Lily Allen looked so pretty on the red carpet before the Glamour awards.

This is how she looked after.

Said Lily on her MySpace blog the day after:

“Oh dear. Last time I wrote here, I was defending my honour and dignity, explaining my innocence and also outrage at the press for insinuating my behaviour was embarrassing. This time I’m putting my hands up. I got very drunk last night, too drunk. It’s not cool getting that drunk. I feel awful and I have to thank my little brother Alf for getting me home safely. Kids, drink responsibly or you’ll end up looking like this – not pretty! Was quite fun though, from what I can remember. Need fry up now.”

Hey, at least she copped to it and didn’t give some bullshit excuse about “exhaustion.”

Oh, by the way, the pink hair? “I dyed my hair pink this afternoon in my own bathroom,” she said at the event.

Congrats to Ethan Hawke, who will apparently wed his very pregnant fiance, Ryan Shawhughes (who’s also his former nanny). They applied for their marriage license yesterday.

Here’s Lindsay leaving a friend’s house in LA carrying a CD and a Red Bull. The text on it says “DEMO TRACK” and “Crazy.”

Oh, and we’ve seen her in those boots before. Except last time they were brown.

Sorry it was down. I recently got a beta account with twitterfone.com, which is awesome because it does voice-transcription, so you can “tweet” by talking into your cell phone. It would be even more awesome if it ever had any idea what I was actually saying. Also, the voice-transcription tweets seem to somehow screw up the Flash code on the Twitter badge. And it took me like two full days to figure that out. So we’re done twitterfoning for now.

I am eating junk food while watching other people exercise.

Yes, it’s true.

The good folks at Lionsgate were kind enough to send me a complimentary copy of the Work Out workout DVD, One-on-One Training with Jackie. And so I’m sitting here with chocolate pudding and whip cream, watching Rebecca do push-ups. This is so empowering.

I’ve never before watched an exercise DVD. However, I have now been working in the gym with my trainer for a month and a half, and I started a twice-a-week boot camp on Monday, and I have these adorable little muscles beginning to sprout in my upper arms — which is pretty much as exciting for me as when my breasts began to sprout, and I touch them to check on their progress about as frequently, too — and so I am now officially an expert in all things related to exercise. Oh, and did I mention I own protein powder now? It’s no big deal. It’s just that I own protein powder now. Just in case you wanted to know. It’s on my kitchen counter. For optimal accessibility. The protein powder, that is. That I own. I’m just saying.

Anyway, whatever, I guess it’s a good exercise DVD, but the public-domain music they’re using sucks big time. One cool thing is that the DVD consists of three separate 20-minute workouts (arms, lower body and “core” — which I know now, as the expert that I am, is fitness-speak for “abs”) and you can choose at the beginning which of the workouts you want included in your session. So you can do a 20-, 40-, or 60-minute workout, and customize it to the body areas you want to focus on that day. Technology! What can’t it do? (Answer: Give you a body like Rebecca’s.)

My one major complaint about the DVD: no Greg Plitt.

My trainer and I were talking about this last week, like, “Why wasn’t Greg Plitt in her exercise DVD??” And I was like “He’s probably in some sort of exclusive contract with someone else,” thinking I was all smart and media-savvy. No. Not at all. As tonight’s episode of Work Out revealed, Greg didn’t make the cut because he had no rhythm. Whatever. The DVD consists of very few exercises requiring rhythm. They should have put him in it. People would buy the stupid DVD just to watch him. And by “people” I of course mean “I.” I still think there’s a chance he was in a pre-existing contract, and they made up the “Greg has no rhythm” bullshit just so that it didn’t seem like they couldn’t afford to buy him out of his contract. She used Jesse as her guy instead, and Jesse, while sweet, is not very hot.

And what’s up with them using like a two-year-old photo of Jackie on the cover? She doesn’t look anything like that anymore.

All things considered, I just can’t imagine how this DVD is any different from any other exercise DVD. Greg Plitt would have been a differentiating factor. It was dumb of them not to include him.

I think they’d hoped to price this video in the $20 range at least, but it’s currently available on Jackie’s website for $12.99.

Lily Allen sports bright pink hair at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in the UK.

And what’s with the dress with the headless, bloody horses?

It reminds me a lot of this dress we saw on Tomoe Shinohara last week.

Are these dresses by the same designer, or is headless, bloody art the latest fashion trend?

Jay Leno will be on-hand for a gay group wedding at LA gay hotspot The Abbey on Wednesday night.

“He said that he is from Massachusetts and that the sky did not fall in their state when marriage equality became the law of the land there,” a rep for the event said. “He wants to impress upon everyone here in California that the sky will not fall here either.”

The event will also encourage people to vote “no” on the upcoming ballot initiative that would reverse the court’s decision.

Vote no on that shit, people!

Hate is not hot.

Okay, but I have to say, as much as I love my gays, I’ve been to The Abbey before and I hated it. No one would talk to me. No one would buy me a drink. No one would even bum me a cigarette. No one cared that I was there. It was devastating. When I’m in a social situation where my sex appeal is worthless, I feel like I’m missing a sense. I can’t navigate. My girlfriend and I were like “This is awful. Let’s go to a bar where we’ll be treated like a piece of meat.” And that’s exactly what we did, and we had never been so grateful to have short, fat, ugly drunk men hit on us.