Blame Jesus

June 30th, 2008 by Evil Beet


So I come back from a lovely afternoon of wandering around NYC with my sister to see that Heidi Montag thinks she might release a Christian album.

“I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God,” says Heidi, who identifies herself as “kind of non-denominational Baptist.”

She’s also planning on making a trip to Africa later this summer to “feed children and help build things.”

Sigh.

My sister and I got fabulous spray tans this afternoon, and then later today we’re going to dye my hair brown. It’s a new look for me and I’m really excited to debut it tonight! Oh, and after spending two hours walking around outside with me and my sister and NOT peeing, Leo gets into the elevator at the hotel and promptly pees all over the floor. Thankfully, he did this right after Lance Bass left. Yeah, you read that right. Lance Bass is in my hotel. We briefly shared an elevator. I am so cool. Anyway my sister is now busy calling everyone she knows to tell them about how my dog peed in the elevator. She thinks it’s the funniest thing ever.

I’ll check in with you guys later tonight after the party!!!


Before you leave a comment, please make sure you've read our Guide to Commenting. It could save you a great deal of embarrassment.

24 Responses to “Blame Jesus”

  1. Poppanna says:

    Beet? Sometimes I don’t get your dog.
    Why would he pee into the elevator AFTER Lance Bass left? Why?

    Anyway, I’m trying to think about something funny to say about the Heidi Montag thing, but my brain has not processed these news yet.

  2. Peluche says:

    Are we going to get to see your new look?
    Please!

  3. Mercedes says:

    Yes, pass on that ear-curling music to another niche and leave our hearing alone.

  4. Anonymous says:

    that’s a good picture of her! her hair is awesome. she looks hot.

  5. Raye says:

    I think that’s the best picture I’ve ever seen of her. Mainly because you can’t tell it’s her.

  6. bec says:

    hey – maybe she’ll do a christian COUNTRY album. wouldn’t that be something? she and jessica can battle it out for biggest dipshit! hooray…we all win.

  7. Andrea says:

    yeah I feel dirty thinking she’s actually pretty in that pic. Ugh. I need soap.

  8. joan says:

    this is ridiculous on so many levels i can’t even think of anything except “fashion. . .fashion. . .”

  9. Persistent Cat says:

    Yeah, I hate the fact that I usually like her hair and make-up. But then you see a picture of her where she looks like a prettier version of Tori Spelling. Which, as you know, is not a compliment.

    But Beet, you’ve been one of the few bloggers to ignore those two ass-hats. I don’t mind the posts where they are mocked (Viva La Letterman) and I can ignore the dog posts (cat person, I played with kittens over the weekend!!!! kittens!!!!!!! barn kittens who were cuddly and purry!!!!!!!) as long as I don’t have to read about those two….. fuck it, I’m not wasting thought on a good put down. I stole “ass-hats” from The Superficial.

  10. Teodora says:

    ha, my friend says “asshat” also and I wondered where the hell she got it from.

    yeah, heidi doesn’t really seem like the christian type, but like… whatever.

  11. Arbencita says:

    We will be expecting crappy camera phone photos of the dye job Beet.

  12. Arbencita says:

    Especially is it goes wrong!

  13. Arbencita says:

    if…I can’t proofread, I meant if!

  14. ribbet says:

    hasn’t jesus been through enough?
    dying on a cross….
    advocating turning the other cheek and yet having centuries of wars waged in his name….
    the republican party….
    now this….!
    why don’t we give the guy a break.

  15. Koo says:

    Your dog is kind of a brat, Beet. Discipline him.

  16. dodohead says:

    WHOA…I read the article…she compares herself to Jesus!!!!! Ridiculous.

  17. tell it like you see it says:

    Looks like Chris Crocker hahahaaa

  18. Tako says:

    Ok.. lol.. A christian album by this lady.. aiight………..

    Awww @ Leo peeing in the elevator lmao… That is so funny.. And im jealous about you being so close to Lance.. I think he is pretty cute..

    I hope you have a wonderful time at the party! lol

  19. she’s still a whore.

  20. c. says:

    wow. best picture of heidi ever. did she get her nose redone?

  21. ~GoodPotato~ says:

    LOL. she does look a bit Chris Crocker-ish.

  22. Ney says:

    I think she looks quite cute in this pic, however that christian music album is just the wildest thing I’ve heard today (well, that and Leo peeing on the elevator) is just stupid

  23. Anonymous says:

    as long as she doesn’t use the title blame jesus. that’s taken.

Leave a Reply