxi.”)

Anyway, Lourdes is going to be such a strikingly beautiful young woman, if only someone would just tweeze her eyebrows. I swear to you Madonna is forcing her to keep that stupid unibrow if only because it’s a sure-fire way to keep the boys away.

The results are in!

The celebrity with the biggest ego — with nearly 20% of your votes — is Perez Hilton himself! Although most of you qualified your responses with “(well, he’s not really a ‘celebrity’)”. The runner-up is his namesake, Paris Hilton. The teacher has become the student!

Rounding out the top egos are Kanye West, Mario Lopez, Tom Cruise, and Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt.

Other amusing suggestions:

Max Beet (my cat)
Kim Kardashian
Tinkerbell Hilton
Cisco Adler’s Man-Purse (?)
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Amy Winehouse’s Weave
Katherine Heigl

The good folks at EGO Hands-Free have agreed to give away TWO EGO Cups to two lucky winners. (Thanks, EGO!)

Our winners are:

Shayne M:

The celebrity with the biggest ego is Perez Hilton because he STILL thinks people want to meet him. I guess he wasn’t at the opening of his Hot Topic clothing line either.

and

Sara B:

The celebrity with the biggest ego is Heidi & Spencer because even Gary Coleman needs someone to laugh at.

Honorable Mentions (sorry, no prize, but you guys made me laugh):

Joni S:

The celebrity with the biggest ego is Max Beet because he has his own brown nosing attachment, in the form of Leo Beet.

The McClellands:

The celebrity with the biggest ego is Paris Hilton because she needs to balance out her feet.

Sarah B:

The celebrity with the biggest ego is Perez Hilton because he uses his EGO cup to call his own “Gossip on the Go” hotline to hear himself talk. (Way to integrate the product into your response, Sarah! Have you considered a career in marketing?)

Thanks again for playing, and make sure to check out EGO’s entire line of hands-free products to prepare yourself for the hands-free legislation going into effect July 1.

So Bill Murray totally got ass-raped in his divorce from his wife, Jennifer Butler Murray.

I’ll pause here while you all hurry to the comment section to remind me that rape jokes are not funny. See, I think a rape joke delivered by, say, Mike Tyson, is not funny. Well, perhaps funny in the awkward silence that would inevitably follow, while you’re all looking at each other like, “Did Mike Tyson just make a rape joke? If we laugh, does that make us horrible people? If we don’t laugh, will he rape us?” But I think a rape joke delivered properly by me can, in fact, be funny, and furthermore works toward a longer-term goal of making rape a less taboo subject and therefore encouraging women to speak openly and honestly about it to their friends, their family, and the police. But I digress.

Once you’re done, you can come back here and read about how his wife walked away with primary custody of all four of their children and two of their houses. Plus Bill gets to pay his wife a lump sum of $7M, as per their pre-nup.

This is nothing compared to what Madonna will soon be shelling out to Guy Ritchie.

You don’t see much of these two in public these days, but Justin Timberlake took girlfriend Jessica Biel and her doggy, Tina, for a walk in LA.

What’s with Jessica’s hair?