Happy Friday Friendos!
June 20th, 2008 by Spiteful LarsI received a telegram from the Beet this morning, something to the effect of “Blah, blah, my jetsetter lifestyle has tuckered me out, would you like to be beaten to a pulp by my loyal readers?”
My answer is always yes. A joyous and hateful yes. Why? Because I like the Beet. She’s my girl. And her dog, Leo, is my boy. I’m not sure about those cats yet though.
Anyway, today we’ll be getting into fun videos, a bit of gossip, and my personal opinions on who I’d fatten up if they allowed me to date/defile them. Our first contestant? Keira Knightley!
“I always bare my breasts,” she said at the press conference to promote The Edge of Love Wednesday at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. “It’s not like it’s only in this film!”
Ah, I see. For those not in the “know” this is a brazen attempt to promote a movie that around eight people will see. Mostly because it’s the 12th period piece in a row out of Miss Knightley but also partially because it looks like that film Atonement all over again. Now then, on a more tragic note, my own personal breasts are way fuller and bouncier these days. I’m around a C cup.
Referring to a scene in the wartime romance The Edge of Love with her onscreen husband Cillian Murphy, Knightley said: “It was very simple. It was a sex scene and I never like them when they’ve got bras on.” So when the director asked her to remove her bra, “I said, ‘All right then.’”
Indeed. We’ve all been there. Also, have you seen Cillian Murphy? He’s extremely creepy looking.
Ok then, that’s all for now. Just getting warmed up. Beet said she’d murder anyone that was mean to me but I told her it was no problem. I grew up in a broken home and I’ve already won a Pulitzer Prize for journalism. What could the internets commenters do to me?
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June 20th, 2008 at 8:46 am
There was a character head you could pick in The Sims that looks just like that guy. It paired well with the outfit that looked like a cross between a straitjacket and a butcher’s smock.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Um, we can make you cry yourself to sleep sweetheart. J/K. Welcome!
June 20th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Where’s TSS when you need him!
June 20th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Can I be the second contestant?
June 20th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Hey Lars!
Great to have you back.
And, seriousley, if you think Cillian Murohy is creepy in this picture,d on’t watch “Red Eye”. He’s one evil motherfucker in this.
Toodles!
June 20th, 2008 at 9:17 am
call me crazy but i think cillian is a cutie. not so much in that picture but in general.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Is that the guy from 28 Days Later?
June 20th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
umm, just cuz you have a pullitzer prize doesnt mean you got the wit, the sass and the bitchiness to be a gossip blogger! or maybe you do!
June 20th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Lars, I wanna squeeze your boobies
June 20th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Mercedes is my new favorite. And frankly, it wasn’t even close.
June 20th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
creepshow…….
June 20th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Kiera’s cool, but she always looks like she’s trying to suck a humungous booger back into her nose. Like the scrunched up face.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
cats suck.
June 20th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
lars is a boys name yes?
then why do you have boobies? :O
im confused
June 20th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Because I never work out, I’m too busy blogging and writin’ for a livin’.
But I’m gonna change! I wanna LIIIIIIIIVE!
June 21st, 2008 at 1:50 am
Actually I love Cillian, and he’s a wonderful actor and very handsome. That photo is HORRIBLE. He’s also married with like 5 kids. He was in Red Eye, but he’s been in some really good smaller movies. So no picking on Cillian. Also, his whole family are actors and very respected!
Congrats on the Pulitzer.
June 21st, 2008 at 2:30 am
oh, you were serious when you said you had a pulitzer? totally didn’t believe you.
June 21st, 2008 at 8:18 am
I love listening to or watching girls desperate for attention. “oh, look how my blond hair falls over my large breasts. Do you think my legs are too long?” Annoyance.
But seriously, do you?
June 21st, 2008 at 9:07 am
John Kennedy Toole won the Pulitzer posthumosly. I guess you didn’t have to die to get one. Oh well.